If you are seeking God sincerely...if you are pursuing Him with everything you have...you WILL find Him. Midday yesterday I had an intimate encounter in God's Presence (I'll share more about that in another post), and I was flowing in His Spirit. It was one of those times when you know that you know that you know that God has spoken. His calling was very strong, and His direction was more clear than it has ever been. It was a good morning. I found myself slipping off by myself for a few minutes so that I could soak it in. I pressed up against the window and looked out at the clear day..the squirrels running up the trees, the birds eating out of our feeder, the crispness that marked that moment in time. My soul was unclouded and clear, and I whispered a prayer, "I just want to stay here basking in Your Presence for a bit longer. I want to impress this moment in my mind and heart and soul so that I don't forget it. I don't ever want to doubt that I indeed heard very clearly from You." So, I lingered a few moments in that certainty of His calling...those moments when all my seeking resulted in finding Him. This was honestly a thrill to my soul!
But the flesh is always with us, isn't it? By last night as we were at some friends' house watching the Baylor/Duke game (sad day for us Baylor fans, I must say! :))...I got to talking about a recent situation with my husband's employer. In my mind, it's an ufair situation that is not good for our family. I can definitely see God's Hand in it, but my flesh was upset with certain things that have happened. As I talked about it, my flesh was jumping to the top and not walking in peacemaking. But even before I got home last night, I felt correction in my spirit. Remember my post yesterday about "blessed are the peacemakers?" Well, by last night, I was forgetting to put it into practice. I apologized to my Father for not walking in that peacemaking business.
Today I read a quote that I've read a zillion times, and I yearned more than anything to LIVE this quote. To live this out, I have to crucify that flesh that so easily entangles me and instead walk in the Spirit. Lord, help me to be more like YOU!
I will close today's post with this quote from St. Francis of Assisi:
"Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace that, where there is hatred, I may bring love; that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness; that, where there is discord, I may bring harmony; that, where there is error, I may bring truth; that, where there is doubt, I may bring faith; that, where there is despair, I may bring hope; that, where there are shadows, I may bring light; that, where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted, to understand that to be understood; to love than to be loved; for it is by forgetting self that one finds; it is forgiving that one is forgiven; it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life."
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Blessed are the Peacemakers
I've been struggling lately. The well of my soul is being churned. I've found myself lately being in constant pursuit of God. I want to know which way to point my feet, and the only One who holds the answer to that is God. So, I pursue Him day and night. I wake up early, and even that warm bed isn't tempting lately because I want more than anything to know Him, understand Him...and to know which road He's leading us down.
I've been studying the life of George Mueller by reading some of his own writings. It is affecting my mindset greatly and causing dramatic shifts in the plates beneath my feet. If you don't know who George Mueller is, then google his name. Someday I will post more about him, but one thing I wanted to point out now is that George could have missed out on God's plan for his life. In the beginning of his life, he was involved in many sins that could have dominated his life and stolen his purpose (I can relate to that one myself). But I'm not talking about that. I learned recently that while George was busy about the work God gave him in England, he was asked to go as a missionary to Baghdad. In the natural, this offer looked like an open door from God: They offered to pay all expenses to relocate him...the need was very great to serve in Baghdad...he had always been drawn to serving as a missionary in a place like Baghdad. Some of us (ME) would have jumped right away and said, "Look at this incredible open door!! I'm leaving tomorrow for Baghdad!" Right? I mean...all the signs seemed to be pointing in that direction...and even the expenses had been paid (and George Mueller was trusting God to provide for all his needs). But George didn't jump at it. He sat on it for awhile. For days he prayed and submitted it to God. He spent hours in prayer and Bible study to allow the Holy Spirit to guide his steps. In the end, he didn't go to Baghdad. He stayed in England, and as a result, thousands of orphans were helped physically and spiritually.
So, back to us... We can see several roads stretching out before us with life choices that are all very different. I think of George Mueller, and I realize that some of those options are simply distractions that would keep me from God's true plan. The ONLY way to know is to pursue Him...not just with a quick prayer on the way out the door...but in the kind of seeking children do when they are playing hide-and-seek. Seek and ye shall find. So, I find myself seeking with persistence. I think God enjoys watching us seek His Will, and I think He DELIGHTS to give us the answers.
For months now, I've been seeking Him intently. And that's where the depths of my soul are being churned. Because...ya see...as we seek Him with all diligence, we begin to find answers that we may have heard many times but never grasped. And sometimes those answers are SO HARD. Really, don't we always want the easier route???
Today was one of those mornings. Among the many things I'm studying is a book called Compelled by Love. I've read it four times now, but the concepts are so life-altering that I have to keep going back to sink deeper into it. It's based on the Sermon on the Mount. I know the Scripture and this book almost by heart because I've read them so many times. But today the reality hit me on a deeper level: I have to actually put this stuff into practice!
Compelled By Love is written by a woman who works among the orphans in Mozambique (and, like George Mueller), they rely on God for their every need. They have been persecuted numerous times by people in the country who do not understand their work. Once, when a $20 reward was placed on their heads, they chose to LOVE those persecuting them instead. Their land and buildings were taken from them, and their orphans were mocked and traumatized, and still they all (even those children) chose to love their persecutors and not react in revenge or hate. Love won out, and God provided ultimate protection and deliverance for them. Years later, they were given 7 times as much land and buildings, and the persecutors apologized. That is SO EASY to read, applaud and admire. But so very hard to step towards DOING.
This morning I had an internal struggle that had me restless in my seat. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. But inside me were some very good objections. What about the things I'm standing up against that I feel are really wrong...the people who are doing things that are not right in my eyes? What about the things that come so strongly against my faith...I'm not talking about the world...but Christians who live contrary to the faith that I cling to? What about the person in my own family who said hurtful things that I know are not right? What about when WE are stepping out in faith, knowing God has called, but others are putting up road blocks that we know are not right? What happens when we KNOW we're being wrongly accused or wrongly treated? What about when someone says or does something that hurts our children's feelings? Now, it's getting TOUGH (we could talk all day about that "Mama Bear" that rises in us when someone does something mean to our children!). But blessed are the peacemakers.
God was leading me to something that holds the key... Will I DO what He calls me to do? Or will I take matters into my own hands? One path is hard, the other convenient. One choice is natural, the other supernatural. One way is God's way, the other is my human nature's way. One path holds my life's purpose, while the other is a mere distraction to keep me from my purpose.
And I think of those paths in life...the crossroads. Sometimes I wish it were just one big step...so that I can take it once and be forever pointed the right direction. But it's a moment-by-moment walk. And I don't want to miss God's best. WHEREVER He calls, I want to go. WHATEVER He has planned, that's what I want. And this morning, He called me to come close and listen. He says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." Oh how my humanity struggles with that! But that is the road He's calling me down. Why in the world would I seek so intently, only to go the opposite direction when He calls??
"When we choose the low road--the only road--we never lose. When we respond in the opposite spirit---fight war with love, fight hatred with forgiveness, and repay evil with good--we always win." (Heidi Baker, Compelled By Love).
I've been studying the life of George Mueller by reading some of his own writings. It is affecting my mindset greatly and causing dramatic shifts in the plates beneath my feet. If you don't know who George Mueller is, then google his name. Someday I will post more about him, but one thing I wanted to point out now is that George could have missed out on God's plan for his life. In the beginning of his life, he was involved in many sins that could have dominated his life and stolen his purpose (I can relate to that one myself). But I'm not talking about that. I learned recently that while George was busy about the work God gave him in England, he was asked to go as a missionary to Baghdad. In the natural, this offer looked like an open door from God: They offered to pay all expenses to relocate him...the need was very great to serve in Baghdad...he had always been drawn to serving as a missionary in a place like Baghdad. Some of us (ME) would have jumped right away and said, "Look at this incredible open door!! I'm leaving tomorrow for Baghdad!" Right? I mean...all the signs seemed to be pointing in that direction...and even the expenses had been paid (and George Mueller was trusting God to provide for all his needs). But George didn't jump at it. He sat on it for awhile. For days he prayed and submitted it to God. He spent hours in prayer and Bible study to allow the Holy Spirit to guide his steps. In the end, he didn't go to Baghdad. He stayed in England, and as a result, thousands of orphans were helped physically and spiritually.
So, back to us... We can see several roads stretching out before us with life choices that are all very different. I think of George Mueller, and I realize that some of those options are simply distractions that would keep me from God's true plan. The ONLY way to know is to pursue Him...not just with a quick prayer on the way out the door...but in the kind of seeking children do when they are playing hide-and-seek. Seek and ye shall find. So, I find myself seeking with persistence. I think God enjoys watching us seek His Will, and I think He DELIGHTS to give us the answers.
For months now, I've been seeking Him intently. And that's where the depths of my soul are being churned. Because...ya see...as we seek Him with all diligence, we begin to find answers that we may have heard many times but never grasped. And sometimes those answers are SO HARD. Really, don't we always want the easier route???
Today was one of those mornings. Among the many things I'm studying is a book called Compelled by Love. I've read it four times now, but the concepts are so life-altering that I have to keep going back to sink deeper into it. It's based on the Sermon on the Mount. I know the Scripture and this book almost by heart because I've read them so many times. But today the reality hit me on a deeper level: I have to actually put this stuff into practice!
Compelled By Love is written by a woman who works among the orphans in Mozambique (and, like George Mueller), they rely on God for their every need. They have been persecuted numerous times by people in the country who do not understand their work. Once, when a $20 reward was placed on their heads, they chose to LOVE those persecuting them instead. Their land and buildings were taken from them, and their orphans were mocked and traumatized, and still they all (even those children) chose to love their persecutors and not react in revenge or hate. Love won out, and God provided ultimate protection and deliverance for them. Years later, they were given 7 times as much land and buildings, and the persecutors apologized. That is SO EASY to read, applaud and admire. But so very hard to step towards DOING.
This morning I had an internal struggle that had me restless in my seat. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. But inside me were some very good objections. What about the things I'm standing up against that I feel are really wrong...the people who are doing things that are not right in my eyes? What about the things that come so strongly against my faith...I'm not talking about the world...but Christians who live contrary to the faith that I cling to? What about the person in my own family who said hurtful things that I know are not right? What about when WE are stepping out in faith, knowing God has called, but others are putting up road blocks that we know are not right? What happens when we KNOW we're being wrongly accused or wrongly treated? What about when someone says or does something that hurts our children's feelings? Now, it's getting TOUGH (we could talk all day about that "Mama Bear" that rises in us when someone does something mean to our children!). But blessed are the peacemakers.
God was leading me to something that holds the key... Will I DO what He calls me to do? Or will I take matters into my own hands? One path is hard, the other convenient. One choice is natural, the other supernatural. One way is God's way, the other is my human nature's way. One path holds my life's purpose, while the other is a mere distraction to keep me from my purpose.
And I think of those paths in life...the crossroads. Sometimes I wish it were just one big step...so that I can take it once and be forever pointed the right direction. But it's a moment-by-moment walk. And I don't want to miss God's best. WHEREVER He calls, I want to go. WHATEVER He has planned, that's what I want. And this morning, He called me to come close and listen. He says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." Oh how my humanity struggles with that! But that is the road He's calling me down. Why in the world would I seek so intently, only to go the opposite direction when He calls??
"When we choose the low road--the only road--we never lose. When we respond in the opposite spirit---fight war with love, fight hatred with forgiveness, and repay evil with good--we always win." (Heidi Baker, Compelled By Love).
Friday, March 26, 2010
What It's Really All About
I've spent the past couple of years (and even deeper in the last few months) RE-learning how to think like Jesus (not like a church or like a good person...but like Jesus). I have more to say about that journey, but for now I will simply post this video. I just stumbled upon this song, and it so deeply echoes my heart and renewed mind that I felt my spirit tune in on every level...I could have SHOUTED because it meshed so exactly with what God has been teaching me. This is what it means to truly follow Jesus WHERE HE IS WALKING. Let it sit in your spirit and ask His Spirit to teach you...it may very well change your life.
(The video box is cut off...someone help me with HOW to change this! The first few scenes have words that are cut off, but you can get the gist...and you can hear the song fine. If you want to view it in full screen, CLICK on this link).
(The video box is cut off...someone help me with HOW to change this! The first few scenes have words that are cut off, but you can get the gist...and you can hear the song fine. If you want to view it in full screen, CLICK on this link).
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Mac Powell Testimony
While visiting my friend E's blog, I saw that she had posted this wonderful video. I knew she wouldn't mind if I also posted it. It's only ten minutes long and very worth watching. God's call on my life is to pour out my life for orphans and to share their story. This information is part of their story. If you don't have the time to watch all ten minutes, please watch the last couple of minutes to hear the statistics. It may very well surprise you...and humble, encourage and speak to you. Please pray about what your role is. You may not adopt, but you CAN help in some way (see our website at www.letsrebuildthewall.org for details on HOW to help). And please pass this on to your circle of influence.
Favorites
One of my sweet friends and fellow workers in the fields of the fatherless recently posed a request on her blog. She reminded us to be appreciative for the little things in life, and she asked that we post our 10 favorite things. I actually thought on this for a day. Many little blessings came to mind, but here is a list of the ones that float to the top:
1) A cup of hot tea (preferably decaf English Breakfast or English Teatime...we cannot buy these in our small town, so my husband sometimes surprises me with picking some up on the way home from work). Oh, and tea must have milk and sugar like they taught me to make it in England.
2) Scottish bagpipes and Celtic music
3) The smell of bookstores
4) The quiet hours of the morning before the sun comes up...the way the morning smells...the sound of the birds waking up for the day...the warm place I cuddle up for my time alone with my God
5) Being on the front porch in the spring and fall when the weather is perfect here in the mountains
6) Snuggling with my children to read good books (we try to do this every afternoon during the little one's nap time)
7) Seeing my children grasp onto their own faith in God...the times they have read amazing accounts of God using someone for His Kingdom, and they say things like, "I want God to use me that way too!"
8) The word "MAMA," especially when it's attached to the rest of a sentence that makes my heart warm (like, "Mama, I love you so much...you're the best Mama in the whole world!").
9) Watching my husband lost in worship with his guitar in his hands...not for performance but rather lost in the Holy Spirit...and my very best memory of him with his guitar was when we were in the orphanage, and he was ministering to those precious children (who had never seen a guitar!)
10) My worn Bible, with notes all through it...and all the pages that have been torn by little hands and then taped back up...the way I know exactly where to find anything in that Bible because I remember having underlined such-and-such in purple ink or having written something on the right side of this or that page
11) (Hey...I just thought of one more that is by far near the very top of my list!!) The absolute exhilaration of stepping onto the thin air of following God fully...the free-falling feeling that I absolute hate in the natural (don't make me go on those rides where you drop a million miles!!)...but in the spiritual, I'm sweetly addicted to free-falling! (Really)
1) A cup of hot tea (preferably decaf English Breakfast or English Teatime...we cannot buy these in our small town, so my husband sometimes surprises me with picking some up on the way home from work). Oh, and tea must have milk and sugar like they taught me to make it in England.
2) Scottish bagpipes and Celtic music
3) The smell of bookstores
4) The quiet hours of the morning before the sun comes up...the way the morning smells...the sound of the birds waking up for the day...the warm place I cuddle up for my time alone with my God
5) Being on the front porch in the spring and fall when the weather is perfect here in the mountains
6) Snuggling with my children to read good books (we try to do this every afternoon during the little one's nap time)
7) Seeing my children grasp onto their own faith in God...the times they have read amazing accounts of God using someone for His Kingdom, and they say things like, "I want God to use me that way too!"
8) The word "MAMA," especially when it's attached to the rest of a sentence that makes my heart warm (like, "Mama, I love you so much...you're the best Mama in the whole world!").
9) Watching my husband lost in worship with his guitar in his hands...not for performance but rather lost in the Holy Spirit...and my very best memory of him with his guitar was when we were in the orphanage, and he was ministering to those precious children (who had never seen a guitar!)
10) My worn Bible, with notes all through it...and all the pages that have been torn by little hands and then taped back up...the way I know exactly where to find anything in that Bible because I remember having underlined such-and-such in purple ink or having written something on the right side of this or that page
11) (Hey...I just thought of one more that is by far near the very top of my list!!) The absolute exhilaration of stepping onto the thin air of following God fully...the free-falling feeling that I absolute hate in the natural (don't make me go on those rides where you drop a million miles!!)...but in the spiritual, I'm sweetly addicted to free-falling! (Really)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
They are Taking a Faith Step
Several months ago, I "met" a precious Christian woman who learned of our adoption and then contacted me via email. We share similar hearts for orphans, and I've been blessed to get to know her. She and her husband wanted to host an orphan from another country. If you're unfamiliar with this, it's a program where orphans from other countries come to live for a month with an American family. The ultimate goal is to introduce them to Jesus and to find them a forever home if God opens the door. My friend and her husband didn't have the money to do this program, so they waited. The next time the opportunity came up, they didn't have the money again. But soon they learned one of the mind-boggling ironies of stepping into God's heart of caring for orphans. STEP FIRST, and then He will provide the means to do it. She tells this story in her new blog. I encourage you to read it and to become a follower of her blog so that you can have a front row seat as God opens doors to care for His child.
I have heard people say many many times: "Well, we would adopt IF we had the money. Adoption is just so expensive!" Or "We'd host a child if we had to money to do it. Those programs aren't cheap!" I always love to share the story that when we committed to adopt our daughter, we had ZERO money saved for her adoption...not a single penny! And if we had waited until we had enough money to adopt her, I'm almost certain that we would have NEVER had enough money to adopt her. I know this sounds crazy and counter to common sense, but one thing I've learned is that God does not fit into the boxes that our common sense neatly sets up. I believe that God is glorified when we step forward into His calling WITHOUT the means to do it. Hang with me here a minute...
When God calls, it's our job to say YES. It is NOT our job to make sure we have the means to do what He's called us to do. When we wait until we have the means, often it won't happen. WHY? Because when we absolutely cannot do something in our human state, we are brought to the point of HAVING to rely on God to do it. He steps in and performs this amazing miracle of providing all we need...and then HE gets the glory because HE did it! This sounds crazy. I always call it crazy faith. God is pleased with our FAITH...not our human way of coming up with the means to do what He's called us to do. He calls, and we say YES...even if (especially if!!!) it seems impossible to do in our human skin. This is where we see the line between doing things in our flesh and doing them in His Spirit.
Anyway, I was thrilled when our friends stepped out without the money to host this precious child. They stepped FIRST...and then God supplied amazingly (and quickly too!). Please follow their story because it is a walk of faith...so I can assure you that God is going to do some amazing things!
This is what it's about...stepping out to work on your small portion of the wall of orphan ministry. Really...there is something ALL of us can do. Just STEP and trust your Heavenly Father to be faithful to provide all you need.
I have heard people say many many times: "Well, we would adopt IF we had the money. Adoption is just so expensive!" Or "We'd host a child if we had to money to do it. Those programs aren't cheap!" I always love to share the story that when we committed to adopt our daughter, we had ZERO money saved for her adoption...not a single penny! And if we had waited until we had enough money to adopt her, I'm almost certain that we would have NEVER had enough money to adopt her. I know this sounds crazy and counter to common sense, but one thing I've learned is that God does not fit into the boxes that our common sense neatly sets up. I believe that God is glorified when we step forward into His calling WITHOUT the means to do it. Hang with me here a minute...
When God calls, it's our job to say YES. It is NOT our job to make sure we have the means to do what He's called us to do. When we wait until we have the means, often it won't happen. WHY? Because when we absolutely cannot do something in our human state, we are brought to the point of HAVING to rely on God to do it. He steps in and performs this amazing miracle of providing all we need...and then HE gets the glory because HE did it! This sounds crazy. I always call it crazy faith. God is pleased with our FAITH...not our human way of coming up with the means to do what He's called us to do. He calls, and we say YES...even if (especially if!!!) it seems impossible to do in our human skin. This is where we see the line between doing things in our flesh and doing them in His Spirit.
Anyway, I was thrilled when our friends stepped out without the money to host this precious child. They stepped FIRST...and then God supplied amazingly (and quickly too!). Please follow their story because it is a walk of faith...so I can assure you that God is going to do some amazing things!
This is what it's about...stepping out to work on your small portion of the wall of orphan ministry. Really...there is something ALL of us can do. Just STEP and trust your Heavenly Father to be faithful to provide all you need.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
What if we lived this out every day...
This was written by John Henry Newman and was one of Mother Teresa's favorite prayers (said EVERY DAY by the Missionaries of Charity):
Dear Lord:
Help me to spread your fragrance wherever I go.
Flood my soul with your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through me, and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel your presence in my soul.
Let them look up and see no longer me, but only you, O Lord!
Stay with me, then I shall begin to shine as you do; so to shine as to be a light to others.
The light, O Lord, will be all from you; none of it will be mine; it will be you shining on others through me.
Let me thus praise you in the way you love best, by shining on those around me.
Let me preach you without preaching, not by words but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to you.
Amen.
(quoting from the book Compelled by Love by Heidi Baker)
Dear Lord:
Help me to spread your fragrance wherever I go.
Flood my soul with your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through me, and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel your presence in my soul.
Let them look up and see no longer me, but only you, O Lord!
Stay with me, then I shall begin to shine as you do; so to shine as to be a light to others.
The light, O Lord, will be all from you; none of it will be mine; it will be you shining on others through me.
Let me thus praise you in the way you love best, by shining on those around me.
Let me preach you without preaching, not by words but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to you.
Amen.
(quoting from the book Compelled by Love by Heidi Baker)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Trading Up
This morning when I got out of bed, it was cold in the house. I slipped on a light sweater but still had goose bumps on my arms. The room had that pre-dawn dark that only shows the shadows of things. I could make out the outline of one of my warmer sweaters on our cedar chest where I had left it last night. I reached down to get it, but for a split second, I stopped myself. I was really chilly, and the sweater I was wearing was starting to get warmer with my body heat. You may not understand this unless you are as cold-natured as I am, but I actually dreaded those few seconds when I took off one sweater and before I could get the other one on. Plus, the new sweater (though it was a fuzzy and much warmer than the one I was wearing) would actually feel colder because it had not yet had body heat in it. The thought of putting on a colder sweater was not appealing, so I paused to weigh this minor choice that felt like a major choice so early in the morning.
As I reached for my fuzzy sweater and took off my other sweater, in my spirit I could hear my Shepherd's voice: "See...this is what it's like to trade your plans for mine." Again, the training and the guidance of my Shepherd was at a moment when I least expected it...but again so very clear. It's trading up. It's not like trading your peanut butter sandwich for a pimento cheese sandwich (although, for me that IS trading up!). But it's much much more. It's like trading your peanut butter sandwich for a 7-course meal (the kind at an elegantly set table with more forks than a person reasonably knows what to do with!).
Why do we hang onto the old sweater? Why do we insist on holding on to the less-than-best when the very best is only one decision away? Why do we cringe when we hear that we are to lay down our lives in order to find them? I think it's because we don't want to lose what's familiar to us. We don't want to lose what is easy for us to control and exchange it for something that is not within our realm of control. We like control, don't we??? We forfeit the BEST in order to have the comfortable. Sounds crazy, but we do it every day of our lives.
From the book Living in the Light of Eternity: "Have you seen how the wind comes and carries off the dry leaves from beheath a tree? That is the best way for me to explain what I mean. Let the wind of God blow you away and carry you wherever He wishes. And then what? Don't we need to know more than that? No. I do not know where the Lord will have you or me go tomorrow or next year. All I know is that I am standing on emptiness and declaring total dependence on the Lord. I am but a handful of dust. I have nothing in myself that I can cling to, no strength of my own to carry me. It is He who leads me, whether that means having everything or having nothing. All that matters is Him."
I went downstairs (in my fuzzy warm sweater!) and curled up in my favorite quiet spot. I did some reading and praying. And while I was praying, an interesting vision filled my mind's eye. I could see a long white/blank path...it stretched on for what seemed like forever...just a blank road with no markings, no buildings, no anything. And down the road I could see Jesus. So, it was me and Jesus and in between us was this empty blank path. This picture came to me as I was praying because my prayer was, "I give it all to you. I lay it all down...all my ideas and plans. All I want is YOUR plan for my life. I don't even know the details of what that means, but I'm committing to doing whatever You lead me to do." So, I could picture the road ahead that looks blank and empty...at least as far as my human eyes can see...because there's nothing that I'm inserting into it. There's no "well, I'll follow You if you include this in my life" or "I'll agree to Your plan if I can be assured that I can have this in my life." No...it's a blank path. This is the path that cannot be navigated by sight. Faith is the only compass for this one. But this is the better path...the best path. It requires trading up...giving up the familiar warm path in order to gain the unpredictable, every-winding path of unending adventure and unseen treasures. It may carry me where I never wanted or dreamed I'd go. It may wind through some valleys that I wouldn't want to walk through. It may feel like thin air every step of the way. But up ahead on that path, I see Jesus. He's a kind Shepherd, and He's beckoning to "Come follow me." I'm glad the path looks blank because it makes His footsteps much more visibly pronounced.
As I reached for my fuzzy sweater and took off my other sweater, in my spirit I could hear my Shepherd's voice: "See...this is what it's like to trade your plans for mine." Again, the training and the guidance of my Shepherd was at a moment when I least expected it...but again so very clear. It's trading up. It's not like trading your peanut butter sandwich for a pimento cheese sandwich (although, for me that IS trading up!). But it's much much more. It's like trading your peanut butter sandwich for a 7-course meal (the kind at an elegantly set table with more forks than a person reasonably knows what to do with!).
Why do we hang onto the old sweater? Why do we insist on holding on to the less-than-best when the very best is only one decision away? Why do we cringe when we hear that we are to lay down our lives in order to find them? I think it's because we don't want to lose what's familiar to us. We don't want to lose what is easy for us to control and exchange it for something that is not within our realm of control. We like control, don't we??? We forfeit the BEST in order to have the comfortable. Sounds crazy, but we do it every day of our lives.
From the book Living in the Light of Eternity: "Have you seen how the wind comes and carries off the dry leaves from beheath a tree? That is the best way for me to explain what I mean. Let the wind of God blow you away and carry you wherever He wishes. And then what? Don't we need to know more than that? No. I do not know where the Lord will have you or me go tomorrow or next year. All I know is that I am standing on emptiness and declaring total dependence on the Lord. I am but a handful of dust. I have nothing in myself that I can cling to, no strength of my own to carry me. It is He who leads me, whether that means having everything or having nothing. All that matters is Him."
I went downstairs (in my fuzzy warm sweater!) and curled up in my favorite quiet spot. I did some reading and praying. And while I was praying, an interesting vision filled my mind's eye. I could see a long white/blank path...it stretched on for what seemed like forever...just a blank road with no markings, no buildings, no anything. And down the road I could see Jesus. So, it was me and Jesus and in between us was this empty blank path. This picture came to me as I was praying because my prayer was, "I give it all to you. I lay it all down...all my ideas and plans. All I want is YOUR plan for my life. I don't even know the details of what that means, but I'm committing to doing whatever You lead me to do." So, I could picture the road ahead that looks blank and empty...at least as far as my human eyes can see...because there's nothing that I'm inserting into it. There's no "well, I'll follow You if you include this in my life" or "I'll agree to Your plan if I can be assured that I can have this in my life." No...it's a blank path. This is the path that cannot be navigated by sight. Faith is the only compass for this one. But this is the better path...the best path. It requires trading up...giving up the familiar warm path in order to gain the unpredictable, every-winding path of unending adventure and unseen treasures. It may carry me where I never wanted or dreamed I'd go. It may wind through some valleys that I wouldn't want to walk through. It may feel like thin air every step of the way. But up ahead on that path, I see Jesus. He's a kind Shepherd, and He's beckoning to "Come follow me." I'm glad the path looks blank because it makes His footsteps much more visibly pronounced.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Standing on Emptiness
From the book Living in the Light of Eternity, by K.P. Yohannan (book can be found at Gospel for Asia's web site) :
"God wants us, in our life and ministry for Him, to stand on emptiness. What is emptiness? It is a void, a vacuum, total nothing-ness. It is like holding onto something you cannot tangibly feel. Your eyes see nothing but still you follow. Your feet step out onto what looks like thin air. Standing on emptiness means we are stripped of not only tangible things but intangible as well. Everything we are, everything we trust--our own know-how, abilities, talents, strength--all are gone. Nothing we do for the Lord can ever come from our own resources.
"The Lord wants us to come to a place where we are drawing on nothing but Him so that, as Paul said, 'this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us' (2 Cor. 4:7). There is no way we can say, 'I did that.'
"Throughout the Bible we see God drawing His people to a place where they were suspended over empty space, where they were challenged to operate out of faith and total dependence, where there was nothing tangible to cling to but Him."
This is where we're being drawn...to stand on emptiness...to step into the unknown...to jump into His Plan for our lives, even though we cannot see or feel the ground beneath us. We are praying that we will indeed count the cost and choose the road less travelled...the road that stretches out, suspended over empty space.
"God wants us, in our life and ministry for Him, to stand on emptiness. What is emptiness? It is a void, a vacuum, total nothing-ness. It is like holding onto something you cannot tangibly feel. Your eyes see nothing but still you follow. Your feet step out onto what looks like thin air. Standing on emptiness means we are stripped of not only tangible things but intangible as well. Everything we are, everything we trust--our own know-how, abilities, talents, strength--all are gone. Nothing we do for the Lord can ever come from our own resources.
"The Lord wants us to come to a place where we are drawing on nothing but Him so that, as Paul said, 'this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us' (2 Cor. 4:7). There is no way we can say, 'I did that.'
"Throughout the Bible we see God drawing His people to a place where they were suspended over empty space, where they were challenged to operate out of faith and total dependence, where there was nothing tangible to cling to but Him."
This is where we're being drawn...to stand on emptiness...to step into the unknown...to jump into His Plan for our lives, even though we cannot see or feel the ground beneath us. We are praying that we will indeed count the cost and choose the road less travelled...the road that stretches out, suspended over empty space.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
My Jesus
My oldest daughter is always asking me what my favorite things are...favorite color, favorite movie, favorite book. Most of the time I cannot give a solid answer because I tend to like many different things. Favorite color...well, I like when there are several bright colors all together. Favorite movie...it all depends on my mood. Favorite book...there are just TOO MANY great books for me to choose just one as my favorite! (I'm a book-lover!)
She recently asked me about my favorite song, and again, it really depends on my mood or the place I'm at in life. But, topping my list is this song because it mirrors my deepest desires and most intense thoughts...it challenges me...and it just cuts to the core of the meaning of my life. I tried very hard to get this YouTube video pasted right into this blog, but for some crazy reason it allows me to copy it but will never give me the option of pasting it no matter which way I go about it. So, I'll simply include the LINK TO THE SONG so that you can listen to it and see the video. *** For those of you who have children who sometimes watch online with you, I will give the PG-13 warning on this one...for violent scenes and one word that you wouldn't want your children repeating to Aunt Bessie! :) I love this song, and it forces us to look at things the way they really are...not a sugar-coated version of what we'd rather think about. ***
She recently asked me about my favorite song, and again, it really depends on my mood or the place I'm at in life. But, topping my list is this song because it mirrors my deepest desires and most intense thoughts...it challenges me...and it just cuts to the core of the meaning of my life. I tried very hard to get this YouTube video pasted right into this blog, but for some crazy reason it allows me to copy it but will never give me the option of pasting it no matter which way I go about it. So, I'll simply include the LINK TO THE SONG so that you can listen to it and see the video. *** For those of you who have children who sometimes watch online with you, I will give the PG-13 warning on this one...for violent scenes and one word that you wouldn't want your children repeating to Aunt Bessie! :) I love this song, and it forces us to look at things the way they really are...not a sugar-coated version of what we'd rather think about. ***
Monday, March 8, 2010
Making decisions
As I was enjoying my quiet time alone with my Father this morning, I was seeking Him on a very specific question.
Well let me back up a bit... We are at a crossroads in our lives. We are at the edge of a few different paths, each of which will lead us in a certain direction...life choices, job choices, security choices, ministry choices, lots of choices all at once. Early yesterday morning, I was seeking Him about which direction He wanted us to go. (One thing I've learned is that no matter how great something seems, I do NOT want to go that route unless God is walking that road with me!) So, I was drawing close to Him yesterday in the pre-crazy hours in our home, and I wrote a question in my journal, asking Him which direction He was calling us.
He led me very directly to 4 passages of Scripture that all tied in together in a way they never had before in my heart. Two of those Scriptures I really poured over were Matthew 13:44-46 and Matthew 25:31-46. One talks of the Kingdom of Heaven being like a treasure in a field that is found accidentally by a man. In his excitement, he hides the treasure again, sells all he owns and goes back to buy the field and to get the treasure too. The other Scripture talks about those who will inherit the Kingdom. He says that those who have served "the least of these" (fed the hungry, clothed the naked, invited strangers into our homes, etc) will inherit the Kingdom because whatever you do to the "least of these," you also do to Jesus. I sat pondering and soaking in these 2 passage of Scriptures. Later, my husband and I discussed them at length and in light of all the life choices we were making. If we decided to grasp the message, we knew we were being called to "sell all and buy the field."
I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in divine appointments. And yesterday morning we had one. After a long time of pondering Matthew 13 and Matthew 25, I went about my morning things. I made brunch for my family. After Sunday brunch, we almost always watch a sermon online from a nearby church that always challenges us in our spiritual walk. This has been our Sunday morning routine for a long time (we go to our local church on Sunday nights). We tuned in and found that yesterday we just couldn't get their live message. We tried 3 times, and by then I knew that there must be another message we were supposed to hear. I looked on their main page of online videos and saw one about Haiti (the pastor had traveled to Haiti last month). We love Haiti and were intrigued, so we settled in to watch his message that had been recorded over there. The title was "Treasure in the Field---Haiti." If you're interested in watching it, here's the link: www.jentezenfranklin.org/watch/ And as we listened to his message, my husband and I exchanged glances several time because Pastor Franklin quoted Matthew 13 and Matthew 25...the EXACT same Scriptures that God had given us that same morning. We KNEW beyond a shadow of any doubt that God was speaking to us.
His message? The treasure is in the field...go where the need is...pour your lives into serving "the least of these," and you will find hidden treasures of God's Kingdom...sell all and buy the field. Clear as day, that is His message to us. That is the direction He's calling us...to sell all and buy the field.
So, back to today...I was up early praying for direction. The question I wrote in my journal was this: "What does 'selling all to buy the field' look like in our lives?" We want to understand what specifically that means for us. My husband and I have committed to praying about it until we have very clear direction. This morning, I found a note in my Bible that said, "MAKE YOUR CHOICES FROM AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE."
What a concept! Stop and think about that one for a few minutes, and you'll find your whole mindset shifting. It's almost mind-boggling to consider what our lives would be like if we "sold all to buy the field," whatever that means in our own personal lives. Whatever form it takes, it means living with an eternal mindset...investing in things eternal. It speaks of giving up everything we THINK we are secure in and exchanging it for what FEELS insecure but in reality is the best security we could ever grasp our hands around. This mindset is upside-down, backwards and inside-out from the way we are trained in our society to think.
Those phrases keep running through my mind over and over: Make your choices from an eternal perspective. Sell all to buy the field.
Well let me back up a bit... We are at a crossroads in our lives. We are at the edge of a few different paths, each of which will lead us in a certain direction...life choices, job choices, security choices, ministry choices, lots of choices all at once. Early yesterday morning, I was seeking Him about which direction He wanted us to go. (One thing I've learned is that no matter how great something seems, I do NOT want to go that route unless God is walking that road with me!) So, I was drawing close to Him yesterday in the pre-crazy hours in our home, and I wrote a question in my journal, asking Him which direction He was calling us.
He led me very directly to 4 passages of Scripture that all tied in together in a way they never had before in my heart. Two of those Scriptures I really poured over were Matthew 13:44-46 and Matthew 25:31-46. One talks of the Kingdom of Heaven being like a treasure in a field that is found accidentally by a man. In his excitement, he hides the treasure again, sells all he owns and goes back to buy the field and to get the treasure too. The other Scripture talks about those who will inherit the Kingdom. He says that those who have served "the least of these" (fed the hungry, clothed the naked, invited strangers into our homes, etc) will inherit the Kingdom because whatever you do to the "least of these," you also do to Jesus. I sat pondering and soaking in these 2 passage of Scriptures. Later, my husband and I discussed them at length and in light of all the life choices we were making. If we decided to grasp the message, we knew we were being called to "sell all and buy the field."
I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in divine appointments. And yesterday morning we had one. After a long time of pondering Matthew 13 and Matthew 25, I went about my morning things. I made brunch for my family. After Sunday brunch, we almost always watch a sermon online from a nearby church that always challenges us in our spiritual walk. This has been our Sunday morning routine for a long time (we go to our local church on Sunday nights). We tuned in and found that yesterday we just couldn't get their live message. We tried 3 times, and by then I knew that there must be another message we were supposed to hear. I looked on their main page of online videos and saw one about Haiti (the pastor had traveled to Haiti last month). We love Haiti and were intrigued, so we settled in to watch his message that had been recorded over there. The title was "Treasure in the Field---Haiti." If you're interested in watching it, here's the link: www.jentezenfranklin.org/watch/ And as we listened to his message, my husband and I exchanged glances several time because Pastor Franklin quoted Matthew 13 and Matthew 25...the EXACT same Scriptures that God had given us that same morning. We KNEW beyond a shadow of any doubt that God was speaking to us.
His message? The treasure is in the field...go where the need is...pour your lives into serving "the least of these," and you will find hidden treasures of God's Kingdom...sell all and buy the field. Clear as day, that is His message to us. That is the direction He's calling us...to sell all and buy the field.
So, back to today...I was up early praying for direction. The question I wrote in my journal was this: "What does 'selling all to buy the field' look like in our lives?" We want to understand what specifically that means for us. My husband and I have committed to praying about it until we have very clear direction. This morning, I found a note in my Bible that said, "MAKE YOUR CHOICES FROM AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE."
What a concept! Stop and think about that one for a few minutes, and you'll find your whole mindset shifting. It's almost mind-boggling to consider what our lives would be like if we "sold all to buy the field," whatever that means in our own personal lives. Whatever form it takes, it means living with an eternal mindset...investing in things eternal. It speaks of giving up everything we THINK we are secure in and exchanging it for what FEELS insecure but in reality is the best security we could ever grasp our hands around. This mindset is upside-down, backwards and inside-out from the way we are trained in our society to think.
Those phrases keep running through my mind over and over: Make your choices from an eternal perspective. Sell all to buy the field.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Jump
I've been missing from blog world lately. You can almost always be assured that when there's silence on this blog, there's stuff going on behind-the-scenes. :) Since making the decision to step out, we've had some soul-searching, revamping of plans, changes in details...not to mention some serious action in the training end of it all. Picture an athlete stepping forward to pursue his Olympic dream...remember all of his long hard days in training before ever making it to the Olympics...remember all the times he falls down and gets back up...remember all the training and focus that goes into his every day...that's where we are.
Yesterday our youngest daughter was standing on the bed, ready for me to pick her up. I held out my hands for her to jump into them. She excitedly walked to the edge of the big bed and jumped into my arms. Now, this is no big deal for most children, but for our daughter this is a big step in the trust department. She was adopted just 7 months ago, and she did not naturally trust us at first. In fact, sometimes she still stresses out when I sling the diaper bag over my shoulder to walk out the door...she still thinks there's a good chance that I'll leave her. So, we are working on trust. She wasn't always so sure about jumping into my arms, but now she does it with ease. Yesterday, my husband was in the room when she was standing on the bed. I said, "Hey..watch and see what God wants us to be like!" I looked at our daughter and said, "Okay, come on!" And she headed to the edge of the bed and stepped off into what could have easily felt like thin air...but as her little feet left the bed, my arms reached out and caught her. It made me SMILE to know that her trust had grown so much in 7 months!
And each time she jumps into my arms, it speaks to my spirit. That's what God wants from ME! He wants me to know Him and trust Him so intensely that when He says, "Okay, come on!" I will jump with complete trust. That not only means that I jump...but that I do NOT hesitate...that I do NOT rethink all the things that could happen, as if He would somehow forget to catch me. I took tremendous joy in expecting our daughter to jump into my arms, and I imagine that God takes joy in watching ME jump into His...even when I cannot see how He'll catch me. Our daughter just KNOWS I'll catch her. Do I know God will catch me??? I mean really KNOW it...to the point that I actually do it...with no hesitation.
Today as I was washing some dishes after lunch, I was looking out my kitchen window (which overlooks the woods behind our house), and I noticed movement way (wayyyyyy) up on a tree limb. It was a squirrel jumping from one tree to another. Imagine jumping from one tree to another...not down low where the forest ground is close-by and nicely padded with leaves...but rather way up high where one slip of the feet will surely end in splattered squirrel!! I kept looking at that squirrel and thinking how dumb he was to jump on tiny tree limbs several stories above the ground. As I watched him, he decided to just sit on a thin limb and put his front feet in his mouth...as if he were eating a snack...no big deal. DUMB SQUIRREL! Who eats snacks at dangerous heights?? And it hit me: GOD MADE HIM TO DO THAT! It's not dumb when it's just what God made him to do (and just a note...we have many squirrels on our property, and I've never found one who died from falling from these tall trees...amazing isn't it!?).
When we do what God created us to do...even when it's crazy and something akin to that squirrel jumping from limb to limb way up in the trees...we have to just JUMP. Like our daughter taught me...it takes full trust to be able to jump. Like the squirrel taught me...when God creates you to do something, you can land even the craziest of leaps onto the thinnest of limbs. JUST JUMP (and maybe even enjoy a snack at death-defying heights while you're up there!).
Yesterday our youngest daughter was standing on the bed, ready for me to pick her up. I held out my hands for her to jump into them. She excitedly walked to the edge of the big bed and jumped into my arms. Now, this is no big deal for most children, but for our daughter this is a big step in the trust department. She was adopted just 7 months ago, and she did not naturally trust us at first. In fact, sometimes she still stresses out when I sling the diaper bag over my shoulder to walk out the door...she still thinks there's a good chance that I'll leave her. So, we are working on trust. She wasn't always so sure about jumping into my arms, but now she does it with ease. Yesterday, my husband was in the room when she was standing on the bed. I said, "Hey..watch and see what God wants us to be like!" I looked at our daughter and said, "Okay, come on!" And she headed to the edge of the bed and stepped off into what could have easily felt like thin air...but as her little feet left the bed, my arms reached out and caught her. It made me SMILE to know that her trust had grown so much in 7 months!
And each time she jumps into my arms, it speaks to my spirit. That's what God wants from ME! He wants me to know Him and trust Him so intensely that when He says, "Okay, come on!" I will jump with complete trust. That not only means that I jump...but that I do NOT hesitate...that I do NOT rethink all the things that could happen, as if He would somehow forget to catch me. I took tremendous joy in expecting our daughter to jump into my arms, and I imagine that God takes joy in watching ME jump into His...even when I cannot see how He'll catch me. Our daughter just KNOWS I'll catch her. Do I know God will catch me??? I mean really KNOW it...to the point that I actually do it...with no hesitation.
Today as I was washing some dishes after lunch, I was looking out my kitchen window (which overlooks the woods behind our house), and I noticed movement way (wayyyyyy) up on a tree limb. It was a squirrel jumping from one tree to another. Imagine jumping from one tree to another...not down low where the forest ground is close-by and nicely padded with leaves...but rather way up high where one slip of the feet will surely end in splattered squirrel!! I kept looking at that squirrel and thinking how dumb he was to jump on tiny tree limbs several stories above the ground. As I watched him, he decided to just sit on a thin limb and put his front feet in his mouth...as if he were eating a snack...no big deal. DUMB SQUIRREL! Who eats snacks at dangerous heights?? And it hit me: GOD MADE HIM TO DO THAT! It's not dumb when it's just what God made him to do (and just a note...we have many squirrels on our property, and I've never found one who died from falling from these tall trees...amazing isn't it!?).
When we do what God created us to do...even when it's crazy and something akin to that squirrel jumping from limb to limb way up in the trees...we have to just JUMP. Like our daughter taught me...it takes full trust to be able to jump. Like the squirrel taught me...when God creates you to do something, you can land even the craziest of leaps onto the thinnest of limbs. JUST JUMP (and maybe even enjoy a snack at death-defying heights while you're up there!).
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