A Family Rebuilding the Wall

Rise Up, Prayer Warriors!!

2012-02-01T06:52:00.000-05:00

Forgive my lack of posts. I've been busy with helping a good number of people walk through the adoption process. This is a "job" I thoroughly love! If you yourself are thinking of stepping out to adopt, be encouraged that many are standing in your very shoes right now...looking down that long, winding, unknown path and wondering, "Can I do this?" I encourage you to take that first step. I've watched over and over again as people just like you step forward, and upon each step of faith, God moves mountains.

Now, turning to the "big work" in orphan ministry... Many months ago, I asked my mom's cousin Meric to please pray for one of the orphans on Reece's Rainbow. She prayed for him faithfully day after day for months on end, and she would ask me for updates often. I loved her simplicity of faith and her determination to present this little guy before the Father. There had been no progress, and this child was still without a family and in danger of being transferred to a mental institution. Meric didn't care what the statistics were. Instead, she just kept presenting this little boy before her King's throne each and every day, reminding Him that He was the only One who could raise up a family to adopt. I have to admit that my faith wavered in the long wait, but Meric's faith stayed solid and sure. Then, sometime during the Christmas holidays, God supplied that miracle in a big way. He not only provided a family to step up to adopt this child, but He also provided an adoption fund that supplied almost every bit of the necessary funds for his adoption! Meric was thrilled but not the least bit surprised. And my faith grew. Again, I realized the often overlooked aspect of prayer. It is indeed the most important work in orphan ministry.

So, I come before you today, trusting that God is going to send someone to this blog who WANTS to be a part of helping orphans but simply doesn't know how. It is YOU, my friend, that will play a huge role in aiding an orphan...right now...and right where you sit behind your computer. I want you to see little Nathan's photos below, and I would absolutely love for you to commit to pray for him every single day until God places him into a family. Pray with faith, and bring Nathan before God's throne every day. Cry out to the Father of the fatherless on behalf of Nathan. You may be the only one in the world praying for him right now. PRAYER IS THE BIG WORK!!! It moves mountains. And Nathan needs someone's faith to move mountains for him. Please commit to daily faithful prayer, and then check Nathan's process on Reece's Rainbow.

Nathan 16G

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Boy was born in November 2004

God, please don't let this happen anymore! I can not bear to see these precious gifts wasting away before our eyes. God, help Nathan and all of these children find forever families…let the world understand the gift they are, that they shuold not be hidden away and mistreated like this

Look at Nathan, as an infant, and what he has regressed into….neglected, malnourished, but full of potential and life, even still. God help him find a family who will accept him no matter what his needs are.

An Adoptive Family's "Thankful Tree"

2011-11-23T09:43:00.001-05:00

Every year we do something special in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. Yesterday our children headed outside into the woods to find a tree branch that we could use for our "Thankful Tree." We cut leaves out of construction paper, and everyone wrote several thing for which they are thankful. Now our tree sits in the corner of our dining room and has been proclaimed as "my favorite thankful tree of all!" :)

Along with the more typical leaves that were labeled with "Mama," "cookies," "my warm house," and all the pets names, we also have some leaves that are specific to our individual journey as an adoptive family.

Here are some of our daughter's leaves (which she doesn't understand just yet, but it is an ever-repeating part of our "family talk"):

In big and little ways, our family tries to incorporate her life story. It is part of her. It is part of us. And we truly are thankful.

And as a side note... Five years ago today, a precious birth mother in Taiwan wrapped up her little baby in blankets and placed her in a busy place where someone would surely find her and begin her journey to her forever family. We honor that sweet birth mom, and we are thankful for her immense sacrifice.

Aging Out of the Orphanage

2011-09-18T18:56:00.001-04:00

At the young age of 16 years old, many orphans "graduate" from the orphanage and are given nothing but their few worldly possessions and a bus ticket. They say goodbye to friends. (All photos provided by New Horizons for Children)

And head out on their own, having no idea what lies before them...

They leave, with no training in how to live in the world and no mom or dad to call when they run into problems. And problems they DO run into. One out of 5 will commit suicide within the first year of being out of the orphanage. Two out of 5 girls will end up in prostitution. And many will resort to a life of crime just to survive.

Please don't look at these children, feel sad and then do nothing. Someone has to stand in the gap. Someone is needed to PRAY for these children every day, laboring behind-the-scenes in agonizing wrestling prayer on their behalf. Someone is needed to step forward to adopt. Someone is needed to give of their financial resources. Someone is needed to advocate for a child until he is adopted. Someone is needed to go to these orphans and work alongside them.

You are needed.

I cannot help but wonder who it was that was supposed to step forward to keep this lonely teenager from the street-living that is ahead of him. Are we indifferent to his life simply because it's not in our own backyard?

God, forgive us! Do we really believe You when you say that when we refuse to help these children, we are really refusing to help YOU? This is YOU walking down this road, and we refused to take You into our home...

"Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, 'Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his demons! For I was hungry, and you didn't feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn't give me anything to drink. I was a stranger, and you didn't invite me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me no clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn't visit me.'

"Then they will reply, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?' And he will answer, 'I assure you, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.' And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life." ---Matthew 25:41-46

Reality

2011-08-28T16:27:00.000-04:00

Today as we were driving home from church, I saw a dead animal on the side of the road. It was really an awful sight, and I watched as the people in the convertible ahead of us turned their heads as if it wasn't there. I shifted my eyes to avoid seeing all the details myself. Car after car did the same thing. If we look away, we can get the image out of our minds. We can forget it. We can go on almost uninterrupted with our happy plans.

Have you noticed that we tend to do this whenever there's a reality that we simply do not want to acknowledge?

Here's another reality. This one involves human lives, and I want to share some pictures that I want to you face. As you look at each photo, please ask yourself if you would ever want your own child to be in this situation. (I have been given permission from New Horizons for Children to share these photos with you.)

How many pairs of shoes have you ever worn that were in this condition? This is what is provided to kids in one of the orphanages in Ukraine.

Imagine these being your child's feet.

Here is a common bathing area. They heat water from the hanging hot water heater for use anywhere in the building. But, they fill this bathtub under it once a week and all the kids take turns to come bathe. The green bucket is used to pour water over the kids while sitting.

Will you please for just one moment imagine sending your child into this room with other children to be bathed once each week?

Here is a ceiling inside a foster home in Latvia. Note the black mold growing on the walls. Since there are concrete walls in most homes, the plumbing was added later in this home and comes into the house by a single pipe and then goes to a couple of areas for indoor running water in this home.

Can you imagine your child living in this foster home?

Here is a typical interior staircase. You can "see" it but oh, how you don't ever want to "smell" it!

Imagine your own child alone in this staircase.

This is a very nice bedroom in a typical orphanage. These beds were just replaced and they were all so proud of them! But, the smell! No plastic sheets for the beds means they wear out and become unsanitary very quickly!

Take a moment to simply close your eyes and imagine seeing your child sleeping in one of these beds tonight.

Really...did you stop and truly honestly picture YOUR CHILD in these photos? Is that too far fetched or too hard to even begin to ponder? Does it make you too sick to even consider?

This is REALITY for millions of orphans.

And it has been found that once a family steps forward to adopt one of these children, they lock into that reality. They really look at those beds and think, "Oh...my child is over there sleeping in that room that stinks so badly. I wonder if his sheets are clean. I wonder if he's crying alone in that bed right now." They see the picture of the shoes and wonder, "Is my child wearing shoes like that right now?" They see the bathing facility and cringe with the reality that, "My child has to face that room every week!"

And something inside just propels them to fall on their knees and pray for their child...not a simple, "Please bless Billy" prayer...but a wrestling-on-my-knees-in-anguish-and-tears prayer. Something compels them to go through a tremendous hassle of adoption paperwork, doctor appointments, fund raisers, headaches, weary travel and abandonment of all comfort zones...all for the single purpose of getting to their child as quickly as possible. WHY??

Because that child is one of them. It's not just "someone somewhere" who needs help. It's a member of their own family. And suddenly that makes all the difference in the world. Suddenly those photos of beds and shoes and mold become personal. And almost all of us would move mountains to help our own family.

These needs MUST become personal to us in some way, whether we adopt or host or give financially or pray fervently for one child until they are adopted. These photos need to sink in at the heart level...not to depress us and leave us unable to breathe...but to PROPEL us forward, to COMPEL us for the sake of love.

This needs to become reality in our minds and hearts and lives. Why? Why should we even give up our time and energy and money and focus to someone on the other side of town or the other side of the world? Why would we bother when their situation has nothing at all to do with us??

Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. Hebrews 13:3 9 (ESV)

Why do we avoid reality, when we are called to enter into it? God has called us. Do we need any other reason?

I close with a Casting Crowns' song. And OH how I pray that we GET THIS!

But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ

Look at This Precious Asian Prince!

2011-08-19T23:19:00.000-04:00

I was contacted today by someone who is very much wanting this little guy to find his forever family. She is advocating for him, and I agreed to place him here for YOU to pray for. To find out more specific information (as I'm unsure what specific information can be posted here), please CLICK ON THIS LINK. From what I understand, time is of the essence, as he is now too old for the baby house and may be transferred to another facility. Please pass this along to anyone interested in adopting this little guy. He's in TAIWAN too! :) (We LOVE Taiwan and its beautiful people!)

Please pray, proclaiming Scriptures over his life. It is GOD ALONE Who is Father to the fatherless and who places the lonely in families. Join us in claiming that for this child. In GOD ALONE do orphans find mercy.

One Reason

2011-08-18T21:51:00.000-04:00

Here's just one tiny reason why I'm so glad that we adopted...

It's the little things that make life sweet, isn't it? The other day when I was baking biscuits, I turned around to find our daughter intent on watching the biscuits grow in the oven. Every now and then, she'd turn back to meet my eye and smile...followed shortly by "Mmmmmmmmm!"

It's at moments like this when time just stands still for a few seconds, and I stop long enough to let it hit me again: I ALMOST COULD HAVE MISSED THIS. There are at least a hundred good reasons why we didn't "need" to adopt. There are at least a hundred good reasons why we could have seen the photo of this little girl, said a quick prayer and moved on without ever stopping long enough to ask, "Lord, is it ME that You want to be Your Hands and Feet here?"

And sometimes it hits me. We almost could have missed this. That thought always makes me close my eyes and clench my jaw. Oh how I would have hated to have missed this!!

And the amazing part is that we may have been the ones who stepped forward to bring our daughter into our home, and we've heard many times how "lucky" she is...but WE are the ones who have been blessed. There are no words to describe the immense blessing this little one has been in our lives. No human words.

On the day I snapped this photo, I was thinking about how thankful I was that she was relishing in the pure joy of watching biscuits rise. A child should have little joys like that...
The smell of clean sheets on her bed
The sound of Mama's voice when she wakes up scared in the middle of the night
The feel of Daddy's whiskers on her cheek when she gets goodnight kisses
The taste of her favorite foods
The feel of her favorite blanket
The smell of dinner cooking on the stove
The smell of clean clothes (with matching bows, of course!)
The familiarity of this little place called home

The little things that we take for granted are the very things that children lie awake in their orphanage beds and wish for, pray for, cry for.

Will we have the courage to ask (again and again), "Lord, is it ME You want to use as Your Hands and Feet to meet the needs of these children?"

Doing Nothing

2011-08-12T23:06:00.000-04:00

Deuteronomy 27:19 tells us that God commands us not to "distort the justice due an alien, orphan, and widow." (NASB)

"So to deprive the fatherless of justice doesn't simply mean that you deny them a proper hearing in court. It means not welcoming them into your home, not helping them when they are cold and hungry, not listening when they cry out. In other words, the sure way to deprive the poor of the justice due them is to do nothing!" ---The Fields of the Fatherless, by C. Thomas Davis

And yet that is what most of us do, isn't it? We know about the plight of orphans. We read the statistics. We see the faces. We hear the stories. And yet we somehow can go to sleep at night without giving it much thought. We simply DO NOTHING.

It's not enough to read about it and agree. It's not even enough to have adopted or participated in some form of orphan ministry in the past and think we're "in the clear." This is something God Himself commands us to do...to make sure we do not distort the justice due an orphan.

God didn't say it just once. The Bible mentions the importance of caring for orphans many times. Why is it that something God repeats all throughout His Scriptures is so very easily overlooked?

If the coach of the most respected and successful team in all of history stopped one day to lean over and give his "secrets" to success, wouldn't all the coaches want to listen and take notes? If the most successful business owner in the world were to write a book giving the exact formula for success, wouldn't that book sell millions of copies?

And here in our hands, we hold the Living Book written by the God we desire to serve. And tucked away in the book of James, we find a gold nugget...a prized jewel. Here, we have the God of the Universe giving His description of what HE HIMSELF defines as pure and faultless religion. I can picture all of His followers saying, "Oh, I want to know what Your definition of pure and faultless religion is! I want to know so that I can offer that up to you! Is it a sacrifice of great money that You want from me? Is it going to church twice a week? Is it tithing 10 percent plus an offering? Is it becoming a pastor or missionary? What oh what is it, Lord, that You define as pure and faultless religion?? Tell me Your secret, Lord!"

James 1:27 says, "Pure and faultless religion is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress." (NIV) Think about it... The God we worship...the very one we desire to please and love and worship takes the time to give us HIS definition of "pure and faultless religion." And what do we do?

Many times, we simply do nothing.

It's that depraved indifference. Indifference to the lives of orphans because they aren't in our own homes. Out of sight, out of mind. Indifference to the God who gave us His own definition of what He accepts as pure and faultless religion.

I am beginning to pray some very bold prayers. One of them is for God to raise up many people who will shake off that depraved indifference. Ones who simply cannot just "do nothing."

Playing Church

2011-08-08T23:27:00.000-04:00

Perhaps you have heard of Amy Carmichael, the Irish missionary to India. She once had a vision that she wrote about in an essay titled "My Brother's Blood Crieth." She talks of the church sitting in circles making daisy chains while the lost blinded people of the world drop off a nearby cliff. Nobody leaves the circle to go help the falling people. In fact, the screams of the falling men and women are an irritation to those making their Christian daisy chains. (Read the whole essay here if you've never seen it.) I read that when Amy Carmichael sent this essay to the church back home, they were very upset. Nobody wanted to be accused of what she was implying.

But it ~~was~~ is the truth.

I could go in a million different directions with this, but I am choosing one path that is very dear to my heart...

Orphans.

There once was a boy who had been in an orphanage for 6 years. Six years. Let that number penetrate your mind...

Six years without a mama or daddy to tuck him in bed at night.

Six years without a mama or daddy to hug him and tell him everything is okay.

Six years without enough nutrition for a growing boy.

Six years without his own Christmas stocking, his own Easter basket, his own stuffed animal.

Six years of flus, colds, hurts that nobody had time to tenderly care for.

Six years of lying in bed alone every night and wondering if one day...maybe...someone would love him.

Six years for an orphan must feel like an eternity.

So, this boy had been an orphan for 6 years. Sometime during those 6 years, he went to America on a hosting program for orphans. He spent 5 weeks in a Christian home, visited their church, met their Christian friends, and learned of their God. At the end of the 5 weeks, he returned to his home country and never got word that anyone wanted to adopt him. He lay in bed, knowing that some of his friends who had been hosted were now being adopted. What in the world went through his head? Do we dare even want to slip our feet into his shoes and try to imagine how he felt?

And, no matter how wonderful his experience was in America, he was again back in his orphanage with the knowledge that he was not adopted by his forever family. Then, some time later, he was given the opportunity again to travel to American on another hosting experience. Again, he spent 5 weeks with a host family and had a tremendous time. He visited their church, met their Christian friends, learned again of this great God. But again, he had to leave after the 5 weeks and return to his life at the orphanage. And, again, he was not adopted.

Let me interject a couple of points I want to be clear about...

**Is the hosting program at fault? NO! They are WONDERFUL! I very much line up with what they are doing and, in fact, have contacted one such hosting agency to see if I can work alongside them. Hosting programs are really amazing ways of bringing these precious children into Christian homes, and the adoption rates are very high in these programs. It's all GOOD....it's better than good...it's RIGHT. The hosting program is laying special bricks in this huge wall of orphan ministry. They are using their bricks in amazing ways, and the wall NEEDS these brick layers to coordinate the hosting programs.

**Is the host family at fault? NO! Perhaps they were too old to adopt...or their health wouldn't allow it...or they didn't meet the income requirements for adoption...or whatever the reason. Sometimes the door closes, not allowing certain people to adopt, through no fault of their own. Sometimes being a host family is a key brick being placed in the wall of orphan ministry. The wall NEEDS host families willing to bring these children into their homes, teach them about Jesus and advocate for forever families for them.

But, today as I was praying in my secret place, the thought of those daisy chains came to mind. Think about this for just a moment and try to keep your mind open and your defenses at ease... How many churches did this child visit? At least 2. How many Christians were in those churches? Let's say they were even smallish churches...we could guess at least 200 Christians. How many Christian families did this child encounter on his 2 trips to America, with visits to friends' houses, church events, etc? I cannot even guess, but we know it's many.

With all my heart, and without any mean tinge in what I'm saying, I want to simply ask of myself and any Christian who is reading this: Where is the church? Where are the ones who will rise up and honestly say, "Here am I, Lord...use me"? Where are the Christians who will enter into this orphan's pain as if it's their own pain...the ones who will not rest until he is in a forever family...the ones who will open their own homes and be the Hands and Feet of Jesus that we so love to sing about and preach about and talk about over coffee?

Please don't get me wrong. I've been repenting my own sins in this area, and I'm GRIEVED! Where in the world is the church??

We are busy making daisy chains. We are making sure our worship music goes off without a hitch. We are polishing up our sermons and lessons. We are going to camps, workshops, seminars, and retreats to follow God. We are busy with Christian aerobics classes, potlucks, classes and lock-ins. We are reading many books, memorizing many Scriptures, and debating Creation -vs- Evolution. We are so busy for God. So busy that when an orphan walks right into our church building, we entertain him with music and send him away without ever once entering into his pain and asking ourselves, "Is it ME, Lord? Is it my home you want to place him into?"

James 2:16 says, "If one of you says to him, 'Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?"

Matthew 25:40 says, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me'."

How are we missing this???

We are busy making daisy chains.

Then I saw, like a little picture of peace, a group of people under some trees with their backs turned towards the ravine. They were making daisy chains. Sometimes when a piercing shriek cut the quiet air and reached them, it disturbed them and they thought it was a rather crude noise. And if one of their group started up and wanted to go and do something to help, then all the others would pull that one down. "Why should you get so excited about it? You must wait for a definite call to go! You haven't finished your daisy chain yet. It would be really selfish," they said, "to leave us to finish the work alone." (excerpt from Amy Carmichael's essay).

How much is a life worth? HOW MUCH IS A SOUL WORTH?

FORGIVE US, LORD! These are YOUR children, and we act as though it's an option to care for them. These orphans have now heard of You through their precious host families, but do they know that You are the Father to the fatherless? Do they know that You set the lonely in families? Do they know that it is OUR hands and feet that you use to place them into families? Are these orphans experiencing this group of Christians actually DOING what You want them to do...to love them as You loved us? You adopted us through great suffering. Are we too busy making daisy chains to be willing to do as You did?

Or are we merely playing church?

Dumb daisy chains. Pointless daisy chains that will be gone tomorrow.

Oh how my heart is grieved! Lord, forgive us. Forgive me.

I will close with this quote from the book In the Arena, by Isobel Kuhn. "It was clearly my duty. I have heard some say that the need is not the call. I do not understand that. An obvious need is a call in any branch of human life. The Good Samaritan did not need a special Bible verse miraculously shining upon him to indicate that it was God's Will he help the poor fellow who had fallen among thieves. Where common sense clearly points out a duty, that is the voice of God. We do not need any other, provided a higher duty is not claiming us."

Remembering Gotcha Day

2011-08-03T23:39:00.002-04:00

Exactly 2 years ago, we were in the orphanage in Taiwan. Here's the very first memory I have of our youngest daughter. We followed the case worker off of the elevator, and there was our pint-size princess playing with some toys. They told her to wave to "Mama and Baba," and I snapped this first picture.

Ours was not the "Gotcha Day" you dream about. Our daughter had changed "homes" 3 times, and there we were to uproot her once again. She cried a pitiful cry when we first held her. It was a very long and exhausting day for all of us. She and Daddy took a much needed nap in the hotel room that evening.

But oh what a difference a family makes! Look at this munchkin now. Can you tell she's a happy girl?! Oh yes, she knows she is LOVED and cherished! And top that all off with some cute bows, and there you have the princess of our domain...

This morning (which is night time in Taiwan), I was thinking about how at that moment 2 years ago, our daughter was spending her very last night in an orphanage. Her last night without a Mama and Daddy. Her last night alone, with nobody to rock her to sleep if she had a bad dream. Her last night as an orphan. There's such beauty in seeing a child go from orphan to daughter and heir in one amazing moment in time!

And as my mind pondered the depth of that, I found a sickening feeling also rise to the surface. What about all the others? What about those who will go to sleep tonight crying in their pillows because they want a mom and dad? What about those who are still waiting for their forever family to come get them? What about those who are getting ready to age out of the orphanage and will soon find themselves with no job (and nobody willing to give them a job), no food, no home, no hope?

What about Oleg?

This precious boy finds himself back in his life as an orphan after a wonderful summer hosting program in the United States. What is he thinking? What is he looking forward to? What did he eat today? Are his sheets clean and fresh? Did anybody say good morning when he got out of bed?

My mind visits him over and over. A mixture of smiles and tears floods me as I remember him.

His first Happy Meal...

His first ice-cream-sundae-building party... Look at that SMILE!!! He helped me set everything up for the ice cream event, and he wanted to keep it a surprise for the other children. He kept saying to me (as if we had the most scrumptious secret in the world that he could hardly wait to share with everyone): "ICE CREAM!!" I had the very best time experiencing this alongside him. (And, by the way, he helped me clean the whole mess up afterward too...without me ever asking for help! He's a very sweet boy and a big helper!) Did you expect that?

His first birthday party...

His first trip to buy new shoes...

And quite possibly his fist time to pretend to be a fighter pilot...

Look at that face. Imagine the breath he breathes and the dreams he dreams and the hopes he dares to hope when he's alone in that bed in the orphanage. THIS IS THE FACE of just one of the 143 million orphans out there that is still praying, hoping, pleading to his Heavenly Father to please send him a forever family. He's not a statistic. He's a living, breathing, real boy named Oleg.

As I remember so fondly our Gotcha Day with our daughter, I also long to go far beyond that. I yearn to be God's instrument to help place many of these treasures into their forever families.

1) PRAY that God will indeed place the lonely in families, as His Word says. We have that Word, and we need to boldly proclaim it!
2) TRUST that He will be faithful to do as His Word says.
3) BE WILLING AND AVAILABLE to be used by Him. He places the lonely in families, and WE are His Hands and Feet. Are WE willing to be the family He chooses for one of these precious treasures? Or are we too busy, too comfortable, too afraid?

We are the Bride of Christ, and He has left these little ones in our care. One day, I believe, we will have to give an answer to Him for what we did or didn't do for His children. What we do to the least of these, we do to HIM. That's quite sobering if you truly believe He means what He says.

** If you want to read more about Oleg or other orphans who are still awaiting forever families, visit the New Horizon site.

Meet sweet Oleg

2011-07-22T09:20:00.007-04:00

Of all the orphans I've introduced on this blog, this is the one that has most moved me. WHY? Because I've met him. I've had dinner with him. I've laughed with him. I've cried for him. In other words, to some degree, I've entered into his life. It is one thing to read the statistics and to see the photos, but it is another thing to actually meet an orphan face-to-face and know that they are soon returning to orphanage life.

Some of our friends are hosting Oleg through the New Horizons program this summer. If you'd like to read more about New Horizons, please visit THEIR SITE.

Some of the orphans who have been hosted are going to be adopted by their host families or by friends of the host families. Others, like Oleg, have not yet had someone step forward to adopt them for a variety of different reasons. These particular orphans are now on a list, and YOU can consider them for adoption. Even if you feel you cannot adopt, please PRAY for them by name. A photo listing can be found at THIS LINK.

And because Sir Oleg is so special to my heart, I'm highlighting him here on my blog and will advocate for him until his forever family steps up to adopt him. So, as I wrote in my last post, we commit this to God.

1) PRAY that God, who is Father to the fatherless, will place Oleg into his forever family.

2) TRUST that it is God alone who can place the lonely in families.

3) BE WILLING AND AVAILABLE to be the human hands and feet of Jesus for Oleg. Be willing to be used by Him as the family where He places Oleg. We are His Body. He uses US to set the lonely into families.

"Lord, we bring precious Oleg to You. You, God, are Father to the fatherless. You know this child inside and out. You created his life and have good plans for him. We ask you to be faithful to Your Word to place the lonely into families. We trust You alone to do this. And if You want to use OUR hands and feet and home, please show us. We are willing to do whatever You ask us to do. We pray all this in Jesus' Name, trusting fully that You will answer in Your absolutely perfect time."

The following is Oleg's photo and short bio. If you are interested in adopting Oleg, please contact New Horizons.

Oleg: 11 years old, loves both outside and inside play. He is good at puzzles, legos, games, drawing, crafts, and foosball. He also loves outside play such as soccer, swimming, Frisbee, and he just learned how to ride a bike. He is a very persistent boy when it comes to learning new things. While learning to ride a bike, he was not reckless, but certainly not afraid. It seemed he was aware that there might be pain involved but that was what it would take to learn this new skill. He is very helpful and does things without being asked such as bringing in groceries, getting little children in and out of their car seats and opening doors. He enjoys playing with children of all ages and gets along well with our children from two up to twelve. He has a very good appetite and has never refused any food we've served him, and likes to help cook. We do not have any pets currently, but he seems very comfortable around the dogs that belong to our various friends. He has really bonded with our 9 year old son (they seem almost like twins) and just like all boys, they can get excited and a little loud, however Oleg is usually easily redirected when we request they settle down. He does not talk a lot, but is beginning to open up more and talk some, however I am fairly certain he understands a good deal of English. We have had no problems communicating with him. He seems interested in the bible, both audio and print. He seemed shy at first, but after that he has had lots of smiles, and enjoys trying to new things.

And, while we have a particular child in mind, I ask you to watch this video again. We simply cannot afford depraved indifference a day longer.

What Can We DO?

2011-07-17T18:22:00.002-04:00

I've been away from my blog for a bit, spending some weeks in another state taking care of my mom after back surgery. I'm thinking that every person should sometimes get out of their normal routines, familiar surroundings, comfortable ruts. There's much to be said about the perspective it somehow brings...the new lens it sometimes slips over dull eyes. Ahh...I see it now....as if somehow being away from the familiar allows you to crest a mountain and see a view you couldn't see before.

One of many things that I encountered during my time away was a clarity about orphan ministry. While I was out of town, some orphans from Ukraine came to spend a month in our little town. Some of the children went to the homes of some of our friends. I found myself away for this big "homecoming," and all I could think was, "What can I DO?" I wanted to be there, to hug the children, to take meals to the families. But I was many hundreds of miles away, so DOING something wasn't possible.

Seems I've found myself in that boat lately more often than I can say. And in the what-can-I-do desperation that my busy heart can sink into all too easily, a still quiet voice reminds me that it is not me but HE who is in control. Yes, Lord, but aren't I Your hands and feet?? I've always found this to be a fine line. But clarity was given to me in the peaceful pools of thought that I waded in while away from my usual surroundings.

The specific larger dilemma that raked my very soul was this: There are some children who are hosted for the summer orphan hosting program who are then adopted by the hosting family. There are some children who are adopted by another family other than the hosting family. But then there are those who return to the orphanage and are not adopted. They get to experience a family but then have to leave it behind and go back to the grim reality of life without a loving family. And this thing hit me smack in the face (again). I began to dip my toes ever so fearfully into their shoes for just a tiny second. Not wanting the full onslaught of pain, I only allowed one foot to cautiously press into the orphan's shoe for a moment. And I didn't like how it felt...I pulled back and wanted to run the other direction. Lord, I cannot DO anything! This hurts too much to try to put myself in their shoes if I then cannot DO anything to help!!

As if He finally had me exactly where He wanted me (hurting for the orphan but completely helpless at what to do), He then began to pour His light into my soul. While cleaning out one of my mom's rooms at her house, I ran across a book about the power of proclaiming God's Word out loud. The Holy Spirit sunk this deep into my spirit. His Word is powerful, and it cannot return to Him without accomplishing what it says it will do. Like a floodlight, this flowed over me until I was beside myself with HOPE. If I proclaim His Word, He will do what His Word says.

Immediately I thought of the orphans. And I remembered Psalm 68:5-6. His Word says that it is HE who is a Father to the fatherless. It is HE who places the lonely in families. Suddenly, the weight of this burden lifted off my shoulders. There in my hand I held the key. HIS WORD is powerful and cannot return to Him without accomplishing what it says. I began to proclaim Psalm 68:5-6, with the specific names of orphans. "It is YOU, Lord, Who is _______'s father. It is you who places _________ into his forever family!" As I began to proclaim this, the weight was no longer on my shoulders but rather in HIS HANDS. I was resting in Him to be faithful to His Word. My job was to pray fervently and with full faith for Him to place these specific children into forever families. It was HE who would accomplish this, not me.

And the fine line? Well, we can go too far with this. We can slip into "praying" about everything but never stepping up to let Him use our own hands and feet. After all, HOW does He place the lonely in families? He uses human families! He knows what family is best and right for each child...HE ALONE KNOWS. And it is our place to be open...to be willing...for Him to use our hands and feet and home if He so chooses.

So, the lens focused clearly, and I could see what I hadn't seen as clearly before... I believe we have a 3-fold job here:
1) PRAY His Word back to Him, asking Him to place the lonely in families (praying specifically for each child you hear about).
2) TRUST that He alone can place these children in their forever families. If we truly believe that He is capable of doing this, we won't be wringing our hands in oh-man-what-in-the-world-is-going-to-happen. We simply take Him at His Word and rest in HIM to do it. He alone knows His Will for each child.
3) BE AVAILABLE AND WILLING to be the human hands and feet He wants to use to care for these children.

And I always love what Mary Beth Chapman once said: "Be willing to go beyond easy."

Both Hands

2011-06-13T08:11:00.000-04:00

"Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us." --James 1:27

We've been working at getting the word out about orphans. But what about widows?

I recently was introduced to an organization called BOTH HANDS. Here is their mission statement (copied from their site): Both Hands is a non-profit organization with a two-fold mission. We serve widows in a very practical way in our communities, while raising funds to help willing families adopt

To see this in action, please visit the video at the top of this blog: "Getting Liam and Keane." This is a family who is in the process of adopting 2 boys from China. One of the fundraisers they had was a Both Hands project, where they and their friends were sponsored by other people to work for a day on a widow's home. All the raised funds went to their adoption, and the sweet widow lady was blessed with many people who worked on her home (cleaned, painted, etc). The video will touch your heart.

What a WONDERFUL way to bless both orphans and widows at the same time! If you know of anyone who is trying to raise funds for their adoption, please pass along this information.

On a Mission to Unite Twins!

2011-06-05T16:43:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine passed this information along to me... It's an amazing true story of a family who adopted a little girl from China. Their daughter mourned significantly, and they soon discovered that she had left her twin sister in China. The adoptive family had no idea that she had a twin. For several reasons, they are unable to adopt their daughter's twin, but we are all in prayer that someone will adopt her and will allow the girls to maintain contact as they grow through the years. The adoptive family lives in Wisconsin, so it would be extra wonderful if a Wisconsin family could adopt the sister. I ask you to pass along this information to your circle of friends. Perhaps someone reading this will be the bridge between these 2 precious sisters. PLEASE FOLLOW THIS LINK to read the story. The blog post is titled "Left Behind."

Update on Kirill!!

2011-05-27T07:56:00.000-04:00

In April, I asked you to pray for Kirill. In March, when his adoptive family went to court for the final ruling, the judge denied their adoption request on the basis that Kirill has Down Syndrome and would be better off in an institution instead of a family. We knocked on Heaven's doors for this little guy, and God was faithful to His Word to indeed be the One Who places the lonely in families! Just a few days ago, the court overturned the judge's decision, and Kirill will soon be going home with his forever family. Please check their blog to keep updated. This is going to be a sweet story to follow.

God is good!

5/5/5 Warrior Project

2011-05-15T22:01:00.000-04:00

Reece's Rainbow is celebrating their 5th anniversary this year. This is the organization that featured our youngest daughter on their list of waiting children 2 years ago. They seek to find forever families for children with Down Syndrome (as well as other special needs) before the children are sent to mental institutions. They have found forever families for 500+ children!

You can get involved in their current project. GO TO THIS LINK to learn more about their 5/5/5 Warrior Project, which is seeking to raise awareness and funds for their 5-year-old waiting children (the ones most in danger of being transferred to mental institutions). YOU can be a warrior for a specific child and make an eternal difference.

UPDATE on Vladislav!

2011-05-09T22:29:00.000-04:00

A sweet wonderful family stepped forward to host Vladislav! :) Now, they have only a few short days to get all paperwork and such done. Please pray for them as they handle all details. And pray for all the necessary funds for them to host him.

Prayer is the big work!

Vladislav Needs a Host Family for the summer!

2011-05-08T22:32:00.000-04:00

Meet Vladislav. He lives in a rough orphanage and is awaiting a family in the US to host him this summer through New Horizons. He is the only one left who does not yet have a host family. READ HIS STORY HERE and please pass it along to your circle of friends.

When they took the photo above, he didn't know how to smile....he's never had a reason to smile. :(

Pray for Vladislav to be chosen by a host family. He has a grant of $500, and someone just doubled it, so he already has $1000 towards the fee of $2500 for hosting him. Many times families are able to raise the funds very quickly for this, so if you feel God leading you, STEP OUT in faith. Please pass this information along to others. He has just a handful of days until he will miss his chance to come to the US for the summer.

You can host an orphaned child

2011-05-08T15:26:00.000-04:00

Have you heard of New Horizons for Children, Inc.? We've had friends who have hosted orphaned children through their agency, and I've only heard GOOD things about New Horizons.

They are in need of host families. You can visit this link to learn more.

If you've never heard of New Horizons, here's a brief description from their site:

New Horizons for Children is a non-profit, 501(c)3, Christian ministry. Our goal is to identify children in orphanages in other countries who would benefit from and most likely be able to adapt to a Christian family environment in the USA. We aim to teach English, prayer time, cultural differences and how a loving family life can and should be. This one example, may well be, the only example of a functional family in these children's lives. Because of the mission of our program, all our hosting families must be of the Christian faith and attending a Christian church. We are a non-denominational organization, but we are all Christians, serving one God and following Jesus Christ as His son, and as our personal Savior. Teaching and modeling these Christian principles is a primary goal for our hosting families.

Carrington's Amazing Progress

2011-05-03T22:36:00.000-04:00

I want to introduce you to another angel. This time, the story is an adoption success story that will touch your heart.

Meet Carrington. When her mom and dad left the orphanage with Carrington in arms, she looked like this:

But when they took off the layers of clothes to change her diaper, this is what they saw:

Little Carrington was 3 years old and weighed 11 pounds. You can imagine the horror they felt as they saw how malnourished their daughter was. When they landed in the U.S., they headed straight for the hospital. You can read the story here.

It has been a long road, but sweet Carrington is finally now HOME from the hospital and is filling out beautifully. You can see the latest photos and keep up with Carrington's progress at her mom's blog.

Carrington was so blessed to have a forever family who adopted her before she died. Many children die in institutions because they don't have a Mama or Daddy to care for them, feed them, get them medical care when they most need it.

My daughter just did a presentation about a missionary today. The missionary was living in China many years ago and was unable to leave her post because she was caring for 200 orphans. She asked God to send her a husband. But, no husband came. Later in her life, she said something like, "I believe God answers prayers. I believe God DID call a man to come to China to marry me. But that man didn't listen!" We all laughed at her sense of humor, but it got me thinking...

How many children are waiting in orphanages and institutions right now because the people who are being called to adopt them simply haven't obeyed? How many people have had their hearts tugged and burdened to adopt...and then walked away for any number of reasons? This is not a guilt trip. In fact, please don't make any decision out of guilt. But, what if instead of listing our reasons why we cannot do something...what if we simply prayed, "God, do you want me to do this? I'm available. I'm open. I have no plans but your plans."

Do I believe that everyone is called to adopt? NO. I've heard stories of children who wished they had never been adopted because their adoptive parents adopted them out of guilt or other wrong reasons. So, NO, I don't believe every family is called to adopt. We all play different roles...some adopt, some foster, some give financially to make it possible for other families to adopt, some pray for children awaiting adoption. EVERY ROLE IS IMPORTANT.

But my challenge is: go beyond easy. What would happen if you just opened it up, laying all reservations, excuses, fears aside and said sincerely, "God, I'm here. WHATEVER you want me to do, I'll do."

Imagine...

Miss Joanie

2011-04-21T15:01:00.000-04:00

Joanie
Date of Birth: July 2006
Gender: Female
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Brown

Lookie at this little gal all dolled up in polka dots and glasses! Miss Joanie is waiting for her forever family to find her. She needs prayer warriors to faithfully pray for her. Remember, she has no Mama and no Daddy and probably nobody at all praying for her. This is where WE come in. You, right there at your computer screen can lift this little girl up to Him in prayer. Far from an inferior role, PRAYER is actually the big work. It is not us who place the lonely in families...it is HIM (Psalm 68:6).

Just today we were reading about how Joshua stayed in the valley to lead the Israelites into battle, while Moses went up to the top of the mountain to pray. Moses lifted his hands and prayed. While his hands were raised, the Israelites were winning. But when he dropped his hands, the Israelites began to lose the battle. Moses couldn't keep his arms raised because they grew tired, so Aaron and Hur held up his arms until the battle was won.

THAT is what we do in prayer. We may not be the family who adopts little Joanie, but we can sure play a significant role in bringing her home. Prayer is the big work. It is the lifting up of our arms, just like Moses did. Battles are won in prayer.

If you stumble across this blog and find yourself reading this, please know that it's not by accident. YOU are a wonderful part of Joanie's story (or any of the children featured on here who are awaiting a forever family). YOU can pray as Moses did. You can print Joanie's picture and place it somewhere where you see if often...and commit to praying for God's perfect Will in her life.

You can advocate for Joanie by sharing my blog address with your friends and family and church prayer groups. Joanie cannot speak up for herself, and we have the amazing responsibility of being her voice in our own circle of influence. If we could only see the potential of many of us across the globe coming together in prayer for these little ones!

A fun part of committing to praying for a child is watching as God moves in a family's heart to adopt them. At this link, you can check to see if the child you are praying for has had a family step forward to commit to adopt them. Keep praying for them!

If you'd like to donate to Joanie's adoption fund, you can do that here.

CALLING ALL PRAYER WARRIORS!!!!

2011-04-04T06:06:00.000-04:00

Last year we helped advocate for this little munchkin. We spoke to friends who prayed about adopting Kirill, but the door did not open. Soon after, another family stepped forward to adopt him. Their adoption process has been very long and rough. Recently, the judge ruled that they could not adopt Kirill, simply because he has Down Syndrome. They are appealing that ruling and are seeking prayer warriors to rally together for their cause. It is GOD who sets the lonely in families...God and God alone. So, please join me in lifting up in faith-filled prayer precious Kirill and this family who loves him so dearly.

I urge you to visit their blog to read their story and join them in urgent prayer. On their blog, scroll down to their blog post titled "Kirill's Story."

Pray for Ellis

2011-03-19T14:21:00.002-04:00

Here's another sweet pea who is HIV+ and in need of a forever family. Pray along with us!

Ellis

Boy, Born April 7, 2006

TRANSFERRED TO OLDER CHILD BOARDING SCHOOL

From an adopting parent who visited his new orphanage in March 2011: "One of the days we went to visit our daughter, her groupa was getting ready to go outside. Ellis came up to me for help getting his coat on as the caretakers were helping other kids. He chatted with me and was very inquisitive. He did NOT hug or hang on me but behaved completely appropriately with me as I tied his hood and helped with his coat. He loved talking to me (even though I couldn't understand a lot of it) and his speech sounds very clear. I saw him several other times and he is a little ham! He made a lego house for me and tried to get my attention through a glass door by dancing for me. One of the days we were there, he was in trouble and was sitting in timeout. Although he was crying, he sat nicely and waited to be let out of timeout. After his timeout, he went to play. He seems to be a very sweet, smart little boy and I know he is ready for his family to come and take him home!"

He was observed wearing glasses sometimes and doesn't seem to mind wearing them.

The orphanage he is in seems to be a good one for children aged 3-7. The groupas are not separated by age. The kids do a variety of work. They color pictures and do sewing projects to work on fine motor skills. The children play outside a lot. The children appear to be well-fed and anyone who needs medication receives it. They also have a sensory therapy room, a physical therapy room, a music room and an art room. There are about 5 groupas in the orphanage, with about 9-10 children in each group.

For more info and parent support on adopting and raising a child with HIV, please visithttp://www.projecthopeful.org/

Pray for Sarah

2011-03-15T12:28:00.002-04:00

Did you know that children who are HIV+ are able to live long lives with the help of medication?

There are many children who are HIV+ due to mother-to-child transmission during birth. These children often await a forever family. Many never receive families because people are unaware of the facts. To learn more about the medical aspects of living with a child with HIV, go to THIS BLOG post.

To learn more about adopting and parenting a child with HIV, visit Project Hopeful's site.

And for all the prayer warriors out there, please pray for Sarah. She is one of many children with HIV who are awaiting adoption. Look at that face! :) Pray that her forever family will step up to adopt her and give her access to the medicine she needs to live.

Sarah

Date of Birth: October 2005

Lively child, cheerful character, always in good spirits. Accurate, loves beautiful clothes and playing dress-up. She takes pride in her appearance. She likes to help her nannies set the table for dinner. She takes this job very seriously and she wears an apron and a cap and puts everything in it's correct place – fork on the left, knife on the right. She loves to draw and is very artistic. Her drawings often depict a house, a mom and a dad. She hopes that her dream will come true.

The only health information that we have about Sarah at this time is that she has a "serious incurable disease". She is listed on the HIV page and also on the Other Angels page in case it is Hepatitis C or something else. Please be open to health conditions if committing to adopt Sarah as we may not be able to get medical records before committment in this region.

Sarah may be at risk of being transferred.

Pains of Pruning

2011-03-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

The pruning blade has been set on my life. I prayed for Him to break me and rebuild me the way HE chooses. That is not an easy prayer to pray, and it's even harder standing up under the blade. It cuts into the innermost parts of myself, revealing things I'd rather keep hidden under the layers. It takes out from under me any and all human "props" upon which I lean too heavily. It exposes and wipes out any and all excuses. It puts my feet on a path not often trod...bumpy, winding, steep. It drains even the good things and leaves in its place gaping holes. Holes. To empty me of ME so that He can fill me with HIM.

The pruning process hurts, but it should be our DESIRE...to be so emptied of self that we can overflow with Him. Remember His conditions for being His disciple:

1) Deny yourself

2) Take up your cross

3) Follow Him

I'm in step #1. Struggling daily with denying myself. I find it quite simple to deny myself some things, but the pruning blade cuts deeper into things that aren't as easy. What about denying myself the right to feel hurt, to be appreciated, to be understood, to be right? What about denying myself all the well-laid plans I have, the desires I naturally aspire toward, the dreams that lure me, the comfort that beckons me? Denying myself requires humility that I simply do not posses in the natural.

Though I'm not familiar with Catholic prayers and may have never run across this prayer in my daily life, the Lord graciously brought it to my attention. My friend who was giving a speech about orphan ministry quoted this prayer. It stuck with me. I read it over and over. I began to pray it. I printed it out so that I could be reminded of it daily...

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart,Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
Fromthe fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I,provided that I may become as holy as I should…

And, in my friend's speech, she added:
And that I may love you, Jesus,
With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
And that I may love my neighbor as myself.

The only way to make this reality in my life is to be placed ever so lovingly under the pruning blades of the Master. Let everything in me be pruned. "Empty me of me so that I can be filled with You."

Alexander's family has found him!

2011-03-06T16:07:00.001-05:00

Remember when I asked you to pray for little Alexander's forever family to find him? Alexander had already been transferred to a mental institution and was in desperate need of a family. Well, his forever family has stepped up to adopt him! THANK YOU for praying for him. And please continue to pray because there about a zillion steps in between step #1 and actually traveling to bring him home. I encourage you to follow Alexander's family's blog and pray along with them. You can also find a place on their blog to donate to Alexander's adoption fund. You can share in the precious work of bringing God's children into their forever families. Pray this little guy home!

I Will Follow

2011-03-02T17:07:00.001-05:00

I Refuse

2011-03-01T08:01:00.000-05:00

An Orphan's Story, Part 6

2011-02-28T13:42:00.000-05:00

In August of 2009, we found ourselves on an airplane headed to Taiwan. And what surprises God had planned for us!! Due to bad weather in our city, we were several hours late arriving at our connecting flight in San Francisco. We were running through the airport in the middle of the night. Long story made short: they had already given our seats away because the plane was fully boarded and ready to pull away from the gate by the time we arrived at the counter to give them our tickets. They had to put us in first class, and first class on an international flight was even beyond our wildest expectations!

To get us onto Taiwan time, they served us dinner at 5am (5pm Taiwan time). This was one of the best meals we had on our trip. Notice that in first class, you get real dishes and a tablecloth!

Here is the sun coming up over the ocean, shortly before we arrived in Taiwan the next morning. It was an indescribable feeling to know we were so close to our new daughter!

Taiwan's flag was a pleasant site for our tired eyes.

Our driver took us to our hotel in the middle of Taipei. God blessed us with this sweet man who drove us all over Taiwan and became a dear friend to us.

Taiwan's streets were very confusing to us. There were signs everywhere, and we couldn't read any of them. The hotel encouraged us to take one of the hotel cards with us at all times so that if we ever became lost, we could hand a taxi driver the card that told them to take us back to our hotel. I hadn't even imagined getting lost, but sure enough, we did get turned around every time we left the hotel because all the streets looked similar.

God had another surprise for us. For reasons that were never explained to us, they put us on the executive suite at our hotel but only charged us for a regular room. It was beautiful, and they treated us like royalty. That TV is on a rotating wall so that it can either face the bed or the living area.

Taiwan was breath-taking in its natural beauty. Our driver took us on a day trip to Keelung.

The sites and smells of Taiwan were new and interesting. I'll admit that this photo was taken while trying hard not to breathe in the smell. This was a little shop with dried STUFF everywhere...dried fish, pork, etc. They have little fan things that worked to keep the flies off (but failed).

And then there were delectable things that we STILL crave. This was a passion fruit drink we discovered at a little stand on the street.

Again, God had amazing blessings in store for us. Our driver took us to his apartment in Keelung, and his wife taught us how to make Taiwanese noodles and some other dishes. In this photo, she is cutting squid (which, by the way, our driver bought ALIVE at a roadside fish market just 30 minutes before we ate it!).

This is their apartment. Taiwan is too small and too crowded to have houses, so everyone lives in apartments.

Then the day arrived when our driver took us to the orphanage. It smelled like cleaning solution and was quite nice. This was the first floor where we checked in. They took us in an elevator up to the floor where our daughter was.

When we got off the elevator, the very first thing we saw was our daughter playing with toys on the floor. The caregivers kept saying, "Mama and Baba," and they asked her to wave at us.

The next hour was spent trying to begin the bonding process. They wanted her to get her snack from me, but she was quite uncertain. We tried many things to get into her world, but she was very clear that we were not welcomed. She had grown used to the orphanage, and we were strangers about to turn her world upside down. Have you ever had to do something that you know is best for someone but at the time causes them immense pain? My heart was breaking this day.

She found herself having to say goodbye AGAIN. In her short 3 years of life, she had said goodbye to her birth mother, foster mother and now her favorite caregiver. This was a painful day for her.

They finally put us in a room alone with her in hopes that she'd at least begin to accept us to a small degree. But she was not the least bit interested in us or any of tricks they wanted us to use (food, toys, etc). After 2 hours, they finally asked my husband to pick her up and hold her while she resisted. She cried the most pathetic cry I had ever heard...a cry of complete defeat...a cry that reminded us how helpless she was in this situation. Again, she was having to say goodbye. Again her world was changed without anybody consulting her about it. When she fell asleep crying, they asked our driver to come quickly to take us away from the orphanage before she knew she was leaving. This was very hard on all of us, but it was the only thing we could do.

The next day, she was beginning to come out of her shell just a bit; but for the most part, she would sit with her hair hanging down in her face to avoid eye contact with us. She pulled out all bows we put in her hair and would let her hair cover her face. Her daddy played his guitar for her, and she'd tilt her head slightly to see but wouldn't come out of her little sad world.

Slowly but surely, she began to give us little smiles. We went to get her visa so that she could leave the country. Here she was sitting with her Chinese passport and all her important paperwork. She had no idea what all this meant.

And by the time we left on our plane to go home, she had warmed up significantly. She never flinched as we got on board that huge airplane (and we even left in the middle of a big typhoon!). She was the picture of peace. Here she is asleep in her Daddy's arms on that long flight home. Guess who was the only person on the plane who couldn't sleep??!! (Mama took pictures instead!)

This is the journey of just one orphan. From orphan to cherished daughter by the miracle of ADOPTION!

An Orphan's Story, Part 5

2011-02-25T08:27:00.002-05:00

We stepped out to adopt our daughter, having not a single penny saved for her adoption. We knew we were her family, so we simply relied on God to provide all the funds necessary to bring her home.

Every step of the way, we watched as He provided.

Some of our sweet little friends surprised us by running in a local race and asking their extended family to sponsor them. They donated the money to our adoption

Our local homeschool group put together a Walk-a-Thon to raise money. This was very successful, and we felt very supported to see our friends meet together to walk in support of our adoption.

I could write about many miracles in our adoption journey. One example was the day that we owed a certain amount of money to our home study agency. The check had to be written that day. We didn't know where the money was coming from, but we knew He had promised to provide. We wrote the check, and then just a few hours later found an unexpected check in our mailbox (for almost DOUBLE what we had needed!). This was the way it worked every time we needed to pay for the next step in our adoption. The moment we needed it, God would provide. (If you've never relied on God like this, I will tell you that it's unbelievable how He works when we are trusting Him!)

So, in the meantime, in the midst of doing paperwork (and more and more and more paperwork), we began to learn sign language. With the language issues that we were facing (a child with Down Syndrome as well as having Chinese as her primary language for 3 years), we took on sign language to communicate with her. We practiced all the time and learned the very basic signs so that we could communicate with her.

Her birthday rolled in, and we went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant. We placed her photo album on the table and celebrated her birthday on the other side of the world.

And then, just 2 days after her birthday (and 9 months after we had first seen her photo on Reece's Rainbow), we received what is affectionately known in adoption circles as "the call." Our adoption agency called us to say that all our paperwork was complete and we were invited to fly to Taiwan the following month!

That month flew by, with preparations to travel. Soon, our bags were packed!

I have skipped many details in our adoption journey, but if you are interested in reading the play-by-play version, please feel free to visit the blog we kept during our adoption.

The road from start to finish was littered with trials, tears, frustrations, challenges, enough paperwork to undo our sanity (almost!), and many nights of wondering if our baby was okay on the other side of the world. But in every twist and turn of the journey, HE was faithful. There's something about stepping out onto the thin air of faith that gives new dimension to life.

Our obedience, plus His faithfulness. Psalm 68:5 says He's a Father to the fatherless. The next verse says He places the lonely in families. Remember that we...the Church, His Bride...are HIS BODY. He is a father to the fatherless THROUGH US. He places the lonely in families THROUGH US. It is not enough to simply agree with an Amen. It requires stepping out into His Will for us. The ride is like no other!

Next blog post will cover our amazing trip to the beautiful island of Taiwan...

An Orphan's Story, Part 4

2011-02-18T09:56:00.012-05:00

Our daughter's story would be affected by our obedience on the other side of the globe.

Here's the part of the story that can often be glorified beyond its reality. Some people think that we had this amazing "call" to adopt. Some think we are heroes. Some imagine that we are this amazing family that heard an audible voice of God calling us to adopt. Some believe that we are special. Most people think this was a huge moment in time when we were struck by a lightening-type boom from Heaven showing us a great sign. People tend to think we are different than they are...somehow marked for greatness in a way that others are not.

But the truth is that we are just an ordinary family. In the beginning of our adoption journey, we had no large explosive Heavenly message that zapped us. We eat like you, cry like you, have bills like you, have moments of chaos just like your family probably does. We are a regular plain ol' family.

And our story goes like this...

We were planning an orphan ministry event to raise money for orphans. We didn't have any specific ideas as of yet, but our family and another family wanted to do "something" to help orphans. We began to come up with some ideas for raising money for orphan ministry.

One evening, I got an email from my friend who was helping plan the orphan ministry event. She said she heard of another family planning an event to raise money for orphans (we're now friends with this family...hello, E!). She forwarded me the information to give me some ideas, and that email would be what changed our lives.

But, remember, at the time, we didn't know it was life-altering. This is the part I want you to really understand. I didn't feel an earth-shaking tremble in my being, saying, "This is about to change your life." It was just a normal day (just like you're probably having right now), and I simply did the next thing...I clicked on the link to the orphan ministry site. And there was Reece's Rainbow. It was an organization that finds forever families for orphans. In fact, you can probably see their info on the side bar of my blog right now. Just as you're seeing those faces scroll before your eyes, it was the same for me...nothing more than that...no spine tingles, no booming voice from Heaven.

I simply spent some time looking at the Reece's Rainbow site. The very first child I encountered was a little girl from Taiwan. There was no photo (because apparently Taiwan wanted the photos only released to people seriously considering adoption). So, no cute face drawing me, but still, I read her info. She was 2 years old and had Down Syndrome and some other issues. I emailed my friend back, thanked her for sending me the link...and then jokingly said, "I've found a little girl in Taiwan that I want to adopt." I was kidding...mainly because my husband wasn't ready to adopt...and I had no real plans of adopting this child.

**Here's something I really want to stress... We could have looked at that site, read about the children, said a concerned, "Oh how sad!" and then clicked that little X in the upper right corner and closed out the site forever. There was nothing at all that screamed at us to get involved. Instead, it was a simple CHOICE...a choice to enter into that pain, to not close the page, to look at those children and really begin to let them affect us. It would have been much easier to forget the whole thing and instead find something happier to focus on. We simply chose to enter into the world of these children's hurt and loss. We chose to do what K.P. Yohannan once said: "Lord, break my heart for the things that break Your heart!"

We decided to raise money for several orphans from Reece's Rainbow. We set up a date and time and began to prepare for a simple fundraising event...a big yard sale and raffle. We weren't sure how much this would help orphans, but we simply had to do SOMETHING. I made a project board with information and photos of some of the children from Reece's Rainbow...

In the meantime, my husband and I decided that we'd like to begin to pray about adoption. And we wanted to begin to pray for specific orphans. I emailed the woman who runs Reece's Rainbow and asked her to send some information and photos of orphans for us to pray over. I didn't tell her any specific child we were drawn to. I didn't give her any specifications, except for the size of our family (some countries will only allow you to adopt if you have a small family). We left it wide open for God to choose the children to place on our prayer list.

Guess whose picture was at the top of the page she sent me? Yep...the 2-year-old in Taiwan that I had jokingly said I wanted to adopt. Think about this: out of hundreds of children on the RR site, she sent me the photo of the one child I had read about. Again, there was no big booming voice saying, "HERE'S YOUR CHILD!" Instead, it was a quiet "hmmmm" inside my soul. Those little things that start to give direction once your feet are in motion...(and remember, your feet HAVE to be in motion before you are steered in the right direction...a parked car cannot be steered!).

We printed out the photos of 3 children, taped them to our bathroom mirror and began to pray for them every day. My prayer went something like this: "Lord, please be with these children. Protect them. Love them. Bring their forever families to adopt them. And if WE are one of those forever families, please show us." Keep in mind that we didn't have a single PENNY saved for adoption. This was a step of faith to make ourselves available for adoption.

There were no claps of thunder or volts of electricity that ran through us to show us the way. It was a simple quiet leading. As time went on, this little Asian princess just began to take root in my heart. He was beginning to steer us.

One day, our 3-year-old son was looking at the pictures on the mirror and said, "Mama, I want to adopt that one!" I asked which child. He pointed to the photo you see above, and he said, "I want her because she comes with a phone!" I laughed! It seemed that slowly, God was putting this little girl on our hearts (even though I was pretty sure she didn't come with the phone!).

My husband was still praying for each of the children, but he hadn't mentioned adoption. In fact, he had recently told me he wasn't ready to adopt yet. I chose to stay quiet and let God work in his heart.

One night, my husband and I stayed up late watching a movie together. All day I had felt a heavy pressing in my spirit. I felt it was time to talk about adoption, but I knew my husband wasn't at the same point I was. This time, though, I felt a green light to talk to him. But my flesh really fought. I avoided the subject all day, thinking to myself, "He's not ready! How can I talk to him?" But it sat on me heavily all day. At the end of the movie, the credits were rolling and the song lyrics nearly made me scream: "Say what you need to say!" I headed up to bed, still not saying anything.

Sometimes it's very hard to know if what we are feeling is from our flesh or from God. Sometimes we can misunderstand or mis-hear because we like to hear things we WANT to hear. Feelings cannot always be trusted. Our hearts can deceive us. Having spiritual discernment is so important. I needed Him to show me. I went to bed that night with a heavy spirit, having never talked to my husband about adoption.

These are clues to our direction... When we feel led to do something but then feel heavy and awful when we don't do it...well, let's just say that our spirits won't give us peace until we are walking in the right direction. So all of these things serve as arrows pointing the direction we are supposed to go. We can detect the road map by simply paying attention to the peace we have...or the lack of peace we have...about certain things. It may be a quiet still Voice, but a sheep knows it's Shepherd's Voice...there is peace in following that Voice.

Still, I went to bed with a heavy spirit. About an hour later, I woke up hearing a voice saying, "Tell him now" and I flew into a sitting position. I was still half-asleep, half-awake, somewhere in that disoriented zone. I had no idea if I had heard the voice in my dream or if the voice was in my room. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I felt out of breath. Maybe it was a bad dream. Still, because I had felt so heavy that day, I decided to do all I could do. I prayed. I asked God if it was HE who was asking me to talk to my husband. I prayed, "If you want me to talk to him tonight, please bring him upstairs now." I knew he was downstairs working on something and was planning a very late night. But, I figured that if it was God who wanted me to talk to him, HE could arrange it. A few seconds after that prayer, the hall light came on, and he came up to bed.

My heart was doing double-time at that point. I look back and laugh now about this, but at the time, I was struggling with doing what God was asking me to do. I remember telling Him, "Okay, I'll tell him, but he's not going to like this! He's not ready!" Why do we think we know more than God??

So, as he climbed into bed that night, I rolled over (better to do it right away before I lost my nerve)... He thought I was asleep and was quite surprised to hear me talking. I said, "I think we're supposed to adopt her." Yep, nothing like just coming right to the point! He said, "Who?" I said, "The little girl on the mirror...the one with the phone. I think we're supposed to adopt her." And then I added, "Goodnight!" I think I have issues with communication....especially at 1am.

The next day, my husband called from work. "I cannot get her off my mind. Email Reece's Rainbow and see how we can start the paperwork." This was a modern-day miracle! :)

God works in very mysterious ways! True, I did hear a voice that night in bed...whether a dream or real, and that is not a typical experience. It's never happened before or since. God chooses to work in whatever ways he chooses. Most of the time, it is in quiet moments, what I like to call "hmmmm" moments.

The truth is that we probably would have never had that specific leading if we hadn't FIRST stepped out to become available. Remember, we simply looked at the photos on Reece's Rainbow and then chose to pray for specific orphans. We chose not to look away. We chose to be available. We put our life into "drive" and then asked Him to steer it. We were not special or super-spiritual. We were simply available.

"I believe the Holy Spirit does not guide those who just sit still, waiting for His push. We must expose ourselves to what God is doing in this world, keep a loose hand on the things around us, and be prepared to follow His leading." --Warren Payne

It takes just a simple person (like you and me). It takes a family willing to be available (like your family or mine).

The next step of our journey was the beginning of the faith walk into adoption...

An Orphan's Story, Part 3

2011-02-13T10:20:00.000-05:00

This is perhaps the most difficult part of our daughter's story to share...

For reasons that we don't know, her foster parents could no longer keep her with them. Perhaps they knew they couldn't care for her special needs any longer. Perhaps the only way for her to find a forever family meant that she needed to go into the care of an orphanage. We do know, from the photos they gave us, that her foster mother was very grieved to see her go. I am not posting the photo of her foster mother with red puffy eyes and pain on her face (I chose not to share any front-shot photos of her foster family...for their privacy).

But here you can see our daughter at the train station in the arms of a social worker who took her to her orphanage. Clearly, this day was very hard on our little girl. She was, FOR THE SECOND TIME, saying goodbye to a "mother" in her life. For the second time, she was off to a new place with new people and new smells and new "moms."

She was taken to a really wonderful orphanage many miles away from her foster home. I say "wonderful" because I have heard the horror stories of other orphanages with children kept in beds all day long, often lying in their own filth. This was not the case with our daughter's orphanage. It was clean, had pretty pictures painted on the walls, and was run by caring people. She had music class each week and other stimulation to help in her development.

But still, it was an orphanage, and she really needed a home and family. So, the orphanage got her paperwork together and began the search for a family. They took this photo of her and sent it to different adoption agencies.

Here she is playing with a bead chaser at the orphanage.

As is often the case in orphanages, her hair was cut very short (usually to keep lice at bay but also to make for an easier time taking care of all the children). Her orphanage was run very efficiently. Our U.S. contact told us that the children were given 30 minutes to eat each meal, and then bowls were taken away. This is ample time for typical children to eat, but for our daughter with special needs (including low muscle tone in her jaw), this meant that she didn't finish her meals. According to the reports we have, she would sit for a long time with one bite of food in her mouth, not clear on how to chew it. The orphanage put her on baby formula every 4 hours to ensure she was being nourished. She was still on formula at the age of 3.

Just before we adopted our daughter, her foster family visited her at the orphanage and took several photos of her. Her foster mother wrote us a beautiful letter. Among other things, she told us that because of what our daughter had had to go through, she was timid and not trusting of people. You can see it in her photos here. At this point, she had lost 2 mothers in her life. And at the orphanage, she had a favorite caregiver, but with so many children, she simply didn't get that individualized attention and focused love that a family can give. I imagine she woke up at nights and had nobody to sing to her or rock her back to sleep. I imagine that she wondered where her wonderful foster family had gone. She became withdrawn and had lost trust in people, especially "mom" figures.

And here you can see it again on her face...the hurt of the past, the distrust of people, the uncertainty of whose child she was...

This is the road she had to take to finally arrive in her forever family. God knew every day of her life before it came to pass, even these rough days. He was with her.

The next step in her journey involved a random passing moment when we (thousands of miles away) read her profile on Reece's Rainbow's website...

An Orphan's Story, Part 2

2011-02-11T16:55:00.000-05:00

Here's a family for which we will always be thankful. This is her foster family. Here's our daughter with her foster mom. We have many sweet pictures of them together, and it's such a blessing for us to have such loving photos to share with our daughter as she grows older. She will know how LOVED she always has been!

Here she is with her foster dad. Again, we have many great photos of them together.

Oh how I LOVE this picture with those toothless gums!! We missed that stage in her life, so it is amazing to have photos to help bridge that gap for us and later for her too as she wants to know her life story.

And, as I stated in the last post, there are some photos that make me get teary-eyed, wishing I had been there for the little bumps and bruises and moments when Mama is needed. (But, as you can see, she was well cared for...and I'm sure that the princess liked how her wound was bandaged like a beautiful head piece!)

Hmmmm... Does she look like she's enjoying that beach gear? :) Poor baby! But at least we do know that she went to the beach with her foster family. That is a wonderful piece of her first year of life. In time, I think she will giggle when she sees some of these pictures. It's part of her story.

Here she is at the beach still...but this time out of that contraption and into a cozy stroller. Happy girl!

As you can probably tell, our daughter was blessed to have a good foster family. This was all part of God's plan for her life. We cannot understand the WHY part of everything...why her birth mother had to make the choice she did, why she was bounced from foster home to orphanage, why it took 3 years until she was placed in her forever family...many WHY's. But we do know that for whatever purpose and reason, her birth mother decided to give her the gift of a forever family. Her first stop on that journey was several months spent in her foster family's home.

And for whatever purpose or reason, the next step of her journey took her to an orphanage. I'll blog about that next time...

An Orphan's Story, Part 1

2011-02-07T22:50:00.002-05:00

Part of the calling on my life is to "tell their story." Being a voice for the orphan means getting their story out there. Every orphan has his or her own struggles, pains, wishes, dreams. Every orphan has a story.

I'll begin by sharing the story of our daughter before she was adopted into our family. This isn't the easiest story for me to share, but I choose to...if for no other reason that to give a "face" to the often quoted statistic of "millions of orphans" in our world today. These are not just numbers. They are real breathing children.

********************

It was a cold fall day when a birth mother placed her tiny baby in front of a busy restaurant in the city where she lived. For whatever reason (which we will never fully know), she knew she couldn't care for her baby the way she wanted to. The very best gift she could give her child was the gift of a family. So, she did all she knew to do. She bundled her baby up and placed her in an area where she knew many people would be passing. She knew that doctors and social workers would be passing by...people that would find her baby and be able to give her what she needed. Maybe she prayed...maybe she hoped... I cannot say what emotions must have been pulsing through this birth mother's mind and heart as she made what was probably the most difficult decision of her life. All I know is that, like the widow who gave all she had, this precious birth mother gave her baby the gift of a forever family...and it cost her this precious piece of her heart.

A social worker was called, and our angel was taken to a doctor for a check-up. Tests were run, determining that she was approximately 3 months old and had Down Syndrome.

She was placed in a temporary foster home. She was BLESSED to have a loving foster family. They cared for her and loved her. In fact, they took many pictures of her (2 of which I'm sharing with you here). Many orphans do not have this situation. Many are not blessed with a loving foster family, so we are beyond thankful for the foster mom and dad who loved her long before she joined our family.

An array of emotions goes through my heart when I see the pictures...
-Grateful for her foster family
-Happy to have all these wonderful pictures of her early life
-And yet sad that I missed some of the moments when a baby just needs her Mama...

Sometimes a passing thought assaults my mind... I wasn't there to hold her when she was hurt, lonely, confused, scared, sad. But then a bigger thought settles in over that one and bathes me in peace: I may not have been there, but her Heavenly Father was ALWAYS there. He is a Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5). He was and is and always will be. And He was there with her long before I knew about her. It is HE who knows everything about her, cares for every detail of her life, watches over her beating heart. And it is HE who chose to place her in our family.

Sometimes all I can manage to say to Him is, "THANK YOU."

(More to come in our daughter's story...)

Praying Miss Celine into her forever family...

2011-02-06T15:18:00.000-05:00

Just look at this face! I've asked my mom (a big prayer warrior) to pray for little Miss Celine, and I wanted to share her picture and information with you too. As you can see, she will very soon face institutionalization if she is not adopted. Please join us in praying for God's perfect Will for Celine's life. Pass this along to prayer warriors who are willing to take just 5 minutes each day to lift up these children to Him.

Celine

Date of Birth: October 2005
Gender: Female
Eyes: Blue
Hair: light brown
Character: sociable. Calm

FACING IMMINENT INSTITUTIONALIZATION!

So happy to have updated pics and medical information about Celine! She is a pretty little girl who is blessed to still be at the baby house. She is facing transfer soon. Celine has blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She is quite self-sufficient and independent physically. She very much enjoys the attention of adults, and likes to read books and engage.

From her medical records: Down syndrome, moderate mental deficiency; hypertrophy of tonsils of the II-III degree; farsightedness; adenoids the II-III degree; allergic dermatitis; hypostatura. Sveta also has talipes valgus and congenital chord anomaly.

Celine will do very well in a family setting. Lots more photos available, along with FULL MEDICAL RECORDS. Married couples only at this time.

Pray for Alexander's forever family to find him

2011-02-01T08:08:00.000-05:00

Alexander

Born, Born April 13, 2005

HELP! I HAVE BEEN TRANSFERRED!!

OH, what a difference a new picture can make!! Alexander has been listed with us for more than 2 years, and not a soul has ever inquired about him. Up until now, the only photos we have had of him were laying down in a crib, never showing him up and mobile and active! But look at him!! What a great smile, and so much life in him!

Alexander is a handsome little boy who really needs a loving family. He has light brown hair and blue eyes. He is already 5! He was born with a minor PDA, but does not have pulmonary hypertension. He also has flat feet. Please give Alexander the chance to grow up in a loving family

HEADS WERE SHAVED FOR THE SUMMER MONTHS

MORE NEW PHOTOS AVAILABLE!

Indifference

2011-01-29T14:55:00.000-05:00

I met my friend "E" a couple of years ago. Our story is actually very interesting, as she is the one who led me to Reece's Rainbow (where we found our youngest daughter), but at the time, I didn't even know "E." Since then, we have become friends. She and I have such similar hearts, similar burdens. When I read so many of her blog entries, I feel as though I had written them because it is my heart! She included this video on her blog awhile back, and I so agreed with it deep in my spirit that I had to share it here.

Take the time to watch this and let it sink in and shake the indifference. He CAN change us to be more like Him if we only let Him. We CAN be His Hands and Feet if we are willing to lose our indifference.

Will we grieve over this? Will we be willing to fight for our King and His Glory?

"For His Glory, we will rescue these little ones."

Artem

2011-01-24T09:55:00.000-05:00

I got permission from Reece's Rainbow to post photos and information for Artem (the boy I asked prayer for). Just look at this precious face! He's been waiting for a forever family for a long long time.

Artem K.

Date of Birth: June 4, 2006

Gender: Male

Eyes: Brown

Hair: dark brown

Temperament: good-natured

SIGNIFICANT RISK, PLEASE ADOPT ME SOON!

It is so painful to see these kids whose mothers drank during their pregnancy :( (( Artem’s mom was clearly not interested in giving him the best chance in life. This was her first pregnancy, he was born at 38 weeks, but she smoked and drank throughout the pregnancy. His mother kept him home until he was nearly a year old, so there is no telling what other damage she may have caused him during that time. Despite his difficult beginnings, he is described as a good natured boy, and will thrive in a loving family. He does have a minor myocardiopathy that should be followed once home, but he is active and doing much better now that he is in the orphanage.

FULL MEDICAL RECORDS AVAILABLE! SINGLE MOMS WELCOME

Lots more photos available

I have $3615.5 in my grant fund towards the cost of my adoption!

Back on my post!

2011-01-23T09:15:00.000-05:00

After a 3-month rest from blogging, I'm climbing back on my post. It was 3 months of seeking direction, examining my motives, learning humility and just being QUIET. Amazing what we can hear and learn when we are quiet!

My father-in-law helped get all the technical issues ironed out on the blog. And God has had me in a boot camp of sorts, getting some spiritual issues ironed out. So, here I am again. He's placed me in full-time ministry...ministering to the precious family living in my own home, and serving the orphan...not part-time but full-time, wholeheartedly, without distraction, running the race He has set before me, aiming to hear one day, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Part of my calling is to be a voice for orphans. So, let me begin that right this minute. This little guy has been waiting for a family for quite a long time. His name is Artem, and you can find his sweet picture and all his information HERE. He is at significant risk, so I ask you as a reader to send this information on to your circle of friends and family. You never know whose heart has been readied for this moment to step forward to give Artem a forever family. You may not be able to adopt, but we can all help spread the word. Artem (and many many others like him) do not have a voice...they cannot call someone to help them...so we MUST be their voice.

And the very BIGGEST thing we can do is to pray for these children. God works in amazing ways. I remember when we stepped forward to adopt our daughter, I received an email from a lady who said she had been praying for months for our daughter's forever family to find her. And the string of events that led to us finding her was nothing short of miraculous, so I know God heard this lady's prayers and guided us to our daughter. So, today...right now...take just 2 minutes to lift Artem up to Him in prayer. Pray His Scriptures back to Him: "Father to the fatherless, defender of widows---this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families...." (Psalm 68:5-6a) and ask Him to set Artem in his forever family. And please pass that prayer request on to your small group or circle of friends who knows the power of prayer.

This blog exists to tell the story of the orphan because they cannot tell it themselves, and I will soon begin by telling our daughter's story. I will be seeking people willing to share their own stories of orphans. More on that later...

For now, let me say it's good to be back. And I ask you to help make this blog an active work in orphan ministry. Please give this blog address to every prayer warrior you know, and tell them there's a work for them here. Brick-by-brick, person-by-person, we CAN rebuild this wall of orphan ministry. We all have an important role to fill. Let us be about that work wholeheartedly!

Into Obscurity

2010-10-09T14:52:00.013-04:00

"Take care! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired, because then you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give a gift to someone in need, don't shout about it as the hypocrites do--blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I assure you, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone, don't tell your left hand what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in secret, and your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you." Matthew 6:1-4

The funny thing about doing "good deeds" is that our motives can get shifted, even just a tad. Sometimes it may be pure and righteous motives; but introduce an applause, a high-five, a wow-you-did-an-awesome-job...and it can tilt our motives. Sometimes we ourselves cannot even notice that slight tilt. Other times we can sway vastly between pleasing God and pleasing man.

Here's a question: That "good thing" you're dong... Would you still do it if nobody were watching? If you were the only one on the face of the planet to know, would you still do it? What if you were to drop to the bottom of the pile...to be the very least and last...to be in an obscure place where nobody knew your name (and certainly didn't know you had a blog or a facebook page...and most definitely didn't know your every move twittered)? What things would you do then...if the only ones who knew your deeds were God and yourself?

I cannot even begin to pretend to know God's plans for me. I used to think I knew...then I thought maybe I could give an educated guess...then just a plain ol' guess sounded good. But now I know that I cannot begin to understand His ways or His plans for my life. I do know that the past several months have shifted my mind and heart into a different mode. I find myself thinking of how to further His Kingdom. It consumes my thoughts. I find myself less and less attracted to the things of this world...all the STUFF we have bombarding our every moment is crazy! I find myself asking every day, "What do You want me to do today? How do I further Your Kingdom? How do I invest in eternity?"

Full-time ministry is my field of view. Full-time servanthood is the target I want to hit. I fail daily (sometimes hourly or minute-by-minute!), but it's my aim.

But it is ever so easy to let my eyes slip from intently staring at that target. It's all too easy to be tilted to the left or right...to be caught up in a million details that simply don't matter...to be swayed by the slightest breeze brought on by a pat-on-the-back or by an are-you-crazy look of disapproval.

"...Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends, from start to finish." Hebrews 12:1a-2a

It's time for me to drop into that place of obscurity where He seems to be leading me right now. As much as I love to blog, I am stripping this off of me as well. I cannot explain it in words, but I know when He needs me to do something. Maybe it's a test to see if I will continue to do the same "good deeds" while in an obscure place with nobody watching and clapping. Perhaps it's only temporary; and perhaps I will be back blogging sometime. I really don't know. All I do know is that I need to follow Him. That is the air I breathe.

So, for all of you very sweet people who follow this blog (both officially and all the others who are keeping up unofficially), I want to point you to my sweet friend's blog. She is a Down Syndrome adoption advocate, and she's a rare treasure in that she is REAL. She is also seeking to follow God, and she and her family just recently placed their house on the market with the aim of letting God place them where He wants. This will be a great "faith walk" to witness as she writes about it. If you are interested in following a blog that highlights adoption, this is one of the very best ones!

And if you stumble across my blog and just want to help on orphan somehow, I highly recommend starting here with Show Hope.

I've placed the Joshua Project on the side bar of this blog, and I encourage all bloggers to place this on their blogs and to pray daily for the unreached people groups that are highlighted. THIS is what truly matters in life...souls that will last for eternity. Not cars, houses, reputations, money, portfolios, insurance or even good intentions. Think on it. We all have a choice in how we invest our lives.

I leave with you with a quote from the book Crazy Love, by Francis Chan (which, by the way, is a book you simply must get your hands on, devour and act on)...

"How many of us would really leave our families, our jobs, our education, our friends, our connections, our familiar surroundings, and our homes if Jesus asked us to? If He just showed up and said, 'Follow me'? No explanation. No directions.

"You could follow Him straight up a hill to be crucified. Maybe He would lead you to another country, and you would never see your family again. Or perhaps you would stay put, but He would ask you to spend your time helping people who will never love you back and never show gratitude for what you gave up.

"Consider this carefully---have you ever done so? Or was your decision to follow Christ flippant, based solely on feelings and emotion, made without counting the cost?"

Be about His work, even if it seems crazy to the rest of the world!

Trip to Disney World!

2010-10-01T08:14:00.002-04:00

When we were planning our adoption, we told our children that after we adopted, we'd plan a trip to Disney World to celebrate our new addition to our family. We waited a year after the adoption to give our daughter time to acclimate. Taking a child with sensory processing issues to Disney World was a big step for us! :)

The first night she had a very hard time with all the noises and craziness of the restaurant we went to in Downtown Disney. But by the first day in the parks, she did much better than we expected. We took it easy with her, taking her on only a handful of rides each day. Mama spent a lot of time pushing her in a stroller and seeing the more quiet things likes birds sharing her crackers and the gorilla who was eating his lunch while we watched (amazing creatures, those gorillas!). But, at Disney World, there's simply no escaping the noise and other sensory input...parades, music, people busy running here and there, screaming children. But she LOVED Disney World! By the time we left, she had grown very accostomed to everyone calling her "Princess" and giving her royal treatment! I'm afraid it's going to take some time to undo some of the princess factor over here. She's still waving at strangers and wondering why they aren't calling her by her royal title. :)

Here she is in the shadow of that towering castle. Some say it belongs to Cinderella, but this Asian princess thinks it's HERS!

Here she is at an African restaurant in one of the Disney resorts. They brought her a fun drink with a glow-in-the-dark Tinkerbell. Just look at the awe factor! For ME?!!

Here we are on a boat ride to the Magic Kingdom. Florida sun is something else! :)

Ahhh, and here's the crew at EPCOT (our favorite park!).

On the way to and from Orlando, I read a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Ever read it? It will change your life and MESS YOU UP! :) I'll post more on that later. Go get that book!

Our Web Page

2010-09-16T07:51:00.003-04:00

We are pulling our orphan ministry web site off the web. Most of our traffic comes through our blog (which is free), so we've decided to stop paying for a web site and just make use of the blog. As you know, there are some definite shifts going on in our direction, but orphan ministry will remain on our plate and dear to our hearts. All of the info that was on the web site will be moved either to this blog or to another one. I will keep you posted as we move forward. :)

Special Needs Orphan Ministry

2010-09-09T07:37:00.002-04:00

I was contacted by a wonderful lady who "provides early intervention services and support to orphans with special needs." She gave me her blog address, and I wanted to pass this along to you. Click on this link to visit her blog. She is advocating for several orphans in Ukraine, and she recently delivered hats, sun bonnets and orthopedic equipment to a Baby House in Ukraine. Precious ministry! This is her "brick." She's using her specialty and knowledge to reach out to orphans, and she's also advocating for those children who desperately need families. Please share her blog address with your friends and family. Pray for the orphans she is advocating for on her blog, and pray for her as she works on her portion of the wall of orphan ministry.

If you want to help out orphans but don't know how, a GREAT place to start is to simply advocate for orphans who need a family. They cannot advocate for themselves, so they need you! Just choose a few children and become their unofficial advocate. Go to Reece's Rainbow for names and pictures of many orphans who desperately need their forever family to find them. You can put their pictures on your blogs or share information with your family and friends. You can have a yard sale to raise $ to put into their adoption fund, and you place a photo and information of the child for everyone to see as they shop your yard sale. You can pray every day for this child, as it is quite possible that nobody else is praying for him/her. You really CAN do something! It may not seem like a lot to you, but for a child who cannot speak up for themselves, your little bit of help can make a world of difference.

Changes

2010-09-07T13:38:00.004-04:00

When this blog is silent, you can always be certain that something is going on.

It's been one of those seasons in life with a zillion questions and deep pondering... What should I pour my life into? What do I want my legacy to be? What really matters? What lasts for eternity? What should be my priority and focus?

It's been a season of reflection, seeking, praying.

It's been a season of testing and struggling.

While reading the book Live Life on Purpose: God's Purpose. Your Life. One Journey, I was hit by a statement: "Every map has an expiration date." Things change, life moves, time advances. And maps expire.

The point in that book is to line yourself up with God as a compass lines up with true north. Maps are great for the journey, but every map expires. If you're using your compass, you can still stay on course.

And this is where I find myself today. With an expired map. To be more precise, my map has some added things on it now. It's like the world globe I recently unpacked. It had been my grandmother's globe, and it was amazing all the changes that have occurred in the years since that globe was made! All the continents were the same, but some countries have changed names.

And my life map has been altered. Three years ago it read: "Orphan Ministry." No details. One year ago, it read, "Orphan Ministry: Rebuild the Wall." The plans of Nehemiah came into focus as a way to look at orphan ministry. We all have bricks...we all have a portion of the wall we can work on. And today the map reads, "Ministry: Physical and Spiritual Orphans." It's as if a "country" on my map has shifted its borders and created another "state."

The basic framework is there...orphan ministry. The basic blueprint is there...we all have bricks and can do this work together. But the vision has expanded.

I will soon share more details about that, as it is a blog entry in and of itself. But here's a short version that will catch you up to speed...

During every step of our adoption last year, God spoke in my spirit, showing me how it related to my own adoption into His family. The parallel was beyond coincidental. And on that day when we arrived at the orphanage and saw our not-too-receptive child who waved goodbye to us and wanted us to leave, I was struck by something. I could see the parallel so vividly in how God longs to adopt us into His family, but we don't see the need. Or worse...there are so many (millions upon millions) who don't even know that they have a Father who is longing to adopt them into His family as His very own children. Just as our daughter had never heard of us, they have never heard of this God of love. Instead, they worship idols, ancestors, etc.

These are what seem to me to be "spiritual orphans." They have a Father who yearns to adopt them, but they just don't know. They've never heard.

So, how do I serve these precious people?? Ahhh, now you know what this blog has been silent. It's a deep pondering to really truly seek God in this question. Will we follow Him to the foreign mission field? Honestly, I do not know exactly what He's leading us to do, but I DO know that I have to be 100% open to WHATEVER that is and WHEREVER that is. So, we've made ourselves available for Him to interrupt our lives in whatever way He wants. Dangerous prayers! :) We've agreed to say YES no matter what He asks us to do. That means that if He opens the doors for us to serve on the foreign mission field, we will go. So, there...I said it...I'm on call now!

There are other options that are just as powerful. I am being trained to be a prayer leader for a missionary agency, and we can enter into very focused and dedicated partnership with missionaries already on the field...to pray for them specifically, support them financially, etc. This is a support role that is just as crucial as actually being "on the field."

Options. Paths. Decisions. New maps. But same compass and same North Star.

There is so much more to say, and I will blog about it in segments as I can. But I did want to finally break the silence and spill bits of news.

One year ago...

2010-08-04T09:32:00.005-04:00

It was exactly one year ago that we walked into an orphanage in Taiwan to pick up our youngest treasure. She was not the least bit receptive to us. Here is a picture of her sitting on the floor in the orphanage. She was very upset about us being there and all the feelings of change that she must have been having. The caregivers always gave her a wet wipe when she was upset, and she would just wipe her face over and over to comfort herself.

After several attempts at first-time bonding (giving her crackers, trying to talk to her, etc), we headed into the room with the other children where we entertained them with music for awhile. Here is our angel girl looking at her new Daddy playing the guitar. She was very withdrawn, concerned, anxious as she scanned the room for her favorite caregiver.

After we said goodbye to the other children, the caregivers placed us in a room alone with our daughter in order to bond. She was not at all on board with that plan. It was heartbreaking to hear her cry because it wasn't loud or aggressive; instead, it was a pitiful cry of someone who feels helpless in a situation but is having to give in to it against their will. SO HARD to hear her cry like that! She pushed against us and cried until she was wiped out and fell asleep in Daddy's arms.

The caseworker wanted us to leave while she was asleep, so we left with our driver and headed to the hotel. She woke up once in the car and then another time in the elevator at the hotel as we headed to our room. She was disoriented and scared and confused and very sad. She would sit in our hotel room without a single sound, and tears would flow non-stop down her cheeks in a silent mourning. Not a single sound! This was a very very hard day for all of us.

Here is a picture of her crying at the orphanage, just before she fell asleep from exhaustion.

The silent tears continued for a few months as she mourned her losses. But the tears became less and less, and now they will come every once in awhile in the form of one tiny tear that will sit under her eye while she continues to play.

She is full of LIFE! She is happy, well-adjusted and has one of the strongest stubborn streaks that would simply amaze you! :)

And here she is a couple of weeks ago. While her siblings fished at the base of a beautiful waterfall, she propped her feet up (as any princess should do!) and watched them fishing while she ate her crackers and sang songs.

What a difference a year makes! What a difference a home and family make!

We are indeed BLESSED to have this Asian princess in our lives. Today marks a very special day that we will never forget.

Thinking of her birth mother

2010-07-08T20:51:00.004-04:00

Tonight we loaded the birth mother gift bags into the trunk of my husband's car, and tomorrow he will be delivering these to a case worker who will take these gifts back to the adoption agency to stock their shelves. The adoption agency is so thankful and appreciative! (I emailed pictures of the bags, and just a day later, they scheduled to pick them up!). :)

Our youngest daughter wanted to come help us load the bags and baskets into the trunk. She was beyond DELIGHTED at the sight of all those gifts. She squealed in excitement! Just look at her:

And it got me thinking about her birth mother. We were planning to make a couple of these gift baskets in honor of her birth mother on Mother's Day, but our local homeschool group wanted to help us make more. So, they blessed us with a total of 13 gifts to be given to precious birth mothers in the hospital.

We do this in part to honor a birth mother on the other side of the world who gave her baby the priceless gift of a family. I don't know who she is, but she will always be part of our family. My daughter will carry part of her always with her, and I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the most amazing gift anyone could ever give. I'm thankful for the laughter and the hugs. I'm thankful for the beautiful little girl who wears a different bow every day because she feel she NEEDS to. I'm thankful for the sensitive and gentle spirit that comes wrapped up in this tiny frame of a child. I'm thankful for the extra chromosome that gives our home an extra dose of interesting events and amazingly rich love. And I'm even thankful for that stubborn streak that keeps us on our toes!! I'm just thankful for our daughter and the precious birth mother who blessed us with such a selfless gift.

I prayed over the gift bags and baskets that will be delivered to birth mothers over the next months. I prayed for healing of their hearts...and purpose in their steps...and guidance from their Heavenly Father who cares so deeply for them. It's the same thing I pray for our daughter's birth mother...with a whisper of "thank you."

Lessons on the front porch

2010-07-05T08:58:00.012-04:00

So this morning I was settling into my favorite comfy chair in the living room, but the Lord urged me to go to the front porch instead. I got situated on the porch swing, and something caught my attention out of the corner of my left eye. An ugly spider had spun his web down from the hanging pot of flowers and attached the other end to the chain of the porch swing. Every time I swung forward, he'd swing forward...every time I'd swing back, he'd come right with my swing. Now, I'm a living-in-the-woods girl, so I'm fairly used to seeing spiders and other critters. I let them live out in their area (the whole woods!), but I like to have MY territory to myself too. So, I took my pen and just broke the one thread that attached his web to my porch swing, and the whole web went limp. Mr. Spider then did an amazing thing... He sat for about 10 seconds as if evaluating the damage, and then he began to quickly roll up his web. I watched as he climbed back up the web, rolling the whole thing up as he went along. And then he retreated into the hanging basket of flowers...perhaps thinking about his next housing project.

And I knew that God had brought me onto the porch for some lessons. Sometimes He teaches me straight from His Word out here, and I barely hear the buzzing of the bees. But other times, He brings me out here and says, "Watch and learn." So, I peel my eyes open and just watch, with an open spirit that wants to learn. Today was one of the watch-and-learn days. Two thoughts came to my mind as I watched that spider:

1) Dumb spider! Why on earth would he attach his web to 2 movable objects?? Come on...he has the whole woods...trees, bushes, plants...some secure natural dwellings, no? And if he prefers to be closer to people, then why not attach onto the side of the house or garage or shed? He attached to a hanging plant on one end and a movable swing on the other end! Dumb spider! And me?? Okay, so do I hook my life securely to the immovable anchor and Rock, or do I hook onto the movable things of this life? And here's a thought...the immovable truly secure place to anchor is often the UNSEEN, and it's the thing that *feels* like a crazy unstable place to put our trust....while the movable truly insecure place is often the VISIBLE, and it's the thing that *feels* like a stable place to put our trust. (Reread that sentence until it clicks..really clicks) Do I attach to the movable or the immovable? "Don't store up treasures here on earth, where they can be eaten by moths and get rusty and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where they will never become moth-eaten or rusty and where they will be safe from thieves. Wherever your treasure is, there you heart and thoughts will also be." (Matt 6:11)

2) That spider could not have attached to my porch swing while it was moving. I found myself trying to keep the swing moving so that Mr. Spider wouldn't rethink this housing option. I figured that if the swing was moving, he'd look elsewhere for a place to attach his web. And I remembered how amazing it was to watch him roll up that web. All I did was detach it at its base...the point of contact with the swing. And then he rolled up the entire web (no messy web sticking to things!), and he retreated! And the Scripture came to my mind: "Resist the devil, and he will flee."

We are stepping out in a huge way into God's calling for our lives. This is one of those biggie moments when we are stepping out of the boat and onto the crashing waves. (Really, more details will be coming in time as we are able to share them!) But, with stepping out comes a torrential onslaught of trials, challenges, spiritual battles. Recently, I've felt so war-torn that I have wanted to RUN AWAY from it all and just find any comfy place to slip into and hide. But that is the strategy of the enemy. He wants us on the run...he wants us scared...he wants us focused on anything and everything except for the Kingdom of God.

But my spider friend taught me some lessons. I am to hook my life onto the immovable Rock. HOW? Focus ONLY on Him and what He has called me to do...never mind the seen things that scream out security...but rather step into His calling, no matter how crazy it seems...put my whole trust in Him as my refuge and Rock. And I am to resist the devil at every turn...detach his point of contact with my life and then watch him roll up his web and retreat. HOW do I detach his web from my life? Refuse to focus on the temporal irritations, the arguments, the tensions and even the "good and fun" things that could so easily distract me from His callings. Resist the urge to fight for my rights. Resist the desire to be right in the conversation. Resist the urge to control. Resist the devil, and he WILL flee. And I love that he has to roll up his web and retreat! If I resist him and his temporal things he wishes I'd focus on, I can instead focus on what I'm called to do for the Kingdom.

I also learned a tremendous lesson from the hummingbirds this morning. There is a hummingbird who has been coming to our feeder for what seems like forever. He finds our feeder in the spring and stays until fall. He's a dear friend that I feed when he's here. But, as is the case with feeders, he has competition. Other male hummingbirds try to steal some nectar, and I'm always thinking that surely they can learn to share. There are, after all, 4 holes for drinking the nectar...and how much nectar can a tiny bird need, right? But this morning I saw it in a new light. (Remember, God brought me out here to watch and learn...so I peeled my spiritual eyes open and sat to watch).

My hummingbird friend was guarding his nectar fiercely today. Any time visitor hummingbird came by, my resident hummingbird fought him off. Have you ever HEARD them fight? I think they clash beaks or something because there's an awful crashing sound, and then they fly off squawking in their high pitch voices. It looks like it HURTS to clash like that...mid-air. If you haven't watched this, really you need to get a hummingbird feeder. It's far better than the sports channel in my opinion!

Okay, so I got to thinking about this. My resident hummingbird is guarding his nectar. It's his life source. And I remembered our pastor's message yesterday about keeping out "oil" in our house. The "oil" was a word picture for the Holy Spirit. We have to keep the Holy Spirit flowing in our home. Complacency is deadly. And I saw my resident hummingbird as a pretty smart guy. He was on guard, making sure that his life source was guarded. He has a "wife" too that he allows to drink the nectar, while he stands guard to keep other visiting hummingbirds away. He is on guard all the time. He will come out of the trees quick as a flash to guard that feeder, and he's relentless to clash and fight other hummingbirds all for the sake of guarding his life source nectar. And I saw him as quite a model to follow. We MUST keep guard all the time. Like the builders on the wall in Nehemiahs' day...some built the wall, while others stood guard the whole time. We have to be on spiritual guard. There is no complacency in nature. Hummingbirds guard their nectar out of necessity. Spiders build their webs out of necessity. And we must stand guard over our "oil" out of necessity to make sure that we are never outdone by the enemy. He wants us to be complacent. He wants us to sit back and be comfortable. Remember, complacency is deadly.

But you cannot get out of the boat and remain comfortable at the same time. It's impossible. And you cannot guard your nectar if you sit in comfort. And you'll have spiders all over your porch swing if you don't cut the web at it's source. Absolutely amazing the lessons that God can teach on a front porch!

Gift bags for birth mothers

2010-06-29T06:37:00.002-04:00

Last night several moms (and one sweet teenager!) from our local homeschool group got together to assemble gift bags and baskets for birth mothers. Every person brought some items for the gift bags, including matching baby blankets for birth mother and baby, matching bracelets for birth mother and baby, photo frames, photo albums, journals with pens, beautiful handmade note cards, and disposable cameras.

We lined the items up on the table like a buffet line. :)

Then every person grabbed a bag or basket and filled it up with one of each item.

It worked out perfectly that we had exactly the right amount of "boy blankets" for the blue "boy bags" and exactly enough "girl blankets" for the girl bags and exactly enough "neutral blankets" for the "neutral bags." (We didn't plan it that way. We just asked for blankets and bags, without specifying gender colors.). I had been praying for all the items to come in and for the right amount of gender specific items to come in. And God always is faithful! ALWAYS! I'm finding that the more I leave things in His Hands, the more perfect things turn out.

And just like He multiplied the loaves and fish, He also somehow multiplied the gift bags and baskets. We had planned on making 12. We had asked for enough items to make 12 bags, and yet somehow (in a way that only God can explain because the rest of us were confused at how it happened!), when we finished making our 12 bags/baskets, there was one extra! In case you wondered if God still multiplies, you can be assured that He indeed does!

This spoke volumes to me because how often do we wonder if He will really come through? How often do we wonder if the little we have to offer is enough accomplish anything in the huge needy world that we live in? How often do we hold back from offering the tiny bit that we can give because we think it's "not enough"? He doesn't need us to give a lot. He needs us to simply give what we have...no matter how small or insignificant we think it may be. And then HE takes it, breaks it and multiplies it! Remember...it's about HIM, not us! We still serve the same God of the Bible miracles. Let Him multiply whatever you have to offer for His Kingdom work. And you too will find His miracle of multiplication done right before your eyes!

Here are the bags and baskets all finished and ready to deliver to a precious adoption agency in our state.

Thank you to all the sweet ladies who made this possible by donating items and time. (And, by the way, with all of us working on this project, it only took 25 minutes to put these bags/baskets together!) Y'all did an excellent job, and God did the work of making sure we'd have exactly what we needed...and then some extra!

What is His Hand upon me to do?

2010-06-23T07:48:00.005-04:00

A few weeks ago, our pastor spoke about doing the things that God's Hand is upon us to do. Some people may become missionaries while others carry His light to the lost and lonely right in their own hometowns. Neither is more important. The factor that all things revolve around is whether or not God's Hand is upon you to do a thing.

Someone may step out to become a missionary because they long for the adventure or because they want to experience another culture or because they feel guilted into that lifestyle. All are wrong reasons to go. The only thing that matters is whether God's Hand is upon you to do it.

Someone may stay in their hometown and never consider ministry anywhere else because they like the comfort of their familiar surroundings or because they are afraid of the unknown or because they simply don't even consider such "radical" changes in their lives. All are wrong reasons to stay. The only thing that matters is whether God's Hand is upon you to do it.

What is God's Hand upon you to do? What burdens your heart? What stirs your spirit? Consider on those things, and ask God: What is Your Hand upon me to do? And then DO IT. You cannot stay if His Hand is upon you to go, and you cannot go if His Hand is upon you to stay. You want to be wherever His Hand is upon you because it is there that miracles reside. It is there that His Kingdom advances through you in mighty ways. And it is there that you will be happiest because you'll be in the center of His Hand and Will.

I've gone back again to study Nehemiah and how he led the rebuilding of that wall. In chapter 4, we see how half of the workers were working with their hands to rebuild the wall, while the other half of the workers were standing guard to make sure that nothing stopped the rebuilding of the wall. Both jobs were important and necessary. Neither job was of lesser value. It all depended on what God had created each person to do.

Some people may step into adventures that take them across the globe to bring light into the darkness, while others may stay home to stand guard to make sure that work gets done (praying, supporting, advocating). We all have a divine calling, and every job is necessary and important to furthering His Kingdom. The deciding factor should always be: What is His Hand upon me to do?

And then go do that thing with all your focus and energy and love!

Following in His Footsteps

2010-06-21T07:59:00.004-04:00

I've been quiet on this blog lately. The past few months have been spent limiting distractions and trying to focus completely on hearing His voice as He leads us into another chapter in our lives.

I will share more in time. For now, I want to pass along a very short but very powerful message that says things much better than I could ever say it. Click here to listen to that 5-minute message, and let this sink into your spirit.

Keep at Your Work

2010-06-02T08:28:00.005-04:00

The Lord has given every man his work. It is his business to do it, and the devil's business to hinder him if he can. And as sure as God has given you a work to do, Satan will try to hinder you.

My dear Christian friend, keep at your work. Do not flinch because the lion roars; do no stop to stone the devil's dogs; do no fool away your time chasing the devil's rabbits. Do your work. Let liars lie, let religious sectarians quarrel, let corporations resolve, let editors publish, and come what may, let the devil do his worst; but see to it that nothing hinders you from fulfilling the work God has given you.

Keep at your work. Let your aim be as steady as a star. Let the world brawl and babble and bubble. Keep at your work. You may be assaulted, wronged, insulted, slandered, wounded and rejected; you may be abused by foes, forsaken by friends and despised and rejected of men, but see to it with steadfast determination, with unfaltering zeal, that you pursue the great purpose of your life and the object of your being, until at last you can say, "I have run the race...I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do."

---Author Unknown (quote taken from K.P. Yohannan's book Living in the Light of Eternity)

Live To Be Forgotten

2010-05-13T08:03:00.004-04:00

Elijah's birthday came and went this year as quietly as he arrived in the labor and delivery room 3 years ago. A few sweet people remembered his birthday, and that warmed my heart. But many didn't remember. At the close of his birthday, I had a moment of sadness. When I was alone that night, I was praying out loud and asking God, "Does nobody remember him? Do they not remember that he is real? Have they all forgotten him??" But just as quickly as that thought came into my mind, another thought came right in to take its place...

God brought to mind a video I had just seen a few days earlier. Patrick Fung is the President of OMF (Overseas Missionary Fellowship, which works to reach Eastern Asia), and he wrote a book called Live to Be Forgotten. Click this link to see a short 12-minute interview with Patrick Fung. It is so worth the time.

Patrick Fung talks about living to be forgotten...living our lives in such a way that Jesus is seen and we are forgotten. What a thought! Don't we deep down inside want to at least be remembered? We are willing to give up our lives, but don't we hope that we will at least be known for giving up our lives? Countless missionaries have lived their entire lives in order to reach the unreached...they've given up comfort and safety and have lived simple lives among the people they wanted to share Jesus with. Most of these people we have never heard of. They lived in such a way that we cannot recall them but can only see what Jesus did through them. They lived to be forgotten.

And as that thought entered my mind, I was so pleased with my little Elijah. He is not remembered by many. In fact, his Daddy and Mama (and a handful of nurses) are the only ones on earth who laid eyes on him. And yet countless people have been touched by his life story. Orphans have been reached because of his life. Our family's entire direction and purpose were altered by this under-one-pound baby boy. Elijah's life was not his own but instead reflected God's love and life amazingly. Elijah lived to be forgotten. Instead of being sad that he isn't as remembered as he "should" be, I find myself wanting to be more like him.

I want to live to be forgotten.

Time of Reflection

2010-05-11T08:24:00.005-04:00

I find myself in a very reflective state of mind this morning. On this date three years ago, I was in a hospital room in labor with our 4th child, Elijah. He arrived into this world very quietly. Stillborn. The following photo was taken just before we left his funeral. This was the last time our human bodies were near each other. There simply are no words to describe this pain.

But there IS healing! And placing that sort of pain into the Hands of God has this enormous ripple effect that just keeps reaching into the next stage of our lives...and then the next... I cannot even begin to explain all the blessings we have experienced as we've just TRUSTED Him.

It's the pain in our lives that propels us to really seek, isn't it? Attending the funeral of a child is an event I wouldn't wish on anyone. But, while it's unimaginable and impossible in human terms, it is the very place where I HAD to rely on God fully (what else could I do?). Though it was indescribably painful, it was also the place where I felt God's soothing Hand of healing the most prominent in my life. Many many mornings found me out on the front porch crying in the early hours of the day, but also in that time, I found God to faithful to be "close to the brokenhearted," making His voice crisp and clear in my spirit. I took great joy in Him during that time. There was a dimension of my life that opened up during that hard experience, and it has propelled me forward with faith and purpose. And so it is that JOY and SUFFERING go hand-in-hand.

Sometimes things are just down-right HARD in life. Loved ones pass away, things change, hard decisions have to be made, feet have to be redirected (when they'd much rather stick in a comfortable rut!). We tend to hate the hard things, the disappointments, the pain, the s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g, the painful changes, the losses. But aren't those the very things that propel us towards relying more on our Heavenly Father? The hard things, when placed in HIS HANDS are miraculously altered. The disappointments give way to new hope...the pain becomes a springboard for reaching others...the stretching brings on strength and flexibility we've never before had...the changes break us out of stale molds and make us dig deeper and seek Him more earnestly...the losses propel us to again examine "where our treasure is." The hard things bring amazing focus that we tend to lack in the easier times.

So, today as I reflect on Elijah's birthday, I'm feeling amazing peace and joy. His first and last moments of earthly life were inside my womb. I cannot think of a more precious place, and I'm humbled to have been that for him. And I'm absolutely sure that he is now enjoying life fully in paradise. And us...well, we followed through that valley and into His calling on our lives. And we feel that calling constantly realigned and refocused. And He is still teaching us how to follow Him, reminding us always how to distinguish His still quiet voice, and encouraging us to be thankful for the hard times. Remember, joy and suffering very often go hand-in-hand.

Honoring and Serving Birth Mothers

2010-05-07T09:21:00.003-04:00

Mother's Day will soon be upon us, and I wanted to take a moment to honor all the birth mothers who have selflessly chosen to place their babies for adoption. We have personally been touched by this gift, as our youngest child joined our family through the miracle of adoption. This is the first Mother's Day that we've had this added facet to consider. We find ourselves taking some time to reflect on our daughter's birth mother and her beautiful gift that she chose to give to her baby...the gift of a forever family. How could we possibly thank her for that gift, especially with the reality that we don't know her birth mother?

I'm brainstorming ways that we can honor her birth mother this Mother's Day, and I'll get back with you on what we decide to do. But, in honor of all birth mothers, we have hooked up with a Georgia-based adoption agency and have volunteered to help serve them. One thing that they needed was a service for birth mothers. They provide counseling and support as birth mothers place their babies for adoption. When they leave the hospital, the birth mothers are often leaving empty-handed. This can be very very hard. So, the adoption agency gives each birth mother a gift basket when they leave the hospital. It has special gifts such as a journal, a frame for the baby's hospital picture, etc. The adoption agency needed people to put these gift baskets together, and we thought it would be a creative and fun way to serve birth mothers.

Last week we invited some sweet young ladies and their mamas to our home to assemble matching bracelets for birth mothers and babies. We heated some tea, enjoyed some scones and had a precious time of fellowship together as we beaded bracelets.

Here are the girls showing off the bracelets that they made. :)

Here are the bracelets that we've made so far. They are tied together with a ribbon, and birth mother will untie them and give one bracelet to baby and keep one for herself. The bracelets are one of the many little gifts that will be included in the gift baskets.

Thank you to all the sweet people from different churches across our town who have donated items to go into the gift baskets.

If you live in another area of the country, you can contact an adoption agency or hospital in your area and ask them if you can volunteer to do something similar for the birth mothers in your area. You can use your gifts and talents to serve birth mothers.

When we have a full gift basket assembled, I will post that and share the details of all the items inside it.

On Mother's Day, please take a moment to remember birth mothers and to pray for healing to come to their hearts.

WATOTO!

2010-05-05T16:35:00.003-04:00

If you've visited our website, you have probably heard of Watoto. It is an amazing children's village in Uganda, Africa. They serve orphans in Uganda by rescuing them, raising them in Christian homes and eventually rebuilding their country with this new generation of Christian leaders. The children are not adopted by families in other countries but rather are raised up to be a wonderful Christ-centered generation in their own country. I encourage you to go to the Watoto web site and read about it for yourself. You will be blessed. And if you really want to help orphans but cannot adopt, this provides a wonderful opportunity for you to place a child into a Christian home within the Watoto village. You can sponsor one or more of these precious children.

And they ARE precious! We had the chance to meet some of the children last Sunday morning when they traveled to Free Chapel in Gainesville, GA. To hear them sing about how they are not forgotten because God knows their names...well, it brought me to tears! Beautiful ministry!

Here are some pictures we took Sunday...

This was our family with some of the Watoto children. They are beautiful!

And the last 2 pictures are of some of our close friends and the Watoto children.

This MADE MY WEEK!!! Go visit Watoto's site. :)

The Quiet Place

2010-04-30T08:21:00.004-04:00

When I want to be completely alone with my Heavenly Father, this is one of my very favorite spots...the front porch swing. I can hear the wind through the many trees, the variety of birds' songs, and the crunching of leaves under the feet of tiny critters running through the woods. This is part of who I am, and I soak it in. But mostly, I find such clarity in my spirit out there in the quiet air.

This first picture was taken one day when I was having a rough time. A sweet friend gave me a biscotti, and I took a 20-minute break to have some hot tea, some Scriptures and my treat.

There's nothing as deeply refreshing as a word from God when I really need it.

And this morning, I shared my favorite quiet spot with one of my children. This is my child whom I call "a balm to my soul." He woke up before everyone else today and came downstairs to ask if he and I could do our Bible time side-by-side on the front porch. This was such a beautiful impromptu time together. He wanted to read I Corinthians 13 about love. Really, what more could a Mama want?

No matter what happens today (and no matter how good or bad of a day it is), deep inside my spirit will be this treasured time in our quiet place.

CALLING ALL PRAYER WARRIORS!!!

2010-04-26T07:29:00.004-04:00

Please take 10 minutes to GO TO THIS BLOG and pray for little Chrissie today. We are praying in Jesus' name for a MIRACLE MONDAY! Please keep that blog in your favorites and check it often, as Chrissie's mom updates it frequently. And please tell all prayer warriors that you know. We are claiming Psalm 118:17 as our prayer of faith today.

To Live is Christ - Gospel for Asia

2010-04-15T19:17:00.001-04:00

This video was in my inbox tonight, and I wanted to share it with you. Here is the link. Please let this sit in your spirit and stir you to action...

To Live is Christ - Gospel for Asia

Wholly Possessed By Love

2010-04-09T08:19:00.005-04:00

I woke up at 5am with the thought sitting in my spirit: "God, I want to be wholly possessed by Your love."

Something bothers me. When it comes to love, I stink! I used to think I was pretty good at it, but the older I get, the more I realize that giving the kind of love that is altogether selfless is not how I'm naturally cut out. Sure, I can write love notes to my family...I can spend time making them their favorite treats...I can make sure my husband's clothes are ironed and his lunch for work is packed...I can spend hours cuddled on the couch reading with my children...I can even give up that last brownie when everything in me screams to eat it before anyone notices it! But when it really comes down to the nitty gritty of TRUE love...the kind that doesn't take offense when someone hurts my feelings or the kind that takes no thought to my own sacrifices...well that's when I know that I simply STINK when it comes to love. It's not that I don't try. I really really DO try! But sometime in between dawn and dusk (and usually closer to dawn!), I fail at loving with this whole-hearted love.

So, this morning my spirit must have been tossing this around even in my sleep. When I woke at 5am, I lay in bed and prayed adamantly that God PLEASE possess me because I cannot love on my own initiative. I wanted to be so overtaken by His Love that I was simply saturated so densely that all I would need to do is just let it ooze out...hey, even just a drip, drip, drip would be improvement on my dried-up can't-quite-muster-enough-in-me-to-wholly-love-you love. I lay there for an hour and a half trying to do something, say something, pray something that would result in an incredible overshadowing of me...where He would possess me so fully that I'd get out of bed a new woman. But alas, it was getting late, and I needed to get my day started...so I got out of bed the same person I was yesterday. But really, the thought of failing again at the greatest thing (love) was too much for me to bear!

I found my cozy spot to be alone with God, and my faithful cat curled up on my lap. And there I sat again, going over it all again...praying to be fully possessed by God's love...reminding Him again that I'm a failure in this area and that He simply MUST do it through me. BUT HOW??? That became the search I was on again this morning. HOW do I become fully overcome by His love so that it saturates me and drips out on everyone I come into contact with?? I really wanted to know HOW.

I read in my Bible and in the book I had just finished for the 4th time (Compelled By Love by Heidi Baker). (Really...you'd think that after reading that book FOUR times, I'd have a handle on the love issue, right?) So, in Heidi's book, she says, "God does not want us to merely love like Jesus. His desire is to possess our very nature with His love." Yes, that is what I want! But HOW??? I read through several parts of the book that I had highlighted. The theme started to rise to the surface: be meek, empty ourselves, go lower still, humble ourselves, give our lives.... Slowly this answer began to surface...again (this answer always bobs up and down, but I've yet to grasp it fully enough to claim it as my own)...

HOW do we become fully possessed by His love? We drink deeply of Him every day...seeking Him in quiet times, reading His Word, praying fervently. Then, filled up, we seek the rest of the day to stay put in the lowest place...to look at everyone we see as better than ourselves...to look to each person's needs as more important than our own (in fact, to meet the other person's needs, while we trust God to meet our own needs)...to empty ourselves over and over again, trusting God to fill us back up. It's about wearing the "brown robe of holy humility," as Heidi puts it...the same way Jesus did when He walked this earth.

On the day when Mother Teresa realized the importance of serving others, she was on a trip to attend a spiritual retreat. She looked out the train window and was overwhelmed at the plight of beggars. God's voice was heard in her ears: "My dear, you must see your beloved Jesus in each one of these miserable people. You must love that Jesus, serve that Jesus and look after that Jesus. Never forget His voice when He says, 'Whenever you did if for the least of these My brothers, you did it for Me'."

2Corinthians 5:11-21 talks of being compelled and controlled by His love. He died for everyone, and we have died to our old life we used to live. We no longer live to please ourselves but please HIM.

So, HOW do I get what I asked for this morning? HOW do I become wholly possessed by His love? By letting Him fill me as I soak in His presence...and then making a conscientious choice to seek out the lowest spot in my home, in my community of friends, in my ministry...to humbly go lower still...to become poor so that I can make others rich in His love (do you see it...we POUR OUT all He's given to us...we empty out...we become poor so that others can be soaked in His love)...to do as Mother Teresa did in seeing Jesus in every person and choosing to serve Jesus, love Jesus and look after Jesus by doing that to those we come into contact with every day.

How can I (a love-challenged person!) actually do this though? God answered me in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." It's not about me...EVER! It's all about Him...and His favor is all I need. My weakness in this area gives Him more room to work because it will be HIM doing it, not me.

Free-Falling

2010-04-06T07:42:00.004-04:00

First, I wanted to share some pictures that are close to my heart. The first one is of our family on Easter morning just after a sunrise service at a beautiful ranch. I don't know why it took so long for us to be able to do this, but this is actually our FIRST family photo (with all of us in the picture!) since we adopted our youngest princess 8 months ago.

This second picture is of our youngest son. Last week we were watching a movie about the life of Jesus (one of our traditions right before Easter), and this little guy began to feel convicted in his heart. For the first time, he realized that Jesus died for HIM. He climbed up in our laps, and after the movie, he wanted to talk about it. Right then and there, he decided to follow Jesus. He asked Him into his heart, and this Mama was so happy to lead him in that prayer. And he was positively BEAMING! I've never seen anyone so radiant with that fresh joy that God gives when His Spirit is given to live inside them. I told him I'd like to take a picture of him because he was glowing. Here he is...

Now to the subject at hand...free-falling...

I had a dream last week. I was falling through the air high above the ground (perhaps I had jumped out of an airplane), and I could feel that sickening feeling that I absolutely hate: free-falling! In my dream, I was screaming, "God, I don't like free-falling!!!" And I heard Him say something like, "Enjoy it. Try flipping and flying. Enjoy the fall." Something in His voice was very calm and soothing. I could heard the smile in His voice, encouraging me to enjoy the fall. So, I stopped flailing my arms and instead began to fly or "swim" like the skydivers do. And as I began to enjoy it, I could barely notice the feeling of free-falling. And then I woke up. I had no doubt that He was encouraging me, even in my sleep (that has only happened this one time...I wish I could dream like that every night!).

In time, I will be able to share details of what this dream means in our real life. Suffice it to say, we'll soon be free-falling...not a physical jump from an airplane but somehow even more intimidating because this is a spiritual leap of faith, with nothing physical to "see." But there's a complete sense that God Himself is in full control of the free-fall. I pray that we can ENJOY it instead of screaming the whole way! :)

I sense that someone reading this is also in position to take some spiritual steps of faith...that in some way God is calling you to step out into something unknown and way out of your comfort zone. I wish I could have pulled you into my dream because there was a deep deep sense of peace in that free-falling...that leap of faith that feels like thin air. Remember, he LOVES faith...faith pleases Him...and in those steps of faith, we can experience amazing miracles and peace that passes all understanding.

Continuing Lessons

2010-03-29T09:26:00.003-04:00

If you are seeking God sincerely...if you are pursuing Him with everything you have...you WILL find Him. Midday yesterday I had an intimate encounter in God's Presence (I'll share more about that in another post), and I was flowing in His Spirit. It was one of those times when you know that you know that you know that God has spoken. His calling was very strong, and His direction was more clear than it has ever been. It was a good morning. I found myself slipping off by myself for a few minutes so that I could soak it in. I pressed up against the window and looked out at the clear day..the squirrels running up the trees, the birds eating out of our feeder, the crispness that marked that moment in time. My soul was unclouded and clear, and I whispered a prayer, "I just want to stay here basking in Your Presence for a bit longer. I want to impress this moment in my mind and heart and soul so that I don't forget it. I don't ever want to doubt that I indeed heard very clearly from You." So, I lingered a few moments in that certainty of His calling...those moments when all my seeking resulted in finding Him. This was honestly a thrill to my soul!

But the flesh is always with us, isn't it? By last night as we were at some friends' house watching the Baylor/Duke game (sad day for us Baylor fans, I must say! :))...I got to talking about a recent situation with my husband's employer. In my mind, it's an ufair situation that is not good for our family. I can definitely see God's Hand in it, but my flesh was upset with certain things that have happened. As I talked about it, my flesh was jumping to the top and not walking in peacemaking. But even before I got home last night, I felt correction in my spirit. Remember my post yesterday about "blessed are the peacemakers?" Well, by last night, I was forgetting to put it into practice. I apologized to my Father for not walking in that peacemaking business.

Today I read a quote that I've read a zillion times, and I yearned more than anything to LIVE this quote. To live this out, I have to crucify that flesh that so easily entangles me and instead walk in the Spirit. Lord, help me to be more like YOU!

I will close today's post with this quote from St. Francis of Assisi:

"Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace that, where there is hatred, I may bring love; that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness; that, where there is discord, I may bring harmony; that, where there is error, I may bring truth; that, where there is doubt, I may bring faith; that, where there is despair, I may bring hope; that, where there are shadows, I may bring light; that, where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted, to understand that to be understood; to love than to be loved; for it is by forgetting self that one finds; it is forgiving that one is forgiven; it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life."

Blessed are the Peacemakers

2010-03-28T08:38:00.008-04:00

I've been struggling lately. The well of my soul is being churned. I've found myself lately being in constant pursuit of God. I want to know which way to point my feet, and the only One who holds the answer to that is God. So, I pursue Him day and night. I wake up early, and even that warm bed isn't tempting lately because I want more than anything to know Him, understand Him...and to know which road He's leading us down.

I've been studying the life of George Mueller by reading some of his own writings. It is affecting my mindset greatly and causing dramatic shifts in the plates beneath my feet. If you don't know who George Mueller is, then google his name. Someday I will post more about him, but one thing I wanted to point out now is that George could have missed out on God's plan for his life. In the beginning of his life, he was involved in many sins that could have dominated his life and stolen his purpose (I can relate to that one myself). But I'm not talking about that. I learned recently that while George was busy about the work God gave him in England, he was asked to go as a missionary to Baghdad. In the natural, this offer looked like an open door from God: They offered to pay all expenses to relocate him...the need was very great to serve in Baghdad...he had always been drawn to serving as a missionary in a place like Baghdad. Some of us (ME) would have jumped right away and said, "Look at this incredible open door!! I'm leaving tomorrow for Baghdad!" Right? I mean...all the signs seemed to be pointing in that direction...and even the expenses had been paid (and George Mueller was trusting God to provide for all his needs). But George didn't jump at it. He sat on it for awhile. For days he prayed and submitted it to God. He spent hours in prayer and Bible study to allow the Holy Spirit to guide his steps. In the end, he didn't go to Baghdad. He stayed in England, and as a result, thousands of orphans were helped physically and spiritually.

So, back to us... We can see several roads stretching out before us with life choices that are all very different. I think of George Mueller, and I realize that some of those options are simply distractions that would keep me from God's true plan. The ONLY way to know is to pursue Him...not just with a quick prayer on the way out the door...but in the kind of seeking children do when they are playing hide-and-seek. Seek and ye shall find. So, I find myself seeking with persistence. I think God enjoys watching us seek His Will, and I think He DELIGHTS to give us the answers.

For months now, I've been seeking Him intently. And that's where the depths of my soul are being churned. Because...ya see...as we seek Him with all diligence, we begin to find answers that we may have heard many times but never grasped. And sometimes those answers are SO HARD. Really, don't we always want the easier route???

Today was one of those mornings. Among the many things I'm studying is a book called Compelled by Love. I've read it four times now, but the concepts are so life-altering that I have to keep going back to sink deeper into it. It's based on the Sermon on the Mount. I know the Scripture and this book almost by heart because I've read them so many times. But today the reality hit me on a deeper level: I have to actually put this stuff into practice!

Compelled By Love is written by a woman who works among the orphans in Mozambique (and, like George Mueller), they rely on God for their every need. They have been persecuted numerous times by people in the country who do not understand their work. Once, when a $20 reward was placed on their heads, they chose to LOVE those persecuting them instead. Their land and buildings were taken from them, and their orphans were mocked and traumatized, and still they all (even those children) chose to love their persecutors and not react in revenge or hate. Love won out, and God provided ultimate protection and deliverance for them. Years later, they were given 7 times as much land and buildings, and the persecutors apologized. That is SO EASY to read, applaud and admire. But so very hard to step towards DOING.

This morning I had an internal struggle that had me restless in my seat. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. But inside me were some very good objections. What about the things I'm standing up against that I feel are really wrong...the people who are doing things that are not right in my eyes? What about the things that come so strongly against my faith...I'm not talking about the world...but Christians who live contrary to the faith that I cling to? What about the person in my own family who said hurtful things that I know are not right? What about when WE are stepping out in faith, knowing God has called, but others are putting up road blocks that we know are not right? What happens when we KNOW we're being wrongly accused or wrongly treated? What about when someone says or does something that hurts our children's feelings? Now, it's getting TOUGH (we could talk all day about that "Mama Bear" that rises in us when someone does something mean to our children!). But blessed are the peacemakers.

God was leading me to something that holds the key... Will I DO what He calls me to do? Or will I take matters into my own hands? One path is hard, the other convenient. One choice is natural, the other supernatural. One way is God's way, the other is my human nature's way. One path holds my life's purpose, while the other is a mere distraction to keep me from my purpose.

And I think of those paths in life...the crossroads. Sometimes I wish it were just one big step...so that I can take it once and be forever pointed the right direction. But it's a moment-by-moment walk. And I don't want to miss God's best. WHEREVER He calls, I want to go. WHATEVER He has planned, that's what I want. And this morning, He called me to come close and listen. He says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." Oh how my humanity struggles with that! But that is the road He's calling me down. Why in the world would I seek so intently, only to go the opposite direction when He calls??

"When we choose the low road--the only road--we never lose. When we respond in the opposite spirit---fight war with love, fight hatred with forgiveness, and repay evil with good--we always win." (Heidi Baker, Compelled By Love).

What It's Really All About

2010-03-26T09:29:00.006-04:00

I've spent the past couple of years (and even deeper in the last few months) RE-learning how to think like Jesus (not like a church or like a good person...but like Jesus). I have more to say about that journey, but for now I will simply post this video. I just stumbled upon this song, and it so deeply echoes my heart and renewed mind that I felt my spirit tune in on every level...I could have SHOUTED because it meshed so exactly with what God has been teaching me. This is what it means to truly follow Jesus WHERE HE IS WALKING. Let it sit in your spirit and ask His Spirit to teach you...it may very well change your life.

(The video box is cut off...someone help me with HOW to change this! The first few scenes have words that are cut off, but you can get the gist...and you can hear the song fine. If you want to view it in full screen, CLICK on this link).

Mac Powell Testimony

2010-03-25T09:28:00.002-04:00

While visiting my friend E's blog, I saw that she had posted this wonderful video. I knew she wouldn't mind if I also posted it. It's only ten minutes long and very worth watching. God's call on my life is to pour out my life for orphans and to share their story. This information is part of their story. If you don't have the time to watch all ten minutes, please watch the last couple of minutes to hear the statistics. It may very well surprise you...and humble, encourage and speak to you. Please pray about what your role is. You may not adopt, but you CAN help in some way (see our website at www.letsrebuildthewall.org for details on HOW to help). And please pass this on to your circle of influence.

Favorites

2010-03-25T08:38:00.003-04:00

One of my sweet friends and fellow workers in the fields of the fatherless recently posed a request on her blog. She reminded us to be appreciative for the little things in life, and she asked that we post our 10 favorite things. I actually thought on this for a day. Many little blessings came to mind, but here is a list of the ones that float to the top:

1) A cup of hot tea (preferably decaf English Breakfast or English Teatime...we cannot buy these in our small town, so my husband sometimes surprises me with picking some up on the way home from work). Oh, and tea must have milk and sugar like they taught me to make it in England.

2) Scottish bagpipes and Celtic music

3) The smell of bookstores

4) The quiet hours of the morning before the sun comes up...the way the morning smells...the sound of the birds waking up for the day...the warm place I cuddle up for my time alone with my God

5) Being on the front porch in the spring and fall when the weather is perfect here in the mountains

6) Snuggling with my children to read good books (we try to do this every afternoon during the little one's nap time)

7) Seeing my children grasp onto their own faith in God...the times they have read amazing accounts of God using someone for His Kingdom, and they say things like, "I want God to use me that way too!"

8) The word "MAMA," especially when it's attached to the rest of a sentence that makes my heart warm (like, "Mama, I love you so much...you're the best Mama in the whole world!").

9) Watching my husband lost in worship with his guitar in his hands...not for performance but rather lost in the Holy Spirit...and my very best memory of him with his guitar was when we were in the orphanage, and he was ministering to those precious children (who had never seen a guitar!)

10) My worn Bible, with notes all through it...and all the pages that have been torn by little hands and then taped back up...the way I know exactly where to find anything in that Bible because I remember having underlined such-and-such in purple ink or having written something on the right side of this or that page

11) (Hey...I just thought of one more that is by far near the very top of my list!!) The absolute exhilaration of stepping onto the thin air of following God fully...the free-falling feeling that I absolute hate in the natural (don't make me go on those rides where you drop a million miles!!)...but in the spiritual, I'm sweetly addicted to free-falling! (Really)

They are Taking a Faith Step

2010-03-23T08:36:00.008-04:00

Several months ago, I "met" a precious Christian woman who learned of our adoption and then contacted me via email. We share similar hearts for orphans, and I've been blessed to get to know her. She and her husband wanted to host an orphan from another country. If you're unfamiliar with this, it's a program where orphans from other countries come to live for a month with an American family. The ultimate goal is to introduce them to Jesus and to find them a forever home if God opens the door. My friend and her husband didn't have the money to do this program, so they waited. The next time the opportunity came up, they didn't have the money again. But soon they learned one of the mind-boggling ironies of stepping into God's heart of caring for orphans. STEP FIRST, and then He will provide the means to do it. She tells this story in her new blog. I encourage you to read it and to become a follower of her blog so that you can have a front row seat as God opens doors to care for His child.

I have heard people say many many times: "Well, we would adopt IF we had the money. Adoption is just so expensive!" Or "We'd host a child if we had to money to do it. Those programs aren't cheap!" I always love to share the story that when we committed to adopt our daughter, we had ZERO money saved for her adoption...not a single penny! And if we had waited until we had enough money to adopt her, I'm almost certain that we would have NEVER had enough money to adopt her. I know this sounds crazy and counter to common sense, but one thing I've learned is that God does not fit into the boxes that our common sense neatly sets up. I believe that God is glorified when we step forward into His calling WITHOUT the means to do it. Hang with me here a minute...

When God calls, it's our job to say YES. It is NOT our job to make sure we have the means to do what He's called us to do. When we wait until we have the means, often it won't happen. WHY? Because when we absolutely cannot do something in our human state, we are brought to the point of HAVING to rely on God to do it. He steps in and performs this amazing miracle of providing all we need...and then HE gets the glory because HE did it! This sounds crazy. I always call it crazy faith. God is pleased with our FAITH...not our human way of coming up with the means to do what He's called us to do. He calls, and we say YES...even if (especially if!!!) it seems impossible to do in our human skin. This is where we see the line between doing things in our flesh and doing them in His Spirit.

Anyway, I was thrilled when our friends stepped out without the money to host this precious child. They stepped FIRST...and then God supplied amazingly (and quickly too!). Please follow their story because it is a walk of faith...so I can assure you that God is going to do some amazing things!

This is what it's about...stepping out to work on your small portion of the wall of orphan ministry. Really...there is something ALL of us can do. Just STEP and trust your Heavenly Father to be faithful to provide all you need.

What if we lived this out every day...

2010-03-20T09:03:00.006-04:00

This was written by John Henry Newman and was one of Mother Teresa's favorite prayers (said EVERY DAY by the Missionaries of Charity):

Dear Lord:

Help me to spread your fragrance wherever I go.

Flood my soul with your spirit and life.

Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of yours.

Shine through me, and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel your presence in my soul.

Let them look up and see no longer me, but only you, O Lord!

Stay with me, then I shall begin to shine as you do; so to shine as to be a light to others.

The light, O Lord, will be all from you; none of it will be mine; it will be you shining on others through me.

Let me thus praise you in the way you love best, by shining on those around me.

Let me preach you without preaching, not by words but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to you.

Amen.

(quoting from the book Compelled by Love by Heidi Baker)

Trading Up

2010-03-12T08:49:00.003-05:00

This morning when I got out of bed, it was cold in the house. I slipped on a light sweater but still had goose bumps on my arms. The room had that pre-dawn dark that only shows the shadows of things. I could make out the outline of one of my warmer sweaters on our cedar chest where I had left it last night. I reached down to get it, but for a split second, I stopped myself. I was really chilly, and the sweater I was wearing was starting to get warmer with my body heat. You may not understand this unless you are as cold-natured as I am, but I actually dreaded those few seconds when I took off one sweater and before I could get the other one on. Plus, the new sweater (though it was a fuzzy and much warmer than the one I was wearing) would actually feel colder because it had not yet had body heat in it. The thought of putting on a colder sweater was not appealing, so I paused to weigh this minor choice that felt like a major choice so early in the morning.

As I reached for my fuzzy sweater and took off my other sweater, in my spirit I could hear my Shepherd's voice: "See...this is what it's like to trade your plans for mine." Again, the training and the guidance of my Shepherd was at a moment when I least expected it...but again so very clear. It's trading up. It's not like trading your peanut butter sandwich for a pimento cheese sandwich (although, for me that IS trading up!). But it's much much more. It's like trading your peanut butter sandwich for a 7-course meal (the kind at an elegantly set table with more forks than a person reasonably knows what to do with!).

Why do we hang onto the old sweater? Why do we insist on holding on to the less-than-best when the very best is only one decision away? Why do we cringe when we hear that we are to lay down our lives in order to find them? I think it's because we don't want to lose what's familiar to us. We don't want to lose what is easy for us to control and exchange it for something that is not within our realm of control. We like control, don't we??? We forfeit the BEST in order to have the comfortable. Sounds crazy, but we do it every day of our lives.

From the book Living in the Light of Eternity: "Have you seen how the wind comes and carries off the dry leaves from beheath a tree? That is the best way for me to explain what I mean. Let the wind of God blow you away and carry you wherever He wishes. And then what? Don't we need to know more than that? No. I do not know where the Lord will have you or me go tomorrow or next year. All I know is that I am standing on emptiness and declaring total dependence on the Lord. I am but a handful of dust. I have nothing in myself that I can cling to, no strength of my own to carry me. It is He who leads me, whether that means having everything or having nothing. All that matters is Him."

I went downstairs (in my fuzzy warm sweater!) and curled up in my favorite quiet spot. I did some reading and praying. And while I was praying, an interesting vision filled my mind's eye. I could see a long white/blank path...it stretched on for what seemed like forever...just a blank road with no markings, no buildings, no anything. And down the road I could see Jesus. So, it was me and Jesus and in between us was this empty blank path. This picture came to me as I was praying because my prayer was, "I give it all to you. I lay it all down...all my ideas and plans. All I want is YOUR plan for my life. I don't even know the details of what that means, but I'm committing to doing whatever You lead me to do." So, I could picture the road ahead that looks blank and empty...at least as far as my human eyes can see...because there's nothing that I'm inserting into it. There's no "well, I'll follow You if you include this in my life" or "I'll agree to Your plan if I can be assured that I can have this in my life." No...it's a blank path. This is the path that cannot be navigated by sight. Faith is the only compass for this one. But this is the better path...the best path. It requires trading up...giving up the familiar warm path in order to gain the unpredictable, every-winding path of unending adventure and unseen treasures. It may carry me where I never wanted or dreamed I'd go. It may wind through some valleys that I wouldn't want to walk through. It may feel like thin air every step of the way. But up ahead on that path, I see Jesus. He's a kind Shepherd, and He's beckoning to "Come follow me." I'm glad the path looks blank because it makes His footsteps much more visibly pronounced.

Standing on Emptiness

2010-03-11T08:17:00.006-05:00

From the book Living in the Light of Eternity, by K.P. Yohannan (book can be found at Gospel for Asia's web site) :

"God wants us, in our life and ministry for Him, to stand on emptiness. What is emptiness? It is a void, a vacuum, total nothing-ness. It is like holding onto something you cannot tangibly feel. Your eyes see nothing but still you follow. Your feet step out onto what looks like thin air. Standing on emptiness means we are stripped of not only tangible things but intangible as well. Everything we are, everything we trust--our own know-how, abilities, talents, strength--all are gone. Nothing we do for the Lord can ever come from our own resources.

"The Lord wants us to come to a place where we are drawing on nothing but Him so that, as Paul said, 'this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us' (2 Cor. 4:7). There is no way we can say, 'I did that.'

"Throughout the Bible we see God drawing His people to a place where they were suspended over empty space, where they were challenged to operate out of faith and total dependence, where there was nothing tangible to cling to but Him."

This is where we're being drawn...to stand on emptiness...to step into the unknown...to jump into His Plan for our lives, even though we cannot see or feel the ground beneath us. We are praying that we will indeed count the cost and choose the road less travelled...the road that stretches out, suspended over empty space.

My Jesus

2010-03-10T09:43:00.007-05:00

My oldest daughter is always asking me what my favorite things are...favorite color, favorite movie, favorite book. Most of the time I cannot give a solid answer because I tend to like many different things. Favorite color...well, I like when there are several bright colors all together. Favorite movie...it all depends on my mood. Favorite book...there are just TOO MANY great books for me to choose just one as my favorite! (I'm a book-lover!)

She recently asked me about my favorite song, and again, it really depends on my mood or the place I'm at in life. But, topping my list is this song because it mirrors my deepest desires and most intense thoughts...it challenges me...and it just cuts to the core of the meaning of my life. I tried very hard to get this YouTube video pasted right into this blog, but for some crazy reason it allows me to copy it but will never give me the option of pasting it no matter which way I go about it. So, I'll simply include the LINK TO THE SONG so that you can listen to it and see the video. *** For those of you who have children who sometimes watch online with you, I will give the PG-13 warning on this one...for violent scenes and one word that you wouldn't want your children repeating to Aunt Bessie! :) I love this song, and it forces us to look at things the way they really are...not a sugar-coated version of what we'd rather think about. ***

Making decisions

2010-03-08T08:39:00.007-05:00

As I was enjoying my quiet time alone with my Father this morning, I was seeking Him on a very specific question.

Well let me back up a bit... We are at a crossroads in our lives. We are at the edge of a few different paths, each of which will lead us in a certain direction...life choices, job choices, security choices, ministry choices, lots of choices all at once. Early yesterday morning, I was seeking Him about which direction He wanted us to go. (One thing I've learned is that no matter how great something seems, I do NOT want to go that route unless God is walking that road with me!) So, I was drawing close to Him yesterday in the pre-crazy hours in our home, and I wrote a question in my journal, asking Him which direction He was calling us.

He led me very directly to 4 passages of Scripture that all tied in together in a way they never had before in my heart. Two of those Scriptures I really poured over were Matthew 13:44-46 and Matthew 25:31-46. One talks of the Kingdom of Heaven being like a treasure in a field that is found accidentally by a man. In his excitement, he hides the treasure again, sells all he owns and goes back to buy the field and to get the treasure too. The other Scripture talks about those who will inherit the Kingdom. He says that those who have served "the least of these" (fed the hungry, clothed the naked, invited strangers into our homes, etc) will inherit the Kingdom because whatever you do to the "least of these," you also do to Jesus. I sat pondering and soaking in these 2 passage of Scriptures. Later, my husband and I discussed them at length and in light of all the life choices we were making. If we decided to grasp the message, we knew we were being called to "sell all and buy the field."

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in divine appointments. And yesterday morning we had one. After a long time of pondering Matthew 13 and Matthew 25, I went about my morning things. I made brunch for my family. After Sunday brunch, we almost always watch a sermon online from a nearby church that always challenges us in our spiritual walk. This has been our Sunday morning routine for a long time (we go to our local church on Sunday nights). We tuned in and found that yesterday we just couldn't get their live message. We tried 3 times, and by then I knew that there must be another message we were supposed to hear. I looked on their main page of online videos and saw one about Haiti (the pastor had traveled to Haiti last month). We love Haiti and were intrigued, so we settled in to watch his message that had been recorded over there. The title was "Treasure in the Field---Haiti." If you're interested in watching it, here's the link: www.jentezenfranklin.org/watch/ And as we listened to his message, my husband and I exchanged glances several time because Pastor Franklin quoted Matthew 13 and Matthew 25...the EXACT same Scriptures that God had given us that same morning. We KNEW beyond a shadow of any doubt that God was speaking to us.

His message? The treasure is in the field...go where the need is...pour your lives into serving "the least of these," and you will find hidden treasures of God's Kingdom...sell all and buy the field. Clear as day, that is His message to us. That is the direction He's calling us...to sell all and buy the field.

So, back to today...I was up early praying for direction. The question I wrote in my journal was this: "What does 'selling all to buy the field' look like in our lives?" We want to understand what specifically that means for us. My husband and I have committed to praying about it until we have very clear direction. This morning, I found a note in my Bible that said, "MAKE YOUR CHOICES FROM AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE."

What a concept! Stop and think about that one for a few minutes, and you'll find your whole mindset shifting. It's almost mind-boggling to consider what our lives would be like if we "sold all to buy the field," whatever that means in our own personal lives. Whatever form it takes, it means living with an eternal mindset...investing in things eternal. It speaks of giving up everything we THINK we are secure in and exchanging it for what FEELS insecure but in reality is the best security we could ever grasp our hands around. This mindset is upside-down, backwards and inside-out from the way we are trained in our society to think.

Those phrases keep running through my mind over and over: Make your choices from an eternal perspective. Sell all to buy the field.

The Jump

2010-03-07T16:10:00.004-05:00

I've been missing from blog world lately. You can almost always be assured that when there's silence on this blog, there's stuff going on behind-the-scenes. :) Since making the decision to step out, we've had some soul-searching, revamping of plans, changes in details...not to mention some serious action in the training end of it all. Picture an athlete stepping forward to pursue his Olympic dream...remember all of his long hard days in training before ever making it to the Olympics...remember all the times he falls down and gets back up...remember all the training and focus that goes into his every day...that's where we are.

Yesterday our youngest daughter was standing on the bed, ready for me to pick her up. I held out my hands for her to jump into them. She excitedly walked to the edge of the big bed and jumped into my arms. Now, this is no big deal for most children, but for our daughter this is a big step in the trust department. She was adopted just 7 months ago, and she did not naturally trust us at first. In fact, sometimes she still stresses out when I sling the diaper bag over my shoulder to walk out the door...she still thinks there's a good chance that I'll leave her. So, we are working on trust. She wasn't always so sure about jumping into my arms, but now she does it with ease. Yesterday, my husband was in the room when she was standing on the bed. I said, "Hey..watch and see what God wants us to be like!" I looked at our daughter and said, "Okay, come on!" And she headed to the edge of the bed and stepped off into what could have easily felt like thin air...but as her little feet left the bed, my arms reached out and caught her. It made me SMILE to know that her trust had grown so much in 7 months!

And each time she jumps into my arms, it speaks to my spirit. That's what God wants from ME! He wants me to know Him and trust Him so intensely that when He says, "Okay, come on!" I will jump with complete trust. That not only means that I jump...but that I do NOT hesitate...that I do NOT rethink all the things that could happen, as if He would somehow forget to catch me. I took tremendous joy in expecting our daughter to jump into my arms, and I imagine that God takes joy in watching ME jump into His...even when I cannot see how He'll catch me. Our daughter just KNOWS I'll catch her. Do I know God will catch me??? I mean really KNOW it...to the point that I actually do it...with no hesitation.

Today as I was washing some dishes after lunch, I was looking out my kitchen window (which overlooks the woods behind our house), and I noticed movement way (wayyyyyy) up on a tree limb. It was a squirrel jumping from one tree to another. Imagine jumping from one tree to another...not down low where the forest ground is close-by and nicely padded with leaves...but rather way up high where one slip of the feet will surely end in splattered squirrel!! I kept looking at that squirrel and thinking how dumb he was to jump on tiny tree limbs several stories above the ground. As I watched him, he decided to just sit on a thin limb and put his front feet in his mouth...as if he were eating a snack...no big deal. DUMB SQUIRREL! Who eats snacks at dangerous heights?? And it hit me: GOD MADE HIM TO DO THAT! It's not dumb when it's just what God made him to do (and just a note...we have many squirrels on our property, and I've never found one who died from falling from these tall trees...amazing isn't it!?).

When we do what God created us to do...even when it's crazy and something akin to that squirrel jumping from limb to limb way up in the trees...we have to just JUMP. Like our daughter taught me...it takes full trust to be able to jump. Like the squirrel taught me...when God creates you to do something, you can land even the craziest of leaps onto the thinnest of limbs. JUST JUMP (and maybe even enjoy a snack at death-defying heights while you're up there!).

Stepping Out

2010-02-15T08:57:00.002-05:00

God gave us the book of Nehemiah as a blueprint for our ministry. I've read it, taken notes, read it again, studied it in detail. And I'm AMAZED at how it has over and over again pointed the direction we were supposed to walk. Only God could do that! Think about it...that book was written eons ago, and it's not one of the more popular and widely-read books of the Bible...yet here we are in 2010 getting our instruction from Nehemiah's rebuilding project. I'm overwhelmed by God's amazing ways that are far FAR above our own ways!

So, we began to follow Nehemiah's blueprint many moons ago. We started by mourning. When Nehemiah saw the wall of Jerusalem in shambles, he CRIED. When we began to understand the immensity of 143 million orphans, we also CRIED. Nehemiah began to confess his sins and the sins of his country in letting the wall stay in ruins. We began to confess our sins and the sins of the greater Church for letting these orphans (God's children) slip through our fingers. Nehemiah fasted and prayed. We fasted and prayed. Nehemiah then waited. We've waited (and waited and waited).

And here is where we deviated from the plan. We kept waiting and waiting and waiting. We honestly believed that we were right in waiting...timing wasn't right, doors hadn't opened, etc. Perhaps it wasn't time to STEP OUT. But this morning in my quiet time I went to God with a direct question: "Are we right to wait on God, or is HE the one waiting on us?" We've been feeling immense "labor pains," needing to expand the area of the "wall" we are working on. I asked God about these labor pains, and again He was good good GOOD to answer.

I looked in Nehemiah again to see exactly what and how Nehemiah proceeded. I was looking at some notes that I have in my Bible from a sermon we heard about Nehemiah (10 years ago in a church in another state!), and look what it said: "Nehemiah had faith and passion. When God plants a seed in you, until you go after it, you will be miserable. Until you BIRTH that passion, you'll have labor pains. If God gives you something, you have to go after it!!! God won't give a passion and then not water it. He WILL take care of it!"

Did you catch that? I actually prayed, asking God about our "labor pains," and He led me to notes that had the exact same wording in it. I'm always amazed at His voice and the way He can deliver an answer in clarity just when we really need it!

I studied Nehemiah again. What did Nehemiah do after he had mourned, prayed, fasted and waited on God? He went to the one person who had the means to help him do the work he needed to do. Remember, Nehemiah saw the need of the wall needing to be rebuilt, but he didn't have any means to do that. But he knew that the king had the position and the materials necessary to do it. So, Nehemiah prayed for God's favor, and then he asked the king if he could go rebuild the wall. When the king said yes, Nehemiah then went on to ask him for the materials necessary to do the work. See...if Nehemiah had all the materials, he wouldn't have had to rely on God to make the way.

We have found ourselves in a similar situation for many months. We have a vision that we believe with all our hearts that God has given us to serve "the least of these." Over the past 2 years, that vision has been expanded, deepened, focused and confirmed in many ways. We've waited for a long time, continuing to pray and seek Him...and not wanting to step ahead of Him. Hence, my prayer this morning: "Are we waiting on YOU, or are you waiting on US?"

Nehemiah stepped out.

We are stepping out. We are bathing this in prayer, asking God to close any doors that we knock on if they are not the right doors. But we are taking our feet and swinging them over the side of the boat...we are touching the water with our toes and getting ready to stand up on that water.

My husband joined me for the end of my quiet time this morning, and I shared this with him. He agreed and asked me a question: "WHAT IS STOPPING US?" The fact of the matter is that the only thing stopping us from doing what we know we've bene called to do is our lack of money to do what we feel led to do. (I cannot share details just yet, but I will...really!). We have a vision God has given us, but we don't have the means to do it. Again, JUST LIKE NEHEMIAH! (Wasn't God so good in giving us Nehemiah as a blueprint??).

It reminds us of when God called us to adopt our youngest daughter. He called us to it, but we didn't have a single PENNY of the necessary money to make it happen. We were looking at a mountain of $17,000, and we didn't even have a penny of it. We didn't even have enough for the very first step in the process!! If we had waited until we could afford it, we would have never adopted her. Because...here's the secret...when God calls, sometimes we don't have the means UNTIL we step forward. With our adoption, He provided step-by-step...when we needed money for the homestudy, He'd provide that much (not more usually). That kept us relying on God for every day, ever step. Isn't that where He wants us? Oh, and the amazing reality is that when we are living with that moment-by-moment reliance on Him, there's peace...and there's provision that we'd lack otherwise.

After the adoption was finalized, and we no longer needed that day-to-day provision, we quit relying on Him for everything. We began to become reliant on ourselves. We're like that as humans. But I MISS that flying-by-faith thing that takes us from "just living" to THRIVING! It's the type of faith that George Mueller had, and it gets into my bones and inspires me to live on that "thin air" faith that he had.

So, all of this to say that we are stepping out. There are some very tangible things we feel led to do to serve "the least of these." There's a vision God has planted in our hearts. We're stepping out of the boat, with absolutely no human means of doing what He's called us to. It's thin air...it's crazy faith...and ya know what? It feels very FREE-ing to again walk by faith, not by sight.

If we are wrong in stepping out now, we are simply praying for God to correct us in our spirits. We pray and step. Pray and step. The Lord is our Shepherd...He leads us along the paths of righteousness for His Name's sake... Pray and step...pray and step.

Today's Plan

2010-02-02T08:55:00.003-05:00

While Jesus was praying to His Father near the end of his earthly life, He said something that keeps echoing through my mind. It's something I yearn to be able to say about my own life. In John 17:4, He says, "I brought glory to you here on earth by doing everything you told me to do."

Unfortunately, unlike Jesus, I've already failed at that because there have been many things I have not done that I was supposed to do. I'm so thankful that I don't get into Heaven by the good things I do because I'd NEVER make it on my own! Thank you, Jesus, for saving me by Your grace alone, instead of my "good behavior." But I'm not talking about being saved. I'm talking about an amazing focus to aim at...having the single purpose of doing everything He has told me to do.

But, how does that break down into TODAY's plans?

Well, it's quite simple really. He's told me to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and to love others as myself. Can't it be summed up like that? Isn't that what Jesus said? So, today I aim to keep Jesus in the forefront of my mind...to try to walk in His footsteps...to love my husband and children like He would. That means slowing down to listen when my mind wants to drift to my must-do's...making eye contact when I'd naturally tend to keep moving on to the next moment...praising the good I see instead of sawing on the rough edges. A simple focus does not mean it's EASY! Today specifically, we are taking the time to sit down to rethink through some family courtesy issues because the tone of voice the past few days has not been lovely between siblings. :)

These are not earth-moving plans, but it's what He's given me to do this day, this moment. If I follow Him step-by-step...if I aim with all my heart to just focus on the steps He takes and follow Him...then perhaps at the end of today I can say, "I brought glory to you here on earth by doing everything you told me to do."

The Secret Game

2010-01-29T08:12:00.003-05:00

Starting today, our family is embarking on a week-long game of sorts. Each person chooses a "game" they will play, but nobody can know what it is. For example, let's say that I wanted my game to be called "Servant of All." I would go about my week trying to be "servant of all" to my whole family, without telling them what I was doing. I would go the extra mile to help each person. I would serve no matter how inconvenient. I would put each person ahead of myself in everything all week. At the end of the week, we will come together for our family fun night (always on Friday), and we will then get to guess what each person's "game" has been all week.

The theme of the game is up to each person. It could be patience, servanthood, unconditional love, etc. Our children had great fun coming up with their ideas. They even created code words so that they could remember their theme but also keep their idea secret from the rest of the family. The only rule is that their game must be played for the benefit of others, not themselves.

I have a really neat theme for my own game (I'll tell you next Friday). I'm finding out that it's harder than it sounds (I had the idea a few days ago and began to try to implement). It requires focus. It also cuts through any "I'll-do-this-for-you-if-you'll-do-this-for-me" because it's done in secret. And, it requires ACTIONS, which are often much harder to come by than words. Today is officially Day #1 of our game, and I've already been in prayer today that I can DO this thing! :)

I'll let you know how the week goes...

If you decide to do this in your family, I'd love to hear what games you played and how your week went!

A Servant's Heart

2010-01-18T09:49:00.004-05:00

Does every parent have something they tend to say over and over to their children? Ya know...the phrase that just seems to come up all the time. One of my friends always says, "Do everything in love." I like that one. And in our family, the often-repeated phrase is "Let's have a servant's heart." When there are only 2 cookies left and 3 children who want those cookies, I say, "Who is going to have a servant's heart and give up their cookie to someone else?" When one child isn't feeling well, I will ask the other children, "How can we serve your brother (sister) today to make them feel better?" When I catch a child giving up a treasured item even though they really want to keep it themselves, I melt into praises of, "You have such a beautiful servant's heart!"

Some days are better than others. Sometimes it feels as though I talk to the walls. :) Sometimes I wonder if they are really "getting it." And then there are those moments when I get a glimpse that makes my heart soar...those short but wonderful moments when I can see that they really ARE listening to Mama talking about that servant's heart!

This weekend I lost my voice. Have you ever tried to parent 4 children without being able to talk to them?? :) It was a challenging weekend, needless to say. Early Saturday morning my oldest daughter told me to stay in bed. Soon, she came up the stairs with our tea tray lined with a pretty cloth and topped with hot tea, a plate full of nuts (arranged creatively), a cross bookmark and a sweet note on the napkin saying, "I love Mama!" She set the tea tray on the bed and then closed our bedroom door to leave me alone while she took the little ones to play while Mama had her tea. And as I sat in our cozy bed drinking that hot tea in the peaceful quiet of the morning, I felt ministered to. Something in that simple display of love filled up my soul. And I had to smile. All the times of talking about having a servant's heart...all the times when Mama was the one to serve the tea to a sad child...all the times of ministering to our family with pretty things like sandwiches arranged in a fun pattern on the plate or hidden notes to say "I love you"...all those little daily things that I try hard to remember to do... It all sinks in somehow. And on Saturday morning I was reaping some of the fruit of those moments, and I was BLESSED to see a servant's heart in one of my children (especially without me having to remind them to do it!). :) I'll always remember that cup of tea that made my throat feel soothed and my heart feel even better.

I think sometimes it's easier to serve people we don't know. Sometimes it's easier to put together a box of food for the food pantry than to do something selfless for those in our own home. We DO need to give to the food pantry...DEFINITELY...we are supposed to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, open our home to those who need it. But we are also to love those in our own home with a selfless love...a love that lays down our lives (our rights!) for our spouse, our children, our siblings. That's a tall order! Sometimes it's so hard to be selfless (again!) in our marriage or family relationships. But, if we cannot love and serve in our own home, how can we have love to overflow to others who need us? We work on the walls of our own home (rebuild relationships, keep a secure foundation, etc), and then we will have love to overflow into rebuilding the wall of orphan ministry.

It all starts with a servant's heart.

Heart Transplant

2010-01-15T04:57:00.008-05:00

I awoke at 3am with that familiar feeling that it was once again time for some pruning in my life. It has been a rough couple of weeks. No, nothing major...at least not from an outside perspective.

See, we're in our focused prayer month. We set aside the first part of the year for seeking God's Will for the next year. It's always a time of great hope of the blessings we know He's going to bring, but it's also a time of pruning for the fruit He wants to bear in our lives. Do you know that pruning HURTS??

We are in specific prayer about something "big" that will expand this orphan ministry, and I was in high hopes that He'd deliver it NOW. But, instead, every time I seek Him, He leads me to confessing my sins and asking for a new tender heart with right desires. Almost every day during my quiet prayer and Bible time, this is the same place He leads me. One day, without trying to, I ran across THREE Scriptures (ones I've rarely seen) that said the same thing: Confess your sins...God will replace your stony heart of sin with a tender heart with right desires. So, I can take a hint. :) I began to pray for this new tender heart.

As the days of focused prayer passed, a horrible "unearthing" of things began. Old memories of hurt..angry feelings of things long past. Pretty soon, my heart was a mess of sewage that I hadn't realized was hidden deep inside under layers and layers. (And I was becoming a very grumpy person to be around!!) Still, the digging went on...imagine it as digging up things from a pit. Soon, up from the pit came a huge heavy weight of RESENTMENT...much too heavy for one woman to lift. I began to pray for God to lift it for me. Days of prayer passed before I noticed that there was something under the resentment...more to dig up! Just behind resentment lay a series of REJECTIONS...both little rejections from elementary school (amazing how those feelings can stick with you!) and big rejections from people in my life who hurt me deeply...the kind of hurt that is raw and exposes nerves and arteries...the kind of hurt that heals very slowly and leaves an ugly scar that never goes away completely.

Here I was trying to devote my month to seeking God, and instead I found myself exhausted and dirty from all the digging! By yesterday I was ready to throw in the towel and quit this focused prayer time (it was much much too difficult this time!). I sat during my Bible time and just stared at the cover of my Bible, not even having the energy to open it. All I could think of was this mess I was sitting in, and all I could seem to grasp from Him was: confess your sins and let Him give you a new tender heart with right desires. But, to be gut-level honest with you, although I hated the slime of that pit, I couldn't seem to get my hands to let go of the rejections.

That brings me to 3am today. I woke up, and I knew it was surgery time. I began to ask God to please please please help me to pry my hands off of all the rejection and resentment. I began to envision Him opening my heart and taking out the junk...like delicate heart surgery. And then I said, "NO!" It all came together in one moment... I didn't want my heart opened and this stuff removed. No, I wanted a whole new heart! Ahhh, yes...confess your sins and let Him give you a new tender heart. So, I just asked Him outright for a whole new heart. Right there in my bed at 3am, He began the process of a heart transplant.

BUT WHY???? Remember how we're in focused prayer? Remember how we are seeking His direction for this new year? Remember the "big thing" we are praying and believing Him for? I cannot get into details yet (maybe soon!), but this "big thing" will expand orphan ministry on many levels. It has the potential to reach many orphans. It will play a huge role in rebuilding the wall of orphan ministry. We know He's led us to this...we know it's for HIS Kingdom...so, why in the world did I have to go through this major detour to dig up such deeply buried awful slime in my own heart? I'd much rather be about the big business!

Let me share a picture with you. It's not one I've shared with many people. I usually share the hundreds of happy pictures of our daughter. She loves the camera, and she is almost always so joyful that she makes the best subject for photos! :) But one day I grabbed my camera to catch this moment...

This was about a month after being home. This is the face of grief. She is 3 years old and doesn't have the words to vocalize what's in her heart. Instead, she would "go away" into her own little world far far away from us, and silent tears would fall down her cheeks. This was her grieving process...grieving for the familiar orphanage she left, grieving for the many goodbyes she's had to endure in her short life, grieving with the uncertainty of whether or not we will leave her someday. Lots of hurt in that little heart.

My friend who has been instrumental in orphan ministry once gave a speech that I took several notes on, and I've gone back many many times to those notes. And this morning at 3am one of her points came screaming out of my brain as if I had finally put 2 and 2 together! She said that orphans need a home that can foster FORGIVENESS because forgiveness is the key to their healing.

Why have I been struggling for many days over the "unearthing" of so many painful things from my heart? It wasn't a detour. No, it was a direct route. Sometimes God prepares a road for us to walk that leads through strange and seemingly awful places. But in that uprooting of all the painful memories of rejection and resentment, I was being placed in similar shoes that the orphans will be placed in. In a small way, I was feeling their pain and understanding a glimpse of where they are coming from. It's not enough to pray for them to find a forever home, and it's not even enough to GIVE them a forever home. We have to pray for them to have a forever home that will foster forgiveness so that they can heal. We cannot take away their past, any more than we can take away our own pasts. But we can hold them as they grieve, and we can walk beside them as they learn to forgive all the feelings of rejection and not let the rejection turn into resentment. We have to feel their pain and walk their road and lead them ever so gently toward the Master Physician who specializes in heart transplants.

But first we have to undergo our own heart transplants. Mine was this morning. Healing is not always quick after surgery. Please pray for healing and for my strength to return in due time.

And the "big thing" we're praying for? Well, I believe THIS is the big thing. We learn to forgive so that we can lead them to forgive. We excavate all our old rejections and resentment and anger. We learn to LET GO, and we ask God to give us new tender hearts so that we can lead others on that same path. Unless we've been orphans ourselves, we can never fully grasp their pain and sense of rejection, but we can lead them to forgiveness with the compassion that comes from having dug up our own pit of rejections and resentment. We can point them toward our God who specializes in giving NEW hearts.

He's bringing workers into the fields...

2010-01-05T08:21:00.005-05:00

Before I blog on the subject, here's a glimpse back at our Christmas season... It was truly a beautiful time for our family as we were beside our youngest daughter as she experienced the wonder of the season for the first time in our home! SO many neat "firsts." This time last year we had just submitted our paperwork and were waiting, waiting, waiting for word on whether we were chosen as her family. I think of those many nights when I went to bed knowing that my daughter was on another continent where I couldn't tuck her into bed or hold her when she cried (or comfort her when she broke her arm last year!), and I find myself hugging her more tightly and being so appreciative of her presence in our home. Sometimes at night when she is asleep, I look at her and think, "Wow...she used to be on the other side of the globe, and here she is asleep under our roof." It's a miracle. I am beyond thankful that we didn't miss out on this. I'm thankful that, for once, we didn't make a decision based on our comfort or convenience. Words cannot express how truly thankful I am that God led us "over the edge" out of our comfort zone and into a faith journey...and we followed. Talk about finding hidden treasures! This little girl is one of the most incredible treasures on the planet! God is really so good. Why do I ever doubt????

So, here we are in January, and we've headed into our month of focused prayer for direction in this new year. If you've never done a season of fasting and prayer, I highly recommend it. It will change your life! Click here if you have interest in that.

God speaks in amazing ways. Sometimes it's in Scripture that speaks to everyone...like "Do not be afraid" or "Love your neighbor." And sometimes He has a very specific message for just me. I believe He has messages for all of us, and sometimes we are too busy to hear Him. I know I've probably been busy way too many times and have missed his precious voice in my spirit. I have found that as I've slowed down my pace and have become more still and quiet in my inner being, I hear Him more. One day last year as we were waiting for news on our adoption (the waiting process is just so hard sometimes!), I was walking to the mailbox. It was very quiet outside, and I was having a conversation with Jesus (he's my best friend, and I find myself always conversing with Him). I was asking Him to please hurry along our adoption process...please place this child in our home SOON. And He stopped me...I mean, I literally felt compelled to STOP moving and just stand there. I became very quiet, and I heard His voice in my spirit. All I heard was, "Look," and I began to look. Straight ahead of me was a little branch hanging down from a tree, and there was a drop of water hanging from a point on the branch. It just hung there and never dripped. I was fascinated (we're homeschoolers, so this would have been a great time to gather everyone around for a lesson in gravity :)...but I just stood still and watched). The drop of water grew little by little...it was getting heavier and heavier and still not falling. I kept thinking, "Surely it's time for that drop to fall...it cannot hold on much longer because it's getting so heavy." Still it hung on. Then DRIP. Phew! I felt like I had waited forever. And then I knew the lesson He was giving me: wait and watch, and in HIS time our daughter would join our family...it cannot be hurried...it's in HIS time...and even when we don't see it, He's working and bringing it closer. See, this is the ongoing relationship I have with my Savior. He DOES still speak. He cares about each of us dearly, and He has individual lessons and conversations He wants to have with us. I believe that with all my heart. Sometimes we just miss it in our busy-ness of life.

Anyway, recently He gave me a Scripture that intrigued me. It was Ezekiel 36. Ezekiel isn't a book I typically open to. :) But He gave me a chapter to read. I always know that when He gives me a passage of Scripture, He has a lesson or word for me. He spoke to me in verses 25-27 about Him washing me and taking away my stony heart of sin and giving me a new heart with right desires. Now THAT I need!! And then in verses 33-36 He had this wonderful message: "When I cleanse you from your sins, I will bring people to live in your cities, and the ruins will be rebuilt. The fields that used to lie empty and desolate--a shock to all who passed by--will again be farmed. And when I bring you back, people will say, 'This godforsaken land is now like Eden's garden! The ruined cities now have strong walls, and they are filled with people!' Then the nations all around--all those still left--will know that I, the Lord, rebuilt the ruins and planted lush crops in the wilderness. For I, the Lord, have promised this, and I will do it."

This Scripture is talking about the restoration of Israel. But because God led me very specifically to that Scripture, I knew He had a message for me in there too. I was overwhelmed when I saw the words "the ruins will be rebuilt." I thought He was just confirming our vision to rebuild the wall of orphan ministry. I was thankful for that, but I didn't think anything else of it.

Fast forward to the past several weeks... People began to approach us. Some emailed to say they wanted to know how to help orphans. Others emailed to ask if they could set up a prayer ministry to have a group pray for certain orphans. Some told us they collected money for orphans at their Christmas party. Some have asked us to have dinner with them so that they could talk about adoption. Some have asked to have dinner so that we could talk with them about opportunities for working at orphanages. People at our church have asked how they can get involved. Even people we don't know have approached us and shared their new burden for orphans. People are starting to ask, "What can I do to help?" And I was truly caught off-guard.

To be honest with you, the "fields of the fatherless" have seemed very quiet at times. Sometimes I feel that we can hear our echo echo echo when we speak. There are other workers in those fields, but it hasn't been often that we've come across them. So, when people started coming to us and asking, "How do I help? What can we do? We have a burden for these children"...well, I wasn't fully prepared. I was surprised at so many "workers" in the field all at once.

Yesterday as I was in focused prayer, God brought Ezekiel 36 to me again. And this time my eyes saw what He was saying. The ruins WILL be rebuilt. The fields that used to be desolate will be filled with people. God Himself is busy rebuilding the wall of orphan ministry, and I am to simply be His vessel. Wow...how do I miss these things so often? He speaks...do I EXPECT to hear Him?? He answers prayers...do I EXPECT that He really will rebuild these walls of orphan ministry? He said He will bring people...do I really believe Him? Forgive me for not being as prepared for all the wonderful responses and questions and support many have shown. I believe He's bringing many people into these fields to work...some to adopt, some to work in orphanages, some to give financially, some to pray...many many to work. And now that He has refocused me, I'm back on track with His vision.

Really...if you want to help...if you feel your heart moved but don't know what to do, please contact us. We're now expecting you. :)

A gift with meaning

2009-12-21T08:50:00.008-05:00

Lookie what our friends delivered to our house yesterday! I've had a lot of meaningful gifts given to me in my life, and this one ranks right up there among the top! It's a tea platter with all our favorite things: homemade gingerbread muffins, tea bags, a CD, a candle, and a jar of "Russian Tea Mix" with an orphan ministry message on it!

Here's an up-close of the Russian Tea Mix, and on the lid you'll see a cute homemade "tag" that looks like a tea bag. And there's Kirill on the front. Kirill is the precious little boy I blogged about recently. Look at the message: "Remember to pray for Kirill and Russian orphans."

I cannot express in words how thrilled I was to receive such a meaningful gift. It was more than a gift. It was an encouraging reminder that there are sincere prayer warriors who are lifting up these children who so desperately need someone in their corner. And it was also a creative twist to being an advocate for orphans. If one person in every church or community would give similar gifts to their friends for birthdays and special occasions, just think of how many orphans would be prayed for and thought about throughout the year. This has given me HUGE encouragement and lots of little ideas that are spiraling off of it.

Kirill's tea bag is now hanging on our refrigerator as a daily reminder to pray for this little guy!

Trust and Silence

2009-12-17T07:48:00.006-05:00

Some of our friends loaned us a wonderful book that we've been reading. It's called Lady on a Donkey, by Beth Prim Howell. I had never heard of this book, but it is a treasure. It's one that gets the beautiful chant from our children: "Read one more chapter, Mama. Please...just one more chapter!" It is the story of Lillian Trasher who was a missionary to Egypt and worked with hundreds of orphans. As we've been reading through it, I've felt the Holy Spirit impress many things on my heart. Lillian trusted God for everything...their daily food, their clothing, etc. They lived hand-to-mouth, which we tend to shun in American society...but for Lillian, it was a beautiful daily gift "from God's Hand to Lillian's mouth." This simple trust propels me forward in the same direction. I YEARN for that simple trust in my Heavenly Father, and that appears to be the road He's walking me down with many lessons in practicing this simple faith that is profound enough to move mountains. And the one lesson that stands out to me above all the others in this book is: SILENCE.

When there was no more food in the orphanage (every few days or so), Lillian would climb onto her donkey in search of food for all the children. Before her donkey set out on the journey, she would pray, "Which way do I go, Lord?" And then she'd sit in total silence waiting for (expecting!) His voice. She'd hear Him, and she'd head out in the direction He said. Sometimes to the north, sometimes to the south, sometimes to a new village, sometimes to a village she had visited before...but ALWAYS in the direction He told her. And every time she'd arrive at the intended village, they would always give her precisely what she needed for all the children in the orphanage. When we first began to read the book, we'd hold on in suspense as we hoped in our hearts that she'd find the food and supplies she needed. And, after watching God answer time after time, soon we began to KNOW in our hearts that she'd receive all she needed. Why? Because Lillian would always sit quietly on that donkey and wait in silence for God to tell her which direction to go that day. With that step in place, we grew to expect her to always receive what she needed.

This is an area where God has been growing me for months now...being quiet before Him. Up until now, the lessons have revolved around simply being quiet in faith that He's working on something that I'm tempted to stick my hands into to "help." Up until now, the "be still and quiet before God" lessons have centered around me just waiting while He works on something. But now, the lessons are beginning to challenge me toward Lillian's type of silence. She was silent in expectation of Him telling her which way to point her feet that day...silent as she waited for Him to tell her what she should do that very moment in her life. This is a radical trust. It's the from-moment-to-moment trust that most of us don't dare to dip our toes into. I had to wonder WHY we don't rely on God as fully as Lillian did, and I believe it's because 1) we are self-sufficient with our jobs, our income, our insurance, our many safety nets and rainy-day savings...we are so self-sufficient that we have no need to be God-dependent unless it's a "big thing" that we cannot handle ourselves...and 2) we don't like to wait in silence.

This led me to a very intriguing idea... What if I could somehow move into that standing-on-thin-air faith that Lillian had...the same faith that George Mueller had...the kind of faith that only comes when 100% of my hope is in God, with no other security but Him. What kinds of things would change in my life? What miracles and treasures am I missing out on because my hands are too full holding onto my earthly securities?

I'm not advocating that anyone gets rid of insurance and quits their job! I'm saying that for me in my life, God keeps leading me into deeper dependence on Him. And I find that I can only go so far into that mode because there's a roped-off section of my life where I prefer to have control...to make sure my safety nets are in place "just in case." And what a radical idea it is to contemplate what life would be like if HE ALONE was my only hope...the sustainer of my every day existence. Definitely not for the faint of heart! But Lillian Trasher's and George Mueller's lives are so beautiful that it makes one wonder what we may be missing out on.

************************

P.S. As I was getting ready to hit the "Publish" button, something jumped out at me... Lillian Trasher and George Mueller lived in different places and different time periods, but interestingly, they had almost identical types of faith. Their faith led to similar life experiences...full reliance on God for daily needs to feed, clothe and minister to ORPHANS. And here I live in yet another place and another time period, and God is leading me deeper into this same type of faith. He's given me the same calling of caring for orphans. Perhaps each person who truly follows His steps into orphan ministry MUST have radical faith. Perhaps to truly have life-changing ministry among orphans REQUIRES a faith so true that God Himself is our only hope. Perhaps the verse He led me to years ago (before I could ever understand its meaning) is the key to orphan ministry: Hosea 14:3 "Assyria cannot save us, nor can our strength in battle. Never again will we call the idols we have made 'our gods.' No, in you alone do the orphans find mercy." Perhaps my life has to be so fully completely radically dependent on God so that the orphans can readily find HIS mercy in me...my hope fully reliant on Him so that when the orphan looks to me, he finds instead my Heavenly Father who meets every need. Oh, Lord, please let this sink into my heart and become part of me!

Praying

2009-12-10T08:20:00.005-05:00

My children blessed my heart greatly this week. A day after learning about a failed adoption of some sweet friends of ours, my daughter came to me in tears. She expressed, as only a child can, how unfair life is. She wanted to open up a place where children who are not adopted can grow up safely and happily without being transferred to a mental institution. Then in the next breath, she wanted to bring home every single child who needs a home (143 million!!). She wished she were older so that she could do some of these things. The uncomplicated and beautiful love of a child!

Why do we adults have to complicate things? Why can't we love like children? If someone needs a hug, they give it (even if the needer of the hug has a stinky diaper). If one of their brothers or sisters is thirsty, they don't think twice about pouring a cup of water for them (even if they couldn't quite manage the water pitcher). And when they see children who need a home, they ask me, "Mama, why don't people just adopt them?" Nothing like a child's honest question to make ya think! Why isn't it so clear-cut for adults? Perhaps because we've complicated our lives too much with things and events and plans and fears. I don't know, but I do know that the simplicity and depth of a child's love moved my heart.

So, we came up with a plan for some too-young-to-adopt-or-open-a-children's-home children to actively help orphans in profound ways. They went to Reece's Rainbow's website and wrote down the names of several of the children. They then transferred the names onto a prayer chart, with some children to be prayed for on Sundays, another group on Mondays, etc. Every day of the week they have a list of children to pray for, and they take this job very seriously.

Why is it that we adults can look at pictures of children who need homes and then shut down the computer without thinking twice about them? Whereas children see the faces and think of the LIFE behind the picture on the screen. They imagine how it feels to be alone in that crib at night. They worry that these precious orphans will be afraid during thunder storms (my youngest son still prays for his sister to not be afraid of thunder storms even though she has been home from the orphanage for 4 months...he just sympathized with her for so many months as he thought of her in that bed alone). Lord, please give us the eyes of children and let us enter into the suffering of these orphans!

PRAYING is the big thing. Any of us can pray, and it's a profound way to help these children. Really, who else is praying for them? What a mighty work we can do right in our own homes...lifting up these children to God! I was thrilled that my children had this idea. The Holy Spirit gave them a burden for other children, and then He was faithful to give them an outlet to lift that burden to Him, the Father of the fatherless. I want desperately for them to always go to Him for all their needs, and what an incredible blessing to see them go to Him on behalf of others too. Warms this Mama's heart!

Kirill

2009-12-08T07:49:00.007-05:00

I went to bed praying for a little boy named Kirill, and I woke up thinking about him. Then this morning when I decided to visit my own blog (sorry...I've been absent from blogging world lately), I had a comment from someone who is advocating on behalf of another little boy with a very similar name: Kiril. Interesting "coincidence." Anyway, please visit her blog and contribute just $1 to Kiril's adoption fund on Reece's Rainbow. Please spread the word. This little one is PRECIOUS!!

http://www.findingkirilsfamily.blogspot.com/

My heart has been especially heavy lately with so many children who are on their way to institutions if they are not adopted soon, and I found myself crying out to God. I don't understand, Lord! Oh how I wish I could somehow save them all! And yet this morning His still quiet voice reminded me that it is not my might or anyone else's might that saves them. In HIM ALONE do the orphans find mercy.

Yes, we play a role. We are His vessels. We simply MUST follow Him, listen to the exact directions He gives each of us and the obey in simple faith. But, when we have advocated and have worked so hard and have prayed fervently...what do we do then?? We REST in Him. We keep advocating and giving our time and resources and praying fervently...all the while resting in Him and trusting in HIM to fulfill His plans for each child. Psalm 33:4 "For the word of the Lord holds true, and everything he does is worthy of our trust." EVERYTHING! Even those things that don't seem fair to us (the children who are transfered)...even the things we don't understand (the family whose adoption dreams are crushed)...if we truly trust Him, then we know that everything He does is worthy of our trust. Everything.

Today we have the opportunity of helping Kiril and Kirill find their forever families. Kiril can be found at the blog link I gave above, and Kirill can be found on Reece's Rainbow's at-risk page. Have you seen him? He is so cute! Here's a link to his picture...he's the 3rd child on this page. www.reecesrainbow.com/newsite/atrisk.html And while you're on that page, please say a prayer for each child on that page. Kirill is very very close to being transfered to an institution, so please be in fervent prayer for his forever family to find him. These children may not have anyone else praying for them, so please pray on their behalf. We CAN do something...we can pray, give, advocate on their behalf, adopt. And the outcome we place in God's Hands, trusting Him even when we don't understand.

Early Work

2009-11-18T07:30:00.003-05:00

Too many times I have found myself "behind" all day long. Those days are hard for me because I WANT to be able to say yes to those cute dimpled hands that want me to color alongside them, but instead I have to make breakfast/lunch/dinner, do the laundry, check math problems, make bread, give baths, juggle 25 different things while smiling (okay, maybe I'm not smiling for all 25 things!!). :) Soon it's bedtime, and I wonder why in the world I never got a chance to color in that coloring book (or read that fun book or take that walk).

Ahhhh...and then there are the days I love! The days when time has a beautiful pace. There's time for the walk to pick up colorful leaves. There's time to make those scones that we've been wanting to make for a long time. There's time to sit with the younger ones and color a whole page without rushing. It's in those moments when they seem to open up and share secrets. They seem to swell up with love for me, and a spontaneous "I love you" with a hug is placed a round my neck. It's THOSE moments that I stick in my pocket and want to keep forever and ever in my memory.

For me, the key to finding that unrushed pace has been in getting an early start. It's choosing to get out of that warm bed and get downstairs. It's the quiet time alone with my Heavenly Father, seeking wisdom for the day (and please help me be a good Mama today!). And it's the "early work" that has made a huge difference for me.

If I know the things I have to do for the day, I can easily see what needs to be done before they wake up so that I can focus on more important things during the day. For example, if I blog when my children are awake, everything starts to come undone in the house (Mama loses focus on the things at home and gets sucked into cyber world!). I've also found that starting my bread dough takes much longer if I wait to do it when everyone is awake for the day. I find myself trying to teach 2 math lessons, direct the preschoolers to activities and get my bread started. So, right now before my children are downstairs, I'm blogging while my Kitchen Aid is kneading my bread dough (I blog, go add more flour, blog, turn up the speed on the Kitchen Aid, blog, go add more flour). Soon I will set the dough to rise, and when little angels are downstairs for the day, anyone who wants to can help me form rolls with the dough, as I've found this to be a fun and easy activity to do with them.

Today has a good rhythm...a steady calm rhythm...without Mama rushing to juggle too many things at once. Laundry has just finished washing and needs to go in the dryer. Little ones can help fold, and big ones can help put it away. These are things that we can do together...AND they are things that fit nicely into a steady rhythm in our house (laundry is put away every afternoon when they get their rooms ready for night time).

Breakfast is scones,bananas and hot tea (ready to go on the table). Lunch will be fresh rolls with apple butter and fruit (dough is rising). Dinner will be chicken salad sandwiches (chicken is almost thawed and will soon be marinaded and then baked...later I will shred the chicken with one or two helpers).

There's peace in knowing what lies ahead of us today. There's a steady rhythm that allows for the flexibility of reading that extra chapter in our quiet time book when they plead with me for "just one more chapter, Mama!" There's a rhythm that fits in the must-do's and allows time for the oh-I-wish-we-could's.

And it all begins with me pulling back the warm sheets when it's still dark outside and then submitting to the "early work" that otherwise would throw off the calm routine.

I'm actually on track this morning. I'd better put the blog to bed before it all comes unravelled. :)

Still and Quiet

2009-11-15T08:55:00.004-05:00

Recently something happened that was not at all fair, and my insides screamed for justice! I took matters into my own hands (see my recent post about my idol of control...and pray for me!). Yep, I did it again...I tried to fix things (people!), and I ended up with a bigger mess than when I started.

So, when I awoke at 2am the next morning, I began to pray. I REALLY wanted God to show me what to do when I face circumstances like that. And again I found Him to be faithful. He led me straight to Psalm 131. It's short...only 3 verses...but its impact was immense. "Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don't concern myself with matters too great or awesome for me. But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord---now and always."

Have you ever been reading God's Word, and the Holy Spirit just stirs something?? Well, this hit me... I am to be STILL and QUIET, even when something unfair or upsetting happens. And that is not a natural still and quiet. It is supernatural and only comes from my soul resting fully completely in my Lord. If I truly trust in Him as I say I do, then I will trust Him to make the wrong things right. If I truly put my trust in Him, then my soul will wait confidently, being still and quiet instead of taking matters into my own hands.

And that little piece of wisdom unlocked a whole other area that I had been seeking Him in...

We are praying about some very specific ways of helping more of His children (more details to come!). And He spoke very clearly to me, saying that these children need an atmosphere of healing. Our own daughter who has only been out of the orphanage for 3 months needs a daily atmosphere that fosters the healing she needs. I remember one day a few weeks ago I was rushing about the house getting things done (the never-ending list that we Mamas have), and I was just busy busy busy rushing to and fro, from room to room. Our daughter came up to me and clung to my leg. I scooped her up, kissed her and then continued my pace to get the next thing done. But my Heavenly Father stopped me in my tracks, and as clear as day in my spirit, I heard, "She cannot heal like this." It literally STOPPED me right where I was (right in front of the dryer with the door open and a pile of laundry waiting to be folded)!

There's nothing wrong with getting things done. We NEED to keep an orderly house. But the busy rushing and nervous energy does not facilitate a calm atmosphere where little hearts can thrive.

So, when God brought me to those verses about being still and quiet before Him, I knew He was teaching me HOW to create an atmosphere in my home. Sometimes we get busy just to be busy, when in reality we need to just still and quiet ourselves before Him and do just those things He's setting before us. His careful pruning shears come out again, and I submit to them. Lord, help me truly believe that YOU are working in everything, and let me confidently wait on You with a quiet and still spirit.

(And how do I get my to-do list done without rushing about?? Well, that is an ongoing challenge. I'll share more someday soon.)

The Face of Love

2009-11-11T20:08:00.006-05:00

Last night during dinner I met the tangible love of Jesus.

She was sitting next to me in her high chair, and she reached out her little arms towards me. I leaned in for a hug. But before I could leave her embrace, she stopped me a few inches from her face. She put her hands on my cheeks very softly and just smiled at me, looking deep deep into my eyes...way past my eyes and into my soul. I can honestly say that it was one of the times in my life when I felt most loved for just being plain ol' me. She smiled and did a throat noise that meant, "My whole being loves you." As long as I live, that moment will be etched in my memory. In that space in time I experienced one of the purest forms of love that one human can have for another. And I choked on the lump in my throat as it hit me: "Lord, You sent this child to teach me how to love."

Our journey to our youngest child was a long bumpy road that led all the way to an orphanage in Taiwan. She has Down Syndrome, which meant that the odds were not in her favor in her home country. We knew God was calling us to step forward to adopt her as our daughter. We knew He was calling us to love her.

But what we didn't know was how little we really knew about love. It took us by surprise that this child we set out to love was the very one who is teaching us how to truly love. The kind of love that she naturally gives to us...the way she intuitively pats our backs when we are sad, the way she tries to smile even when she isn't feeling well, the way she stops a hundred times a day to just come hug us...and the way she took my face in her hands last night and taught me some fundamentals of love. It's the simplicity of not only making eye contact but looking past the eyes and into the inner person...and accepting with joy what you find inside that person (no matter what mess you may see in them). It's making someone else feel like they are the most important and cherished person on the planet.

I had to ask myself the question: How many times have I loved my children that way? My husband? My friends? My parents? The needy person I'm supposedly "helping"? How many people have felt as deeply cherished as I felt last night with those precious messy hands on my face? I'd venture to guess zero.

I want to be more like my daughter. Some may say she has a syndrome that makes her different. And I say YES, thank the good Lord that she is beautifully different! If only the whole world could experience that kind of love!

Seasonal Breakfast

2009-11-11T09:24:00.004-05:00

Today our table was set with a fun breakfast that thrilled the troops, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Baked oatmeal (which our children call "oatmeal squares") topped with EGGNOG! Oh, yes, they were happy this morning!